He slid his eyes to me and grinned. “Television.” He inclined his head. “I thought we could eat the cake and watch something. I’m up for whatever you want to watch.”
“What if I want to watch the Kardashians?”
“Then I’ll watch it with you.”
Because I knew he meant what he said, all I could do was sigh. “I think we should talk.” Even I was surprised when the words escaped my mouth. I wasn’t the type of person who wanted to discuss feelings when I could hide behind a movie or sitcom. My frazzled nerves were too much to ignore, though, and I wanted to feel better.
He dropped the remote control on the table and shifted to make room next to him on the couch. “Let’s talk.”
I shrugged out of my coat and dumped it in one of the chairs at the edge of the living room. Under normal circumstances, Eliot would admonish me to hang it up before joining him, but he kept his mouth shut this time. He waited until I was settled at his left to speak.
“You’re angry because I told Jake I’m going to propose, aren’t you?”
The question wasn’t surprising. “No. Why would you think that?”
“I saw the look on your face when I told him. You have to know I wasn’t trying to be cruel ... to either of you. I’m trying to give him time to adjust.”
“He doesn’t need to adjust.” Even as I said it, I knew I wasn’t being truthful. Jake was probably home right now obsessing about this most recent development. “We haven’t been together for a very long time.”
“I know that.” His fingers danced over my shoulder, not stopping until he reached my hair, where he proceeded to slip a strand behind my ear to better study my profile. “He still loves you.”
“He’s with Lauren. They seem really happy together. That’s what I want for him. To be happy, I mean. He doesn’t love me. There’s no reason to be jealous.”
Rather than deny the emotion, he snickered. “There was a time I would’ve been upset about what went down tonight.”
“Nothing went down.”
“Oh, baby, something went down.” He moved his hand down my arm and linked his fingers with mine. It was a simple and yet breathtakingly intimate gesture. “When we first got together, I was convinced you were using me as a distraction because you couldn’t face your feelings for him.”
I leaned back and stared up at the ceiling, exasperated. “Eliot.”
“I’m not finished.” His smile was fleeting, but genuine. “I told myself that we weren’t going to last more than a few weeks. I found you amusing enough that I wanted to enjoy those few weeks. After that, when we didn’t fall apart, I told myself it would only be a few months.
“At a certain point, I realized I was in love with you,” he continued. “I don’t even know how it happened. That’s when I started studying your relationship with Jake for signs of what was to come.”
“We’ve been over this,” I argued. Sometimes it felt as if we’d been over it so many times that it had become the broken record of my life. “Jake is my friend. Nothing more. You don’t have anything to worry about. If that’s why you’re planning to do the thing you’re going to do ....”
He waited, and when I didn’t continue, he barked out a laugh. “You’re so funny.” He leaned in and gave me a light kiss. “I’m not going to propose because of Jake. I’m over it. I understand your relationship with him now, probably better than the both of you do.”
Getting huffy probably wasn’t the way to deal with this, but I couldn’t stop myself. “Oh, yeah? Are you a Jedi master now or something?”
“I know all and see all.”
“If you say so.” I wanted to redirect the conversation, but apparently, he had no intention of allowing that.
“He was your first love and you can’t let him go,” Eliot offered. “It’s not a bad thing,” he added when I opened my mouth to argue. “It’s not that you’re in love with him. You might’ve flirted with that idea at the very beginning of our relationship, but your world shifted just like mine did.
“He’s one of your best friends, and you’re always going to have a connection to him. That’s okay, Avery. I don’t want to keep you two apart. I know that he’s not a threat. Actually, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that the only thing that’s a threat to us is your mouth.”
My eyebrows hopped. “Excuse me? My mouth has gotten us out of more trouble than your muscles.”
“You keep telling yourself that.”
“It’s true.”
His smile widened. “I love you. I know you love me. This life we’ve built together will only get better. I didn’t tell Jake I was going to propose to upset him, though I think it did.”
Obviously I wasn’t the only one who had seen the horrified look on Jake’s face. “I think he was surprised more than anything.”
“Yeah, and I kind of wish I’d told him when it was just the two of us. I’m not sure having you there helped. I know having Lauren there didn’t help. But I wanted him to know so he has time to adjust.”
“Adjust to what?” My frustration bubbled up. “He doesn’t love me, no matter what you think.”
“He does. You’re his first love. What you and I have is amazing, it’s beyond all I ever hoped for. He still loved you first, and that might gall a little bit, but it’s understandable. You guys built a bond that was based on more than romantic interest. You were friends first. That’s not going away.”
I lifted my free hand and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I don’t like this, Eliot.”
“Hurting Jake? I don’t like it either. He’ll get over it eventually. He’s a good man, and he’s going to continue to be a great friend.”
“Not that.”
“Then what?”
“This.” I gestured between the two of us. “We’re on
