“You parked around here?”
I nod and point back up the beach. “Over at the stonewall.”
“Right. I’m going that way,” he replies, and we fall comfortably into step alongside each other.
I sneak glances at him. He’s got a pair of black joggers and sneakers on. His jacket is one of those leather types with gray jersey sleeves and a hood. He’s wearing a baseball cap backward, and some light brown hair pokes out from the front. He’s quiet, and I wonder how much I can ask him without being rude.
“You always choose the beach for your walks?” I question.
His eyes flash my way briefly then they settle back in front of him again. “I moved here recently, my uncle has a place on the beach.” His explanation causes me to inwardly groan. His uncle must be loaded to afford a home on the beach. Meeting someone who has money wouldn’t have ever concerned me before. Now my mom and dad have split. My father remains in our old house while they go through their divorce. It’s become really messy, and while it’s being fought, he’s not giving my mom more than the absolute minimum. Every dime she gets from him goes into keeping the house we have. I told her to sell it, but she said she’d lose money on it now. Instead, she’s trying to find a job.
Tarrant has been topping her up with the cash he makes from fixing cars. Now, I need to find a job too. The only thing my father has paid for is our tuition—I guess we should be grateful. However, my tuition comes with conditions. I need to continue playing football. I don’t mind, not really, but I wish I could use my time how I choose. There are so many things I’d love to do, like hiking and painting, but between school and football, I don’t have time for it.
When I do get a job, it will be even harder. It’s only a couple of months until school’s out, then I have one more year. That means I need to think about what I’m going to do afterward. For right now, I just need a job. As a guy, when you take out a girl, there’s an expectancy to pay for the date. I’ve only had three dates with other guys since I came out—I paid for two and the third we split the tab. I’m now going to have to watch what I spend. His family obviously have money, what’s the betting this guy does too? And I don’t. It’s just another drop of poison from my internal tap, telling me I’m not good enough.
“How recently did you move here?” I try to keep my voice relaxed, pretend like I’m not burning up on the inside, as we come to a stop at the stonewall.
“About ten days,” he tells me.
I nod and stretch my arms up, yawning. His eyes skim over my body, stopping briefly on my exposed stomach. I hum without realizing it, and he quickly averts his gaze. He shakes his head angrily. It’s such a small movement he probably doesn’t think I notice.
“You okay?” I ask, scratching the back of my head on purpose, so my top rises again. His eyes stay locked on mine this time.
“Yeah, I gotta go.”
“Of course. You go to college around here?” I push to get a little more information out of him. I know I want to see him again, I just have to figure out a way.”
“Erm… actually, I start West Hayden tomorrow.”
I almost swallow my tongue when he mentions my college. “That’s where I go.” My words come out slightly raspy, and he raises an eyebrow. Smacking a fist on my chest, I give a lame excuse. “Sorry, must have caught a bug in my throat.”
Casper nods slowly like he can’t decide if I’m crazy or not, but when the corners of his mouth twitch like he’s fighting a smile, a brass band starts performing inside me. He’s gay, he’s gay, he’s gay. The words accompany the brass band, and I hope like hell I’m right.
“So, see you tomorrow?” I whisper.
Casper tilts his to the side. “Sure.”
I don’t wait for anything else, not wanting to make myself look like an idiot. I know I’ll see him tomorrow and that’s enough for now.
“Hey, Morgan, hold up,” I semi shout as I spot her small frame. Morgan’s long dark hair flies around in the breeze as she hustles to class. “Morgan,” I shout again, this time I place my finger and thumb in my mouth and let out a high-pitched whistle. She jerks to a stop and turns tentatively. Worry passes over her face until she spots me, then a smile breaks free. Her smile is real, but it looks almost like it’s from relief more than anything else. I jog forward, brushing through the crowd until I make it to her. “What’s up with you?” I ask the instant I’m in her space.
“W-what are you talking about?” Her voice is steady, but her eyes look everywhere except at me.
“There’s something up with you. Ever since you split up with Aaron last week, you’ve been different.” I scratch my chin, unable to put my finger on it.
Morgan threads her arm through mine. “Nah, I’m good, big guy.” She pats me on the chest with her free hand, as though reassuring me.
“Okay,” I reply. I know there’s something happening, I’m going to need to
