The sun was high in the sky by the time we made it to the stream, tethering the horses to let them graze and drink as they saw fit but not letting them wander off. Just as I'd suspected, the stream was frigid, but that didn't stop Holly from stripping off her riding clothes and running into it, giggling as only a kid can.
The rest of us stood well outside of splashing range, shaking our heads and laughing at her youthful exuberance. I'd have killed to be able to go back to that age, to be so young and carefree again. Back then, nothing had really mattered. The biggest problem I'd had at her age was wondering which boys at school had a crush on me.
Though, now that I thought about it, my problems hadn't changed much. It'd just gotten more complicated since said boy was actually my husband. And yet, I still wasn't sure he liked me in that way.
Holly was right. Boys are stupid, I decided, as I sat down with my back against a tree. Maybe I should take Nick up on that offer of a divorce, then go off somewhere and become a hermit. I could get a bunch of cats and become a crazy old cat lady. I'd never have to worry about boy troubles then, since no guy would want to be caught within a mile of me.
"What's on your mind?" Aspen asked as he sat down on my left. Emma sat, on my right side, all three of us monitoring Holly from a distance. The stream wasn't deep, but we weren't going to take any chances.
I shrugged, still not wanting to talk about it. I wanted to say I'd gotten it all out of my system earlier when I'd cried in Emma's arms, but I knew that wasn't true. If I started down that path again, it would all come flooding back.
"Bottling it all up isn't gonna help," Aspen said, nudging me with his shoulder.
That was the thing I hated most about Aspen. He was hard-headed and persistent, but he was usually right, too. I wanted to keep it all contained inside me, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew that wouldn't do any good. It would just stew up inside me, and when I finally did let it all out, it'd be ten times worse.
So I gave Aspen the abridged version of what happened last night, skipping the raunchy details and keeping my voice low so Holly wouldn't overhear. It all came out in a rush, a long jumble of words. I was breathless by the time I'd finished and had to wipe tears from my eyes. At least I didn't have a complete breakdown this time.
Aspen was quiet for a moment as he mulled everything over. I waited for his judgement. If he'd come looking for me, no doubt Nick had filled him in on everything. But it never came. He just turned and looked at me, his eyes sad. "Have you tried talking to him?"
I shook my head. What could I possibly say to Nick that would fix things? I could promise it would never happen again, but would I be able to keep myself to that? I still felt that pang of attraction toward him even now. Could I stay married to him, knowing we'd never be able to take our relationship to that level?
"Look, I know my brother. He's a stubborn ass a lot of times and he sucks at opening up to people. But I can't imagine he's mad at you for what happened last night. It's not like you beat him over the head, tied him to the bed, and had your way with him. He's a grown man and is more than capable of putting a stop to something if he's not into it."
"Then why'd he leave last night? And why didn't he come back?" I wanted to believe Aspen, but all the evidence in front of my said otherwise. If Nick had been into it last night, he wouldn't have left. And he would have come back, rather than staying out all night.
Aspen shrugged. "I don't know. He's my brother, but it's not like I can read his mind all the time. Maybe you should go home and talk to him though, figure all of this out. I know he still loves you."
I snorted, turning my gaze back to Holly. If he loved me, he'd done a shitty job of showing it.
"Or maybe you should go out tonight, get your mind off everything and have a little fun." Emma smiled at me, trying to be reassuring. There was a twinkle in her eyes though, one I should've been suspicious. "Maybe a night out on the town will make Nick jealous enough to get his head out of his ass."
"Because that's not gonna backfire...." Aspen muttered under his breath.
But I liked Emma's idea. It was a good way to discover if Nick cared about me or if our marriage was just all for show. If he wasn't upset about last night, if he loved me, he wouldn't want me out hitting the clubs, dancing with other guys.
Not that I'd actually do that, though. I did love Nick, and I didn't want to go out and spend the night being groped by horny dudes. That didn't mean I couldn't let him think that's what I would do though. I could send him a text, maybe include a picture or two, and see how he reacted. But I wouldn't go out. I'd just stay at the house with the girls, maybe watch some movies or something.
"Do you still have that sexy black dress?" I asked, grinning at Emma.
Emma nodded eagerly while Aspen just shook his head.
10
Nick
"She's with Emma," was all the text from Aspen had said. It wasn't much, but at least it kept my heart from wanting to explode out of my chest. Being with Emma meant she
