Willow sits beside me quietly, one elbow propped on the bar, her head leaning on that hand. She shifts on her stool, then rests both feet on the bottom rung of mine. She wears a smug little grin, and I know she’s trying her damnedest not to laugh at my tirade. I’m so glad I can amuse her like this. She glances up as the bartender approaches, holding up two fingers to request another round of beer.
Finally, she can’t resist any longer. “I have got to meet this chick. She has you all fucked in the head.” She snorts with laughter at the alarmed look on my face. “I’m kidding. But not. Meaning, I’d love to meet her, but I’m not going to force you to introduce me. She must be some woman to have my cautious, calm Sawyer all riled up like this.” She punches me lightly in the arm before tilting her beer to her lips again.
My brows draw together and I grumble, “Not a chance you get to meet her yet. You’d blurt out whatever was on your mind the second you were introduced.”
Her mouth drops open in feigned shock. “Would not.” She smirks. “Well, okay, maybe I would. But only to tell her what a great guy you are and how she should lock you down while she can.” She laughs. “And what are you afraid that I’ll say? Do you think I’d tell her that you can’t stop thinking about her? That you’ve been moody as hell? Or maybe that you jerk off in the shower to thoughts of her?”
I raise one brow at that last one and silently shake my head at her.
“What? You’ve spent a lot of time in the shower lately …” She smirks hard at me.
She’s not necessarily wrong about any of her points or assumptions, but the stern look that crosses my face is enough to make her realize I’m being serious. “You’re right. I don’t ever stop thinking about her. Not at school, not at night, not at all.”
“So, what the hell is the hold up, then, Sawyer? You haven’t been so affected by a woman in a long time. Hell, maybe ever. I don’t remember you acting like this about Tara or any other girl.”
“I can’t afford to fuck this up. She’s my mentor. At the very least, pursuing her would probably be frowned upon.”
“And at worst?”
“She could be reprimanded or maybe even lose her job. Hell, I don’t know how it works.”
“What about your future career? I think it’s amusing that you are more concerned for her career than yours. Telling, Sawyer. Very telling.”
I accept the fresh beer from the bartender and take a deep pull from the bottle. With a sigh, I meet Willow’s eyes again. “Did I tell you neither of us has brought up that night when we saw each other here? I almost did that first day, but then thought better of it. I don’t know if it means anything that she hasn’t said something or not.”
“You want my take?”
I nod. “Always.”
For as much as Willow pushes my buttons, she’s a good friend to me and she knows me better than anyone else does. She’d never intentionally do anything to hurt me, no matter how much fun she has spouting off at the mouth.
“I’m pretty sure she’s got to be more worried about the whole situation than you are.”
“I know she is. She’s avoiding me like the damn plague.”
Willow holds up a hand between us, palm out. “Think about it, though. She’s in a position of power. Thrice over.” She stops to sip on her beer.
“What do you mean, ‘thrice over’?” Who even says thrice? Only Willow.
“See if you follow me. First, she’s responsible for you. She has definite power there. She has to fill out reports about your progress, and she turns them in to your advisor, right? She holds your future in her hands. Things go south, it could be horribly messy.”
I nod. “I’m following so far.”
“Second, she’s a bit older than you.”
“Yeah, but—”
“But nothing. You’re technically still in college and for that reason, it seems odd to people, even if you are only, what? Not even two years apart in age? You have that baby face working against you. You’ll have your fair share of people thinking she probably shouldn’t be robbing your cradle—especially when you combine the assumed age difference with your work relationship.”
I roll my eyes. “Okay. I still don’t think the age difference is that big a deal, but whatever. Third?”
“She’d be in a relationship with you … and my guess is you are a different kind of guy than she probably is used to dating.”
I frown. “Now you’ve lost me.”
“To be fair, she probably hasn’t figured this one out yet because she doesn’t know you well. I’ve been your friend long enough to know what you’re like when you’re with someone. Would you agree?”
“Yep. And you’re nosy as hell, so you know things about me I don’t tell anyone else. Go on.”
“Okay, then. Here’s what I see—you’re the kind of guy who is always going to listen to what she wants and put her first. And if she ever said it was a no-go for whatever reason, you would respect her decision. You wouldn’t be happy about it … but you wouldn’t attempt to push her if you thought she was hesitant. You’d put her in the driver’s seat of a relationship every
