Maria Macdonald
Conflicted
Deliverance Series
Book Two
Maria Macdonald
Copyright 2018 Maria Macdonald
All Rights Reserved
This book is a work of fiction. Any references to real events, real people, and real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the Author’s imagination and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, organizations or places is entirely coincidental.
All rights are reserved. This book is intended for the purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the express written permission of the Author. All songs, song titles and lyrics contained in this book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.
Editing by Swish Design & Editing
Formatting by Swish Design & Editing
Cover design by Pink Elephant Designs
Cover Image Copyright 2018
To Klaire Sutherland
You told me to do this… so I did.
It wouldn’t be the same without you by my side.
They say, ‘Be true to yourself and follow your heart.’
But what if the two things aren’t mutually exclusive?
If only one half is being honest, can you ever really be complete?
For years I was my own oppressor until I found my absolute.
He was the addiction I didn’t want to fight, one that nearly broke me.
But I knew, when it came to Casper, I was never going to be a survivor.
I enjoyed drowning too damn much.
Dedication
Blurb
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Epilogue
Playlist
Acknowledgments
Connect With Me Online
About the Author –Maria Macdonald
This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.
– William Shakespeare –
It’s funny, or maybe it isn’t.
In a moment when life can become so abhorrent, so horrifically cruel it should be all our brain allows us to focus on, that’s when the beautiful mind comes into its own. Because in that second it provides escape, taking us away from the unbearable pain we’re living in the present.
Fists rain down on me like rocks, heavy boots striking my ribs with force, my lungs struggle to breathe, and my eyes strain to find solace. Searching out the only beautiful in that moment, purple and pink blur my vision as the tears flow uncontrolled. I don’t know where my camera went in the tussle, but if the field of Cosmos flowers I was photographing is the last thing I see, then I’m truly blessed my mind has decided to gift me with that beauty.
As they shout their poisonous words, aggressively delivering evil—no doubt accompanied by spittle—my body becomes numb, and my mind tries to do the same.
“Fucking faggot.”
“Yeah, dirty ass beater.”
“I hate pussies like you. I bet you were staring at our dicks in the changing room.”
I don’t argue, don’t mention that I wasn’t even in their changing room. There’s no point. Six against one, the odds aren’t in my favor. Instead, I focus on the flowers. Something pretty in the darkness. I know it won’t be long before I black out. Then I may wake up… or I might not.
My teeth rattle and blood pools on the ground as it spills from my mouth. Another blow hits my skull, and the throbbing spreads as my ears start ringing. Someone must jump on my lower leg because a scream rips from my chest as the pain radiates through my limb. Coughing, I’m not sure my body can sustain much more, while my chest revolts as I try to breathe.
I don’t know what the afterlife will be like. Is there even a place for someone like me?
There’s only one thing on my mind. One person. Casper. And as I slip in and out of consciousness, I hope, no, I fucking pray, that they haven’t got any suspicions about him. I need to let him know they came for me, I need to warn him.
Looking through the slits that my eyelids have become, I can only make out a dark figure as he crouches down at my side. “You’re a disease. People like you shouldn’t be allowed to socialize within normal society.” His hot breath smells of beer, and I know his voice, but it’s out of my grasp right now, held somewhere in the recesses of my brain. I can’t quite pick out who it is. But I know it. I know him. “The fact is, fags like you are always trying to turn real men like me.” He trails his finger across my chin, and I catch a faint whiff of something… peanuts. “You’ll never be a real man.” With those words, he punches me once, twice, three times in the face before I lose count and unconsciousness, or death takes me.
“So, does this mean you’re poor like me now?” Laura slots the last box of Lucky Charms onto the shelf. Standing up, tilting her head back, she places her hand over her eyes to block out the sun and squints up at me. She’s different to the girl I first met all those months ago.
Her relationship with my twin brother, Tarrant, has changed her. He’s given her confidence she was sorely lacking. They complement one another, each bringing something unique to their relationship, balancing them without ever holding the other back. As far as Tarrant’s concerned,
