Hostage to Fortuna

as shewas. Fortunately, we were on the Via Agrippa, so mud was not anissue, and I took the time to get to know this person who I wasjust beginning to think of as my woman, which proved to besomething of a challenge. It was not because she was notforthcoming; she readily answered my questions, but as I was alsolearning, she is extremely curious, which meant that for everyquestion I asked, she would begin to provide an answer, then seesomething that intrigued her, whereupon she would stop to ask aquestion of her own. Frankly, while it was entertaining, it wasalso mildly exhausting trying to keep up with her turn of mind, andI loved every moment. We turned south at Duroctorum, and by thefifth day, the weather had cleared. It was still cool during theday, cold after dark, and while we tried to sleep under a roofevery night, it was not always possible, but again, Bronwen made nocomplaints, and neither of us were cold during the night, which isall I will say about it.

I suppose it was inevitable that the closerwe got to Arelate, the more tension I began to feel, and despite mybest intentions, I know that the others had to suffer for it.Although I had taken Alex’s words to heart, I could not deny thesmall voice inside my head whispering to me that my family hadevery right to resent me, but of all of them, I was most concernedwith Miriam. During our short time together, I had come to loveher, almost immediately understanding why she is the familyfavorite, and I was afraid that she would be most devastatedbecause of Manius and Atia, and what losing everything would meanfor them. She had assured me that her husband Servius provided forher and their children very well, yet it still worried me. Isuppose that, when all was said and done, I found having a familyto be quite exhausting in many ways. Whether it was because of mytension or because Bronwen was beginning to suffer fromhomesickness and the anxiety of meeting these strangers for whom Iwas risking not just my career, but possibly my life, her moodmirrored mine. Unlike me, she did not inflict that mood on the restof us, just becoming quiet, although she still looked at everythingaround us, especially when we passed other travelers. However, whenI tried to find out what was bothering her, she insisted that I wasimagining things, but I think she knew I was not fooled.

When the city walls first came in sight, weactually stopped, and I reached out with my hand, which she took,but then she shook me to my core by asking anxiously, “Do you thinkyour family will like me?”

It was such an unexpected, and frankly,silly question in my view that I burst out laughing, which did notseem to please her, forcing me to explain, “I’m more worried thatthey’ll love you so much they’ll want to stab me for taking you toAlexandria.”

“Really?” I could tell she wasskeptical, but she was also pleased, and I assured her by tellingher, “I swear on Jupiter’s black stone.”

Which, of course, then engendered aconversation as she frowned and replied, “I know that Jupiter isone of your gods. But what is this black stone? And,” she asked ina more demanding tone, “what does it mean when you swear byit?”

Oh, Gnaeus, you fool, I groaned, justmanaging to keep it silent. Aloud, I tried to explain about JupiterOptimus Maximus, but then Alex interrupted, and only I saw the evilgrin on his face as he said, “Remember Jupiter Sosimenes, JupiterCapitolinus, Jupiter Laterius, Jupiter Terminalis, and JupiterStator, not just Jupiter Optimus Maximus. And those,” he assuredBronwen, “are just off the top of my head.”

“There are more of these Jupitergods?” she asked curiously, and he nodded as he assured herenthusiastically, “Oh, manymore!”

I shot him a sour look, muttering, “One at atime.”

This did serve to occupy enough of thetime so that, to my surprise at least, it brought us up hard to thenorthern gates of Arelate. While it was not as quickly as I wouldhave liked, we had still made the journey in just under ten daysfrom Gesoriacum, two days before the Kalends of November. It wasnot that surprising that our party was stopped, but it was amomentary delay, although I do not know whether it was me snappingat them as if they were raw tironesor Alex opening the wax tablet showing them Saloninus’orders, of which they only recognized the title of Quartus PilusPrior of the 1^st Legion. WhichI will confess, did not sit well with me. I trusted Saloninusimplicitly, and I still do; most importantly, he showed himself tobe worthy of that trust, but through no fault of his own, itreminded me of my own precarious status. What mattered, however,was that we were allowed inside the gates. Afterward, I talked toAlex, who told me that he had experienced the same sensation whenhe had entered the city. I was so preoccupied that I did not evenglance around, but I did take slight consolation in how some of thecity dwellers, who were going on about their business, stoppedsuddenly to gape at me, yet another reminder of how much a Pullussticks out. We pulled up at the villa, and Alex rang the bell.Before a count of twenty, the little eyehole opened, and I saw aneye widen before there was the clatter of a bar being lifted. I didnot recognize the servant, and Alex quietly explained that he wasthe husband of the cook, because there had been nobody to replaceChickpea, and even now, a bit more than a year later, I felt thestir of anger at the freedman’s fate, one that he did not deserve.Once we were within the walls, I pulled Marcellus aside.

“I might have more work for you ifyou’re interested,” I told him, but it was the manner in which heshrugged his shoulders that told me he had been expectingit.

“I’m available. But,” he jerked hishead, “what about the others? Are you talking about them aswell?”

“I haven’t decided,” I told him, notin complete honesty. More to forestall the direction of theconversation,