"Damn it," I muttered under my breath, trying to get the jumble of emotions going through me to settle down and form cohesive thoughts. If I didn't get myself under control soon, I was likely to say or do something that I would very much regret. "Take the day off," I said instead, knowing it was going to take me a while to process everything going on. "Come back in tomorrow and we'll discuss this again. If you still feel the same way....." I took a deep breath and let the sentence hang, not sure what I would do if she still wanted to quit.
Jade didn't say anything at first. Finally, I saw her reflection nodding. "Fine," she said at last, then turned and walked out of the office, head held high.
I turned to watch her go, watched her take her things, then head toward the elevator. Hands clenched, I fought back the urge to chase after her and drag her back into the office. To what purpose, I wasn't sure. I was angry with her, that much was obvious, but as I watched her leave, I realized it was more than just anger.
Other emotions were bottled up inside me, and I couldn't quite figure out what they were at first.
I spent most of the day at my desk, trying desperately to focus on the paperwork, but all I could do was think about Jade and try to process everything. Never before had I been this conflicted over something, someone. At first, I assumed it was because losing Jade meant losing one of my best employees.
It didn't take me long to figure out it was more than that. When I'd stood there, right in front of her, looking down into her eyes, there had been something there between us. Something had made my heart rate spike, even more, had nearly made me lose my grip on myself. When I'd looked at her in those moments, it wasn't just another employee I'd been looking at.
Jade was something else, something I wasn't sure I wanted to admit to myself.
That just made everything even worse. Deep down, I knew what those feelings were, and I hated myself for having them. Jade was supposed to be my employee. There was no way I should have been thinking about her as anything more or less. And yet, looking into her eyes...
It had lit a fire inside me, a fire I didn't want to see extinguished.
How had I never noticed that about her before? Have had I never noticed my reaction to the woman?
I'd always been fond of her. She was the best damn secretary I'd ever had. She went well beyond the normal role of a secretary too, handling things I'd have normally passed along to one of the other, lower level, executives. What CEO wouldn't cherish a secretary that could basically run the company on her own?
But lately, I'd grown to enjoy having her around. She was smart and was great at helping me figure out the problems I was stuck with. She never once complained about staying late to help me with projects. And while she was obviously attractive, she'd never once tried to throw herself at me like so many others before her. Even when we were alone, she was always friendly but professional.
Had I not been? I wondered. Closing my eyes, I tried to run my mind through every interaction I'd had with her in the last couple of weeks. Had that been why she wanted to quit out of the blue like that?
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't think of any instance where I'd been anything less than professional with her. I'd always strived for my employees to remain professional in their interactions and had always tried to do the same in mine. I'd fired people countless times for crossing the line with a coworker, and if I'd done that myself, I wasn't sure what I'd do to make amends to Jade.
By the time the sun had started to set, I'd barely made a dent in the paperwork that was slowly becoming a mountain. There was no way I was going to be able to focus on it, not until I'd talked with Jade and we'd straightened things out.
All thoughts about Nick's wedding were pushed out of my mind. I'd wanted to bring Jade along because I'd thought she would be able to remain professional on the trip, but now I wasn't sure that was such a good idea. Even if Jade changed her mind and stayed, would that be pushing the envelope too much to invite her to something so personal? There was no way the trip could even be considered a business function in the slightest.
And yet, I still wanted her there. I wanted to have Jade by my side as I fought against my mother's over the top parenting. I wanted her to help me get through the chaos I called a family. Who else would be strong enough to withstand them and not run away screaming? I couldn't think of any other woman I was close enough with that would be up to the challenge.
I could have easily hired a woman to come along with me, but I didn't like that idea. Hiring a woman for a night at a corporate party was one thing. Bringing along an escort to a family function was another matter altogether. Even though I'd never once slept with any of the escorts I'd hired, I still loathed bringing one to Nick's wedding. Somehow, the idea of being constantly bombarded with every single woman my mother knew seemed like a better prospect.
Going with Jade was the
