I pour myself another coffee, one for Bill, and tea for Maya.
‘Lucy runs Slaters all by herself,’ I tell him. ‘She’s on maternity leave at the minute, but she’ll be back soon. I’ve got good staff at the new gallery, and Gordon’s a partner. I don’t need to be hands-on. I still get time to help with looking after the kids.’ I wave at them. ‘Jack’s already started school. Ruby’s starting when we get back. Emily’s in a great nursery. It’s getting easier. Maya’s got a reputation now. She’s in demand. She needs to paint, and I do everything I can to make sure it happens.’
‘You got yourself a good husband there,’ Bill grins.
‘The best,’ Maya grins back.
And my heart swells.
Bill takes a sip of his coffee. ‘Hey, I saw that spread in the Observer.’
My wife lets out a laugh: the most beautiful sound in the world.
‘Apparently,’ she chuckles, ‘we’re London’s new ‘power couple in the art world’.’
‘Great photos.’
They certainly were. Me in a tux, Maya stunning in a black gown.
‘Ooh, that was grim,’ she frowns.
‘How so?’
‘I’m not really a natural when it comes to photo shoots. I can’t do a normal smile.’ She points at her lips. ‘It’s all so false.’
And that’s why I had to pause the shoot, take her into my office and fuck her half way into next week. That certainly did the trick. Plenty of photos of her looking lovingly at her husband, and hey presto we were in business.
‘Well, you looked natural to me,’ Bill says.
‘Just like those people in the perfume ads,’ I quip.
She laughs again.
‘Daddy?’
I look down to find Ruby at my side.
‘What is it, Rubes?’
‘I want a cake.’
‘Ah, the monsters are getting hungry.’
I motion for her to climb onto the seat beside me and get her a pancake, drizzling it with syrup and passing the plate to her.
‘How’s your swimming costume?’
She ignores me and digs in.
‘Did I really put it on inside-out?’
She nods.
‘Daddy silly pants.’
With a snigger, she shoves a piece of pancake into her mouth. And now Emily’s back, climbing onto my lap without a care in the world. A tiny elbow lands in exactly the wrong place. I wince, pick her up and carefully reposition her.
‘Jack,’ Maya calls out. ‘Come and eat now, if you want to go swimming.’
Immediately, he drops the ball and returns to the veranda. And I relax. For the time being, they’re all in the shade, all suddenly interested in food.
‘Why don’t you come out with us?’ I ask Bill.
He watches as Jack helps himself to more fruit, and then shakes his head.
‘I’ll read the papers, sit in an air-conditioned room and sleep. You’ll have fun with Louis and his family. You don’t need an old man holding you up.’
‘There’s air-conditioning on the boat,’ Maya prompts him.
Because it’s more of a yacht than a boat, complete with galley, living area and two bedrooms, useful when you’ve got an exhausted, over-heating toddler on your hands.
‘And it’s Dan’s birthday.’
Oh great. She had to go and mention that.
‘Ah, happy birthday, Dan.’ Bill takes another sip of coffee. ‘You should have said. I haven’t got you anything.’
I mumble a little. ‘It’s okay. I don’t make a big deal of it.’
‘But you should,’ Maya interrupts.
Every single year, she insists I celebrate my birthday, and every single year I try to get away with it … and fail. I might as well throw in the towel. She gets up and saunters into the house. I watch her go, mesmerised by her backside, half-wondering what she’s up to now.
‘Right,’ she begins, returning with a handful of cards. ‘Here you go.’
One by one, she hands the cards to the children, and finally, one to Bill.
‘Aha,’ the old man laughs. ‘You think Maya would let this go? She emailed me last week and set this up.’
‘Good secrets,’ I murmur.
In turn, each of the children wish me a happy birthday and present me with their own hand-made card: Jack’s adorned with a picture of a turtle; Ruby’s with the words ‘Dady sily ponts’; and Emily’s with a random scribble. When I’m done, I open Bill’s, and finally Maya’s, closing it quickly when I spot the word ‘spank.’ My cock twitches. I’ll read that one later. Slipping it back in its envelope and hiding it under a plate, I reward my distinctly naughty wife with a reprimanding look. With a smirk and a shrug, she arranges the rest of the cards in front of me on the table, moving plates and cups out of the way.
‘Well, I’m one lucky man,’ I beam. ‘Thank you everyone. This is lovely. Now, let’s eat.’
We set about the usual rigmarole of a family meal, calming restless children, dealing with refusals to try something new, clearing up the constant mess. I never fail to be amazed by our wordless communication as we pass food and plates and juice cups between us, reading each other’s mind every step of the way, acting as one. When everyone’s settled, I finally dig in to my own plateful of pancakes.
‘So,’ Bill begins, pouring himself a second coffee. ‘Yesterday, I was busy updating my Will.’
I stop, mid-chew, and eye my old friend. That’s really put a slammer on the morning’s happiness.
‘I’m getting old, Dan. No family as such. I need to think about what should happen.’
And I’m pretty sure I know what’s on his mind.
‘What would you say if I left all this to you and Maya?’
I glance at my wife. She shakes her head, and I know she’s on the same wavelength as me, as ever. I need to knock him back, but I need to do
