‘Okay.’ Leaning in to her, I speak out of the corner of my mouth. ‘I’m going to tell you something very strange now.’
She blows her nose, suppresses a sob and narrows her eyes.
‘I don’t want you to say a word,’ I warn her. ‘And I don’t want you to react. I want you to just carry on as if you’re upset. Do you understand?’
She frowns.
‘I mean it, Layla. I’m not supposed to be telling you this. You’re going to think I’m mad, but I’m not, and this is the truth. So just listen and say nothing. I’ve not really split up with Dan. It’s only temporary and it’s all an act.’
Leaving out my sister’s involvement, and Jodie’s too, I tell her almost everything, from Boyd tracing me, through his surprise appearances, to what he did to Dan. I give her a moment to let it all sink in before I explain the upshot of it all.
‘Boyd’s told Dan to stay away from me. If we see each other, if we go to the police, he’ll do something else. Don’t worry, you’re perfectly safe,’ I lie, noticing the alarm in her eyes. ‘He’s only after me and Dan. We don’t know what he’s capable of, so we have no choice at the minute. We have to go along with it. So, officially, we’ve split up. Dan’s ended it. And we need to make everyone believe that.’
‘Have you been drinking?’ she asks, goggle-eyed.
‘I wish.’ I fix her with a resolute stare. ‘I’m not mad and I’m totally sober. This man tried to kill your brother. It’s important you tell no one. I’m not supposed to talk about it, but you need the truth. And now I’ve given it to you, you need to keep it safe.’
She’s still not convinced, and I could do with some proof. I look around. Thankfully, my shadow’s still leaning against the railings.
‘See him?’ I nod in his direction. ‘I think he’s my protection. He’ll turn round in a minute and check on me.’ I open up my handbag and show her the contents. ‘This is mace and that’s a rape alarm. Dan’s making me carry them. He wanted me to come and talk to you. You were going to find out about the accident sooner or later, and he’s not ready to meet you.’
She twists the tissues in her fingers. A seagull lands by her feet and begins to pick at a discarded, soggy chip.
‘But he will be one day. I know it.’
She locks eyes with me, as if she’s searching for evidence.
‘It’s all true. On my life. But whether you believe me or not, you need to keep this quiet.’
She blinks a few times, then nods.
‘Until this is all sorted, I can’t go anywhere near him. I can’t contact him. I can’t talk to him. And it’s killing me. But if I can do it, then you can do it too. I need you to be patient this time. I need you on my side.’ I take in a deep, jittery lungful of sea air. ‘Promise me, Layla. Say nothing. And don’t text me or call me. I think Boyd’s tapping my phone.’
The possibilities flash through her eyes.
‘I won’t,’ she confirms at last. ‘You can trust me.’
‘Well, I’m relying on you. Just don’t let me down.’
It’s early evening. I’m on another train, nursing yet another coffee. As we wind our way back to London, I gaze at my reflection, wondering who the hell I’m looking at. This morning’s nerves have disappeared. I’ve defied fear and I’ve defied Boyd. I haven’t hidden and I haven’t run. I’m certainly not the woman I used to be.
But why is that?
The answer comes immediately.
Dan.
An addiction? Yes. Without a doubt. But so much more than that. Since he first exploded into my life, I’ve been high on adrenalin, high on excitement and high on lust. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. After all, if I hadn’t lost myself in the madness, if I hadn’t nudged aside the doubts, then I would never have fallen in love with the man beneath the veneer. And he’s a man who gives me everything I need: love, respect and friendship, support, encouragement, protection, fidelity. The list is endless, each component worth its weight in gold. And mixed together, the final result is priceless – a one-off work of art, just like the necklace. It’s because of him that I’m finally becoming myself, finding a strength I never knew I had. I study my reflection again. That’s who I’m looking at. The Maya Scotton I always wanted to be.
And now I feel a little sick, a little foolish. I sit back, watching as the fenlands slip past and questions tumble about in my mind. Can I really trust Layla to keep quiet? Or have I just woven a massive weakness into the web? Now that I’ve realised, with absolute clarity, what I’ve found with Dan … have I really just put it all at risk?
Chapter Four
Marooned in chaos, I’ve decided that today’s the day for sorting things out. My poor combats and T-shirts must be completely confused. After living it up in a penthouse walk-in wardrobe, they’re back in their usual downmarket surroundings, languishing in my bedroom alongside their snooty Harrods counterparts. Over the past few days, I’ve been slowly unpacking, half-heartedly opening one neatly taped-up box after another and rummaging through the contents, finding everything perfectly folded and rolled. Gina’s obviously been roped in to
