But she couldn’t look away. She was afraid if she did, he’d die, or he’d disappear, and she’d wake up and learn all this was a dream.
Ellair finished and put his things away. When he left the room, Kate followed him. “Is he going to be all right?”
“That is now in the hands of God. He lost much blood, but his wounds didna touch the organs. Still, he may die of blood loss or rot-wound.”
Kate nodded solemnly and returned to the room, praying silently to God or whomever would listen, to save Ian. A few minutes after the healer left, Kenneth MacKenzie came in.
“How is he, lass?” he asked.
Kate stood paralyzed by the door. Seeing Ian ashen and immobile in the bed brought darkness all around her. “He lost a lot of blood, but Ellair says the wounds have missed major organs. Now all we do is wait.”
“What happened?”
“The English,” she said in an expressionless tone. “They’re making another attempt to capture Inverlochy and other castles north. A garrison came through Ian’s lands, and he defended his people. On the way here, six of them attacked us.”
Kenneth’s jaws tightened. “Thank ye for telling me, lass. The vultures are probably thinking ’tis a good time to attack while Bruce is busy in northeast.”
“Yes. That’s what I heard them say.”
“Aye. Well. ’Tis smart. But I wilna let them take the castle.”
“Ian, Craig, and Owen managed to fight off this one garrison, but more are coming, I heard. And they might even attack together with the MacDougalls.”
Kenneth shook his head. “Pigheaded MacDougalls. Fighting on the wrong side of this battle. They should be on our side. They’re Highlanders. But I suppose I understand them a wee bit. If someone had killed my nephew, I wouldna have been happy about it, either.”
“Who do you mean?”
“Bruce killed John Comyn, his main contestant to the throne. He was the MacDougall chief’s nephew. ’Tis personal for them. I suppose they’re true Highlanders in that way.”
“They were the ones who sent Ian to slavery in Baghdad,” Kate said, suddenly furious with the MacDougalls, people she’d never seen in her life. “It would be personal for me, too, if I ever saw them.”
She looked into Kenneth’s eyes. “If they ever come here, you make them pay.”
Kenneth held her gaze solemnly, then nodded briefly and left.
Kate finally found the strength to move. She went to Ian’s bed and sat on the edge on the other side, then climbed onto the bed and lay next to Ian. She stared at his profile, which appeared to be lifeless. No flutter of eyelashes or flicker of eyelids. His chest rose and fell, but barely. Kate carefully reached out and put her hand on his forehead. His skin was cool and dry. She moved a bit closer and inhaled his scent.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I’ll do anything so that you live. I’ll stay with you forever if that’s what it takes. Mandy and Jax will somehow do without me. I want you to live. Please, live. I love you.”
She whispered it all like a prayer, like a charm that would keep death away. Then, the exhaustion of all that had happened claimed her, and she slept.
When she woke up, the sun had already risen and colored the sky in the pale gold and blue of an early summer morning. Ian was looking at her, his eyes cloudy but awake. She smiled and cupped his jaw.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve died and came alive to an angel,” he rasped.
She snorted. “Only if I’m one of those fat angels from Renaissance paintings.”
“I dinna ken what ye mean, Katie.”
“Forget it. Are you in pain?”
“Aye, but it doesna matter.”
She touched his forehead. “You’re a little warm. I’ll call Ellair.”
She moved to stand up, but he reached out and caught her by the hand. “Wait. Stay with me just a wee bit longer.”
“Of course.”
She lay back down.
“Ye shouldna have come back for me,” Ian said.
“I should have never left you. I was a coward, but I came to my senses, thankfully, not too late.”
He shook his head.
“Ye should have been in yer time by now.”
She smiled. “I have good news for you, buddy. I’m staying until you get better.”
He made a movement to sit up but didn’t have the strength. Anger and fear mixed on his face. “What?”
That didn’t look good. Kate hadn’t known what to expect when she would say this, but she’d hoped it would be more than an unpleasant surprise.
“I love you, Ian,” she said. “I’m staying to make sure you recover, then I’ll go to help Mandy and Jax and prepare everything for my departure. And then I’m coming back to you—forever.”
Something like a deep shock flashed through his face. “Ye love me?”
He was glad to hear it! A smile bloomed on Kate’s face. “I love you. So much.”
But his jaw tensed, his mouth curving downward. “Nae. Nae, Katie. Ye dinna love me. Ye canna love me.”
“Don’t tell me what I can or cannot do,” Kate said playfully. “That’s how I feel.”
He turned and looked at the ceiling. “Ye’re wrong. Ye canna stay with me forever. Ye must leave. I told ye, ye’re a burden—”
She shook her head and sat up on the bed, anger burning in her veins. “No, I’m not a burden. I just saved your life, buddy. That’s not a burden. Saying I’m a burden is a load of crap, and you know it.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, then turned to her, resolve in his eyes.
“I canna be with ye, Kate.”
She almost flinched at those words. They were like needles driven under her skin.
“And why not now?” she asked.
“Look at me. I’m a killer. A slave. A tool in the hands of powerful men.”
He sounded as if he’d swallowed a toad and it was still stuck in his throat.
