I nod my reply because although I’m itching to know everything, as well as work out where that leaves Isaac and me, whether we can make a go of something or not, I’m exhausted, and my brain and body still feel like mush.
“I wonder how Uncle Dane is?” I mumble, changing the subject.
“Probably feels like slitting his wrists,” Isaac responds, and I jerk at his words.
He lowers me back down to the bed. “I’m sorry, Via,” he says, seeing the emotion written across my face.
“It’s okay,” I whisper.
“No, it’s not, baby,” he replies running his finger across my forehead. It’s almost like he can’t sit there without a part of him touching a part of me. “You have to understand, I saw him the other day, I know how broken he is.”
“He loved her so much. She was his whole world,” I reply quietly.
His hand stills on my face. “I know how that feels,” he mutters, leaning down, he kisses my forehead. “Get some sleep, baby,” he tells me, then promptly gets up and walks out.
Did Isaac James just tell me I’m his whole world?
I soak up the moment, whether it’s true or not.
LIV
I ran away from Isaac.
Well, that’s not entirely true, I didn’t run away. I just told him I needed time, and that wasn’t a lie. With Aunt Libby dying, I needed to spend some time with my parents, and honestly, the little information Isaac has told me so far left my mind reeling.
How much more is there?
What else is he going to tell me?
But… the real reason I took some time? I keep trying to push it from my mind.
What if the secret he tells me does makes me see him differently?
I’m scared.
Part of me thinks that if he confesses something horrendous, something that would cause my love for him to fade, it would be a bonus. Then I could move on, and I’d be free of my feelings for him.
The real me—the one I try to keep locked away, the small part that’s still a teenage girl on the inside—that part is scared of knowing the truth in case it makes me see him differently. I’m not sure I could handle my fantasy being shattered.
“How are you feeling?” Helena asks, poking her head around my bedroom door.
“I’m okay. Surviving,” I reply with a tight lipped smile.
She shuffles in and sits on the side of my bed. “Liv, I’m not sure if this is the right thing to say, especially because I never liked Isaac. Well, I mean I never knew him.” She shrugs. “But from all the things you told me and how sad you always were whenever he was mentioned, I obviously hated him. BFF rules, right?” she says the last sentence with sarcasm in her tone, and I giggle. Helena is probably the least likely person I know to be preppy and use titles such as BFF, even though she is my best friend and hopefully will be forever.
“Yes, Hel, BFF rules.” I deadpan arching my eyebrow at her.
“Anyway, I digress. As I said, I’m thinking this time you might need to give him a chance. Spend some time with him, if nothing else he’ll hopefully help you mourn your aunt. Just… guard your heart a little, okay? Be careful.”
“Thanks, Hel.” I pull her in for a hug and ponder over her words. I suppose I can’t hide from Isaac forever, but I’m going to take another day. It’s been a week, one more day won’t hurt.
“You wanna go to Casper’s tonight?” I ask, propping my pillow behind me and sitting back against the wall. My fingertips tap a rhythm on my thigh, I desperately have the urge to dance.
Her smile drops. “I can’t. That’s the other reason I popped in here. I’m taking off for a few days.”
I lurch forward. “What’s wrong?”
“My nan is still poorly. She’s back in hospital.”
“Shit,” I throw out. Helena’s nan has been poorly on and off for a few weeks now. She was in hospital with flu when we had Aunt Libby’s funeral, but she had gotten better and went home a week ago. It seems she wasn’t as well as they thought.
“I’m sure she’ll be okay, she’s a tough old bird,” Helena jests, but there’s concern in her voice, too.
“I’m here if you need me, I’m just a call away,” I tell her, and she nods. “When are you going?” I ask.
“I’m leaving for the station in about twenty minutes. Gramps only called me last night to let me know, so I got a last-minute ticket. You were already in bed, I didn’t want to wake you,” she explains.
“Listen,” I demand grabbing her bicep. “If something like this happens again, you wake me straight away, okay?”
Helena smiles then pulls out of my hold with a chuckle. “You’re a nutter, you know that, right? But I love ya, girl,” she says.
“Back at ya.” I wink. “Right, I’m going to throw some clothes on then walk to the train station and see you off.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she protests.
“I know, but I want to.”
Helena wrinkles her nose. “No shower?”
“Cheeky cow!” I retort with a smirk. “I’m going to the studio after. Once I dance, I’ll have a shower there. Is that okay, mum?” She rolls her eyes at my sass.
“Get your arse in gear then.” Helena smiles, jumping off the bed and strolling out of the room.
“Do you
