“Everything is good. It was really, really good.” With that, I slip out the door and shut it firmly behind me. I can imagine the internal squealing she’s doing right now. Everyone should have a cheerleader like Willow in their life. Someone who will be there whether you are up or down. I’ve been down for so long, I’m sure that this win with Hadleigh feels very much like a win for Willow, too. After putting up with me through all the Tara issues and coaxing me out the other side, I probably owe her a drink. Or twelve.
My advisor, Professor McDaniel, waves me into his small office and gestures for me to have a seat in the chair across from him. “So, tell me how things are going with Ms. Beckett.” He steeples his fingers in front of him with an affable smile as he kicks back in his chair.
How are things going with Ms. Beckett? This is when it fully hits me just how far across those professional boundaries we’ve stepped. Not that I hadn’t thought about it, but now it seems pretty serious. And for once in my life, I just don’t give a damn. There’s something special between me and Hadleigh, and once we’re on the other side of this eight-week placement, the little parts of my subconscious that wonder if we ever should have started anything will calm down and leave me alone.
I bob my head, pondering what I should tell him. Professor McDaniel surely doesn’t want to hear about how just being around Hadleigh makes my dick hard. Or how soft the skin of her stomach is. Or how the sounds she makes when she comes make me want to bring her to the edge of bliss and then drown in it with her over and over again. Giving myself a mental shake, I give him the information he’s expecting, which is also one hundred-percent truth.
“She’s an amazing teacher. I’ve enjoyed watching her in the classroom and learning from her. She’s easy to get along with, really smart, and quick to share her knowledge with me. More than that, though, she’s really good with the kids, knows just how to guide them through conversations and keep them interested and engaged in the lesson. I was most nervous about how I’d handle working with students at the high school level, but I’m confident by the time I’m done with this placement, I’ll feel competent and ready.”
“That’s great to hear. I was a little concerned when we set this up because she’s not quite done with her fifth year. Usually that’s the minimum requirement we need to assign student teachers to teachers, but she came highly recommended by her department chair. She’s meeting all of your needs currently?”
I cough, a trickle of sweat sliding its way between my shoulder blades. How I’m sweating when it’s twenty-five degrees outside is beyond me. “I have zero complaints.”
Zero. I feel like I should thank this man for everything Hadleigh has become to me, but that would be … decidedly inappropriate.
He claps his hands together once and stands. “Great. Then we’re done here for now. I’ll see you in another two weeks, and we’ll talk a little more in depth about your experience at NHS.”
“Sounds good, sir.”
As I leave, I pull out my phone to shoot Hadleigh a quick text to let her know how the meeting had gone.
Me: Hey. Just got done with McDaniel.
Me: He asked me if you were meeting my needs. I refrained from saying the first thing that came to my mind. :)
Me: But just so you know, you are everything I need.
I frown when she doesn’t respond right away like she normally does, but maybe she’s just busy. We’d left things on a fantastic note.
Another two hours go by, and I regret sending that last text and am beating myself up all to hell about it. I know that she’s who I need. But am I who she wants?
Early Monday, Hadleigh and I are surrounded by other people in the workroom. I’m ready to pull my hair out. Why are so many people here already? All I want to do is get her alone and figure out what the hell is going on. I need a chance to find out just where I went wrong. Had I moved too quickly for her? Maybe that was the mistake. She told me herself she has trouble with relationships because of the piss-poor role model her own mother had been. When she’d finally texted me back Sunday night, it’d been curt and to the point. A definite blow to my Tara-damaged ego.
Hadleigh: That’s good. See you Monday.
That’s all she’d said. I’d bared a piece of my heart to her, told her I needed her, and she’d said, “That’s good.” I know she was responding to how my meeting went and completely ignoring the rest, but still. What. The. Hell?
She’s hardly looked at me since I arrived this morning. Fuck, I’m so frustrated. I think back to Saturday morning—her eyes had devoured me right up until the second I closed her door behind me. Nope. There’d been no mistaking the look in her eyes. We’d been on the same damn page. Yet, fast forward to today and she’s totally giving me the brush off.
Cold sweat dots my brow as I start to wonder if she’s having second thoughts. I’m so fucking frustrated right now.
Frustrated I can’t just ask her with everyone here.
Frustrated I don’t know if I somehow did something wrong.
Frustrated we’re even having an issue in the first place, seemingly out of the blue.
Because that first time with her and every time after had been everything. So. Damn. Hot. I’d wanted to claim her body. But more than that, I’d wanted to possess her heart—I want all of her, every bit she’ll let me have.
But not if she doesn’t feel the same. Not if it doesn’t mean to her
