“You gave him to me because you love me.”
Tarrant nods. “When I was a kid, I never loved anyone more than you, not even Mom,” he admits.
My eyes widen at his statement. Surprise and affection bursts inside me. “Wow,” I whisper.
“I’d give Granville to Laura, in a second. She has everything… all of me.” His voice is raspy, and his eyes fill with obvious love. “I’m not really sure if there would be anyone else if I lost her.”
“Really?”
He rubs his hand over the lower part of his face as though in thought. “For you, I can be honest. Always.” My lips curl in delight, but I remain silent. “I know we’re young still, by society’s standards...” He flips the bird toward the glass doors leading to our backyard and smirks. “Fuck society. I believe there’s one person out there. One person who will fill every hole inside your soul. That person will stand by your side through the rough times and stand in front of you in the toughest. The person who’s always on your mind. Not just first thing in the morning and last thing at night, but also throughout your dreams.” Tarrant pauses his eyes glazing over slightly. “I don’t know what I’d do without her. It would be like living without my sight. I feel like maybe not everyone has one person, but I’ve always felt something inside of me. Almost a silent voice, telling me that when I meet her, I’d know, and when I love it will be forever. Never will there be anyone else for me. Not ever.”
My throat dries, and I swallow to try and ease it. There’s a thumping in my head, a strumming, I think it’s coming from my heart. I know how I feel about Casper, Tarrant’s just explained it.
“Your absolute,” I say quietly.
Tarrant looks back at me. “My absolute.”
I thought we were different. I mistook different for unique. While worrying about our differences, I never noticed all our similarities. All the ways we’re almost exactly the same, think the same, act the same. Love the same. With our whole heart, for one person, one love, one life, one forever. It’s our all or nothing. Always.
How the fuck will I cope with forever, if Casper decides to live the lie?
“Did Tarrant order you to call me?” They’re the first words out of Laura’s mouth the second our phone line connects.
I laugh. “No, but he did remind me I’ve been seriously lacking in my best friend duties.”
“Ahh, it’s okay, I understand, Caden. I know you’ve been looking for a job and stuff,” she replies quietly.
I feel a pang of guilt, there has been no searching for employment, even though I should be elbow deep in application forms. My mom’s job has taken off, at least that’s what she told me via email the other day. She’s expecting a promotion soon. We barely see each other at the moment. If you had of told me this six months ago—when she was a mess of emotions, unable to even drag herself into the shower, and that she would have found a job and be climbing the corporate ladder so soon—I would have laughed in your face, or possibly punched you. Then again, if you had told me my mom would be able to live life without checking in on me at least once a day, I’d have been surprised, and a little worried.
Now, though, it feels natural. Like the transition she’s made was always supposed to happen. I haven’t been concerned at her absence either. She’s happier than she’s ever been, and I want that for her. I knew the time would come when Tarrant and I would grow up, leave home and make our own lives. Our mother would still feature, but she’d be in the background not the forefront. It seems that the time has come.
“Actually, I haven’t,” I confess.
“Oh…” Her voice is so deflated that the guilt intensifies and I pull at the collar of my sweatshirt.
“I’m sorry, I’ve just been tied up in my own head a little,” I lie.
“And with a certain football player on your mind?” I can hear the humor in her voice.
“Is it that obvious?”
“Yeah, Caden. You’re not discrete with your feelings, your face gives everything away.”
Deciding to change topic I ask, “You coming to my game tonight?”
“Of course. Tarrant’s coming, too.”
“He is?” I’m surprised, Tarrant rarely attends my football games.
“Yeah, he said he’s been MIA too much and wants to show you he supports everything you do.”
My breath catches as I struggle to beat back the overly emotional moment I’m having. “I’m lucky to have him.” I whisper.
“We both are,” she whispers back.
I cough, rub the back of my neck and rein myself in. “So, how’s Morgan? What’s going on with her?”
“Ugh, Morgan. Honesty, I do not know. I’ve been spending more time in the dorm rather than at Tarrant’s place because I need to see her. She needs to know I’m around to talk to.” Laura sighs. “Lately she’s skipping more and more school, and she’s disappearing a lot. I know she’s not going to Max’s or, at least, I don’t think she is. I don’t know what to do.” There’s a desperation in her tone.
“Have you thought about speaking to Max?” I question.
“I have…” she sighs again, “… but I feel like that would be going behind her back.”
“If it’s for her own good—”
“I know you’re right, Caden, but I need to be sure that I’ve exhausted every other avenue first.”
“Okay, how about me, you, and Morgan, go out after the game tomorrow night?” I suggest.
“I have a better idea. How about we veg after
