I’m in so much trouble. I shouldn’t feel this way. The power imbalance is just too messy. And I don’t even know what would happen if we acted on the electricity sizzling between us. Would I find out Sawyer is just like all the other guys I fall for? My instinct is that he’s not, but there’s only one way to find out if I’m right … and that could cause all sorts of problems for us here at school.
Somehow, I make it through his class and then mine. Back in the workroom during our lunch period, I hurry over to Piper. “Would you come with me, please?” The question may have come out sounding more like a desperate plea, but I don’t care. I’m beyond embarrassment at this point.
Piper sees the panicked look on my face and doesn’t hesitate or ask questions; she just leaves her lunch on her desk and follows me.
When we get to the ladies’ room, I bend over quickly to check under the stalls for feet, and seeing none, I flip the lock behind us.
Piper’s gaze flits quickly over my features as she attempts to assess what degree of crisis I’m having. “What’s wrong? You’re kind of pale and acting weird, and that’s totally not like you.”
“I need someone with a level-head.” I grit my teeth. “I’m worried. I feel like I’m—” I take a deep breath that ends up sputtering back out. “I’m really attracted to Sawyer, and it’s causing some issues.”
My breathing is so ragged Piper puts a hand to my arm and squeezes. “Breathe, Hadleigh. In through your nose, out through your mouth.”
I nod and try my best to calm down.
After another few seconds, Piper pats my arm and drops her hand. “Okay, so tell me more about it. I thought that’s what you might be dragging me in here for.”
My eyes dart to hers. “Is it that obvious?”
She throws up her hands with a shrug. “We talked about him at the book club meeting, so it was obvious to me, yes.”
“I know. But that was before I really got to know him. At that point it was just Oh my God, I have to work with the hot guy I saw at the bar.”
“And?”
“And now I’m kind of catching feelings for him, too, when I know I shouldn’t.”
“And why do you like him?” She scans my panicked eyes. I’m sure she’s trying to figure out if she needs to call in reinforcements to help her with my dilemma. As much as I love my girls, I don’t know if I could handle five varying opinions right now.
“He’s not like the guys I usually date. He’s really smart and sweet and funny.”
Piper smirks. “He’s definitely not like Ed, then.”
I give a quick shake of my head. “Sawyer would never do the things Ed’s done. He’s the kind of person I think I could trust, if I let myself. I can’t help but wonder a little bit if I’m worthy of him.”
She bites her lip. “Hadleigh, you don’t give yourself enough credit. Why wouldn’t he want to be with you? I mean, setting aside all the work crap.”
My gaze drifts away from hers to the floor. “I don’t know, Piper.” I am not ready to tell everyone what an idiot I was to stay with Ed as long as I did … or what Ed is holding over my head, literally walking around with it on his damn phone every day right here at school.
She purses her lips. “Well, I can tell there’s something you’re worried about, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But maybe it’s time for you and Sawyer to sit down and talk things out. Nothing has happened between you yet, has it?”
I feel like a bone is wedged in my throat. “No. Not really.”
“Not really?” She raises an eyebrow at me. “What does that mean?”
“We came close to locking lips last week. Right in the workroom. But we stopped ourselves before it actually happened. I think it freaked both of us out.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widen. “Oh. Time for a sit-down, then. Sooner, rather than later.” She assesses my expression and body language with care. “You’re more of a mess than I’ve ever seen you.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“It’s only said out of love for you. Seriously. You two need to talk.”
“But what will everyone say if I decide I want to see what happens with him? When I brought it up at the coffee shop, everyone thought it was such a bad idea.”
“Don’t worry about that. That was before they knew you had feelings involved. You come first. Be cautious and use your brain, but do what makes you happy.”
With an uncomfortable laugh, I ask, “And if it’s Sawyer who makes me happy, do I do him?”
Piper snorts. “There’s the Hadleigh I know and love. Girl, that’s something only the two of you can answer.”
Chapter 13
Sawyer
I’m definitely curious to know what went down when Hadleigh grabbed Piper in the middle of lunch. They’d disappeared for a full twenty minutes and hadn’t returned until it was time for our next class to begin. She’d seemed flustered. I imagine that perhaps what almost happened last week between us is getting to her, but I don’t know how to help her because I feel the same way.
On one hand, I feel badly that I almost let that happen, but on the other, fuck—I’d wanted to taste her, hold her in my arms, inhale the scent of her skin. The more I’m around her, the more I want to say screw everything. Screw what people will think or say about us. I don’t care.
In an attempt to put her out of my head, I settle in at the desk in the workroom to help Hadleigh grade a test we’d administered earlier in the day.
