Gabbie shook her head. "He left. He wanted to go back to his place and enjoy being a bachelor for a while."
I nodded. Aspen's marriage had been a clusterfuck and a half. His wife wasn't the spawn of Satan like he sometimes made her out to be, but she definitely wasn't the one for him. His marriage hadn't been much different than ours, but the two of them hadn't gotten along like Gabbie and I had. The two of us were friends. Those two were more like acquaintances.
"Then why don't you go laid down with a book? You're always saying how you don't have nearly enough time to read." It was a lame excuse, but it was all I could think of. I dedicated the rest of my brain power to keeping my cock from coming to life.
Instead of walking away, Gabbie moved to stand directly behind me. She brought both hands to my shoulders and kneaded the muscles there. If I hadn't already been focusing on keeping myself in control, I wouldn't have been able to keep the moans from slipping out. God, her hands were heavenly.
"Are you sure there isn't anything I can do for you?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, just inches away from my ear. She had to be standing on her toes to reach, but I had my eyes squeezed shut, refusing to look at her. I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact. Otherwise, I wasn't sure I could keep myself from doing something stupid.
I nodded, taking slow, deep breaths. The roam was filled with steam now. I could feel the moisture clinging to my skin. Could this situation get any more erotic? God, how could Gabbie be so oblivious to the tension in the air? But I was glad she was. Otherwise.... I shuddered thinking about where things might go. "I'm just gonna get a shower, then call it a night. Don't let me ruin your night though. You go relax. Have another glass of wine if you'd like. Just because I had a shitty day doesn't mean it should mess up your night."
"Helping you won't ruin my night," Gabbie insisted. Her hands continued to work their way down my body far better than any professional masseuse ever could.
God, could she sound any more sensual when she spoke? Her voice alone was enough to send shivers down my body. Combined with her firm yet gentle caressing, it was a miracle I hadn't already shot my load all over the counter. How much longer could I hold myself back?
I turned and faced Gabbie, smiling at her, hoping she couldn't see the strain I was under. I needed to get away from her, but I didn't want her to think she was the problem. I was the problem, not her. I was the one having issues. She was just trying to be nice, be helpful. I didn't deserve a woman like her as my wife.
"I appreciate it." I took her hands in mine, then brought them to my lips for a gentle kiss. "But I just need some time alone to decompress."
As much as I wanted to just pull her into the shower with me, I couldn't do it. It wouldn't be fair for her. Nor would I ever be able to forgive myself for what I would do to her in the shower.
Gabbie let out a sigh, her shoulders dropping. She looked up into my eyes, her mouth partially open, like she wanted to say something else. For a long moment, she stood there quietly. Finally, she nodded. Without another word, she turned and fled from the room.
When the door closed behind her, I slumped against the counter. The granite was cool against my skin, sending goosebumps across my body.
How much longer could we keep up the charade of a marriage? How much longer would I be able to avoid doing something untoward? Gabbie was a friend, someone I loved dearly. I couldn't bear the thought of hurting her. And yet, each time I looked at her, all I could think about were the things I wanted to do with her, all the sordid, forbidden things. Things I knew she would never consent to, not willingly anyway.
If only she'd listened when I'd talked to her about getting a divorce. We'd stayed together long enough. She could could move on with her life, to find someone who could properly love her, someone she could love back. But she'd balked at the suggestion and somehow had talked me into renewing our vows to each other.
God, how many nights had I laid awake, dreading that moment? Not that I didn't want to stay married to Gabbie. Quite the opposite. I wanted more than just this charade of a marriage. I wanted to take her to bed, wanted to love her physically and emotionally. But I couldn't. Gabbie hadn't had much of a choice in marrying me. She'd done it because she'd had to if she wanted what was rightfully hers.
It wasn't fair for her if I made our relationship physical.
That was a line I just couldn't cross.
3
Gabbie
"Gabbie!" Holly shouted as she came running toward me. That was all the warning I had to brace myself as the not-so-little girl flung herself into my arms. She squealed and giggled as I scooped her up into the air and spun her around. It was our little tradition, ever since Holly was just a little toddler. She wasn't a toddler anymore, and it was getting harder and harder to perform our ritual.
When I set her back on the ground, I grinned at her, looking her up and down. "Gosh, you're getting so big!"
Holly beamed at me. She was growing up, but she was still a little girl
