Wiping his face and swiping the hair from his eyes, Uncle Dane reaches for his glass and refills it before swigging down the whole lot in one go. He hisses through his teeth as no doubt the burn sears his throat.
“After I lost Nova the first time, I lived a half-life, a robotic existence that forced me to become cold and calculating. When she came back, she freed me, Isaac. She didn’t make me want to be better, she simply made me better just by being her.”
His eyes are wild and far away as he forgoes the glass and takes a swig of Scotch straight from the bottle this time. “The truth is, Isaac, I don’t know how to exist without her, not anymore. And honestly?” He places the bottle down on the coffee table and stares directly into my eyes. They’re clear now—cold, aware, and focused. “I don’t want to.”
He gets up, staggering away, then he starts climbing the stairs as I sit having not a fucking clue what to do. Halfway up he stops. “Thanks for coming over, Isaac,” he says leaning over the banister. “You did what you could. But without her, it’s like my heart has been ripped clean out of my body.”
Standing, I move to the hallway looking up at him.
Uncle Dane stares back at me earnestly. “I hope you never feel this pain, the only way I can even try to describe it?”
I grab the banisters and wait for him to finish.
“Imagine if your mum visited you at your home tonight and told you that Liv had died.”
With those parting words, he drags himself up the stairs, and I release my grip, clutching my stomach as my mind is assaulted with images of Via dying.
I’ve been through a lot in the last five years, but even the pain of being tortured for days doesn’t come close to the agony—which isn’t even justified—that right now is winding me.
I finally understand that my uncle can’t cope. It also makes me realise that none of us can do anything for him. He’ll never find peace, not now she’s gone. And I know because I’ll never be at peace without Via.
LIV
“That was brutal, are you okay?” Toby asks me, slipping his arm around my shoulders.
I nod. Right at this moment I can’t speak. My tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth and I’m battling with my inner emotions so I don’t turn into jelly and sob like a baby. We’re leaving Aunt Libby’s funeral, and Toby is taking me to the wake at Mum and Dad’s house.
The funeral itself was beautiful with huge arrangements of white and pink lilies throughout the church. Dad and Aunt Soph both went up to speak, and my cousin Lottie read a poem through a deluge of tears. None of it distracts from the fact that we’re a tight-knit family, and we’ve lost a key player. My aunt was full of love and light, and now all I see when I look at my Uncle Dane is darkness. It’s sad… and scary.
I tried to keep from looking over at Isaac, but the few times my eyes did wander, I found our gazes collided. He was next to Uncle Dane holding him up, trying to be his strength, but his eyes were constantly on me. I’ve been ignoring it all, but I can’t anymore. I need to face this, him, us. Once the sorrow has lessened.
One thing I couldn’t help but notice today was the absence of Shelly. I know he said they’d broken up, but he also said there never really was an Isaac and Shelly. Who knows what the real truth is?
“Why wasn’t Shelly here?” I ask and feel Toby instantly tense.
He shrugs. “I don’t know.”
“They’re still together though, right?” I question. He doesn’t know what Isaac told me, and I’m beyond the point of worrying what anyone thinks. Besides, Toby is very aware of my feelings for his brother.
He smiles sadly at me. “Yeah, she’s still living with him, so I assume so.”
Coldness washes over my skin with the knowledge that Isaac outright lied to me.
“Come on, let’s get this day over with,” I tell Toby hurrying toward his car.
“You’re drunk.”
“Why do you care for my drunky self wiff my happy brandy?” I mumble incoherently in reply to Isaac’s blindingly obvious declaration.
“Come on, I’m taking you home,” he tells me lunging for my glass.
Somewhere between him stretching for—and missing—my drink, I become aware of the fact that he’s trying to remove the alcohol from my hand, and I make a snap decision to jerk it away from his outstretched arm. Sticky brandy coats my face, part of my hair, the top of my breasts, there’s even a little on my ear.
“I never knewed that glasses had so much alco… a-alco… alpocol in them.” I grin massively at Isaac, then try to extend my tongue to reach my chin so I can lick the drink up. It doesn’t work, and Isaac indulgently smiles back at me. I grab his chin between my thumb and forefinger and pull his face toward
