He smirked. “I think you’re saying you’ve missed me.”
“I have.”
“You’re the one acting weird. You can put a stop to this whenever you want.”
“I can’t. I’m afraid to allow you to get too mushy because then you’ll do it.”
“Do what?”
I hated how smug he looked. “You know what, and making fun of me isn’t very encouraging. You always say you want me to open up to you. I can’t if I’m afraid.”
He sobered. “That’s a good point. But the thing you’re frightened of is something you’ve created in your head.”
“Um, no. You put it in my head.” I jabbed his chest. “You’re the one who said you were going to propose.”
“I am. Do you want to know why?”
“Because you want to drive me insane.”
He chuckled. “Because I love you.”
“You loved me before you brought up the M-word.”
“I’m going to love you forever.”
I pressed my eyes shut. The fact that he could say something so romantic — and mean it — had my heart threatening to convulse.
“You’re afraid that marriage will mean you’re no longer Avery Shaw,” he continued. “You think that somehow putting a ring on your finger means you’ll lose autonomy, that you’ll be Mrs. Eliot Kane.”
My eyes popped open. “That’s never going to happen.”
He laughed so hard he almost choked.
“I mean it,” I warned. “I’m Avery Shaw.”
“And you always will be,” he reassured me when he recovered. “I don’t want you to be anything other than who you already are. If you could occasionally check your mouth at the door, that would be a welcome development, but I don’t expect miracles.”
I glowered at him and he sobered.
“It’s not about you being my wife,” he offered. “I mean ... I think I might get a little thrill telling people Avery Shaw is my wife. It’s about me being your husband. I want to pledge myself to you forever. I want to be an official part of the team.
“In the grand scheme of things, almost nothing will change,” he continued. “I know you still don’t want kids, and I’m fine with that. I just want to make a promise to each other ... and maybe get a tax break here and there.”
I chewed my bottom lip.
“It’s okay if you’re still not ready,” he cajoled in a soft voice. “I know you’ll get there eventually. We’re trying to ensure happily ever after here. I need you to open your heart to the possibility.”
“And you don’t think I have opened my heart to you?” I prodded. “If you believe that, why do you even want to be around me?”
“I believe you’ve opened your heart to me,” he countered quickly. “I simply want to completely join our lives. I believe you want that too.”
“I thought we already had joined our lives.” I didn’t want to come across as pouty, but that’s how I felt. “If this isn’t going to be any different, then why are you trying to give me an aneurysm?”
“Because I want what I want.” He slid his arm around my waist and tugged me to him. “I told myself I was going to wait — years if necessary — until you were ready. But I’m ready now. I want you to be my forever. You’ll come to grips with it.”
“Eliot ....”
“Avery.” He kissed my forehead and grabbed the remote. “What do you want to watch?”
“Friday the 13th. I feel like only a masked killer can lift my mood.”
He didn’t miss a beat. “Which one do you want? I’m guessing two or six.”
I narrowed my eyes. He thought he knew everything. “Seven.”
“Oh, the one with the telekinetic girl. Good choice.” He kept his arm around me and started searching for the movie. “I think a little horror before bed will do us good.”
He would think that. “I’m still freaking out about this. You know that, right?”
“Yup.”
“I might never be ready.”
His smile turned smug. “You’ll be ready a lot sooner than you think.”
I really hoped that wasn’t true.
ELIOT FELL ASLEEP BEFORE THE end of the movie. I didn’t disturb him, being careful to utilize small movements when I retrieved my iPad from the coffee table. Rocky was sprawled between his legs, and the two of them lightly snored in tandem.
I took advantage of the quiet to search for the name Beau Burton. When Jake inadvertently let it slip, it triggered something in my memory. I couldn’t exactly remember from where. The name was distinctive enough to have me looking ... and it didn’t take long to find it.
“Holy crap!”
Next to me, Eliot stirred. His eyes were cloudy when they opened and focused on the tablet. “Is the movie over?”
I nodded. “You missed your favorite part.”
“It’s not as if we won’t watch it another hundred times.” He rubbed his cheek against mine. “Ready for bed?”
“Just a second.”
“I’ll give you a bunch of seconds in bed,” he promised.
“Oh, now you’re awake.” I used my fingers to enlarge the news article on my screen. The byline belonged to Marvin, and now I knew why I remembered Beau Burton. “This is one of the dead guys.”
“Hmm?” Eliot’s lips were warm on my neck.
“The dead guys in the Santa suits. Jake mentioned his name at dinner.”
Eliot let loose a long-suffering sigh and pulled away long enough to look at the tablet. “I’m trying to seduce you, Avery. I don’t care about dead Santas.”
“If you listen for five minutes, you won’t have to seduce me. I’ll willingly throw myself at you.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” He snuggled closer and focused on the article. “What am I looking at?”
“Beau Burton.”
“And Jake mentioned him at dinner?”
I nodded. “It was when he was talking about Tad. He said that he never takes responsibility
