I didn’t bother to hide my eye roll. “I thought you liked Jake.”
“He’s fine for a dirty pervert.”
My lips inadvertently quirked. “Why is Jake a pervert but Derrick’s girlfriends are ‘pretty little things with smiles that bring joy to the world?” I used the appropriate air quotes as I sneered.
Grandpa’s grin was pronounced. “I said that once, like a year ago, and your bottom is still chafed over it. I think that says a little something about you.”
“No, I think it says something about you.” I was wound up now and there was no backing down. “I don’t like that Derrick’s girlfriends — who are all airheads and cheerleaders, by the way — get a free pass even though they’re only around a month before he dumps them, while Jake has been around for almost two years and you treat him like dirt.”
“I don’t treat Jake like dirt.” Grandpa shoved yet another huge spoonful of onion chili in his mouth and then proceeded to talk while chewing. “I think he’s a fine boy, who might or might not be gay.”
“He’s not gay. Trust me.”
“Ha!” Grandpa poked his finger so close to my face he almost caught my nostril. “That’s why I don’t like him. He’s a dirty pervert.”
“Oh, geez.” I pressed the heel of my hand to my forehead. “I think you just like being sexist. You believe Derrick can do no wrong because he’s the first-born boy.” Even though I had a close relationship with my grandfather, a colorful and loud relationship, he made it no secret that Derrick was his pride and joy. “For some reason, Derrick gets all the accolades — and I’m pretty sure it’s because he has a penis.”
I said the last word a bit louder than I meant to and Grandpa’s eyes went wide when several heads at the surrounding tables swiveled in our direction. He flashed a charming smile, the one that convinced people to keep coming to his restaurant even though he was often an opinionated ass, and then turned to me with a quelling look. “You can’t say that word in a restaurant,” he hissed.
I was amused despite myself. “What word?”
“You know what word.”
“Penis?”
He looked around again, furtive. “Shut your mouth.”
“Why can’t I say penis?” I asked a little louder this time.
“I will make sure the only thing you’re allowed to eat here is liver and onions if you’re not careful,” he warned, his eyes firing. “No more tomato macaroni soup ... or that spaghetti sauce you love so much. I can guarantee you’ll never see a slice of prime rib again.”
He would be more than happy to make me suffer if he thought he could derive some amusement from it. “I’m sorry.” I held up my hands, hoping he believed my apology — even though I was anything but sincere. “I won’t say it again.”
“That’s better.” He went back to his lunch. “Why are you hiding out here? This is your favorite time of year. The morels are out. You, Jake and Derrick usually spend hours in the woods after work hunting them.”
It was morel season, and as far as I was concerned, the only reason to venture into the woods at all was for the seasonal mushrooms. But even morel hunting couldn’t derail the Avery Shaw Thought Train. “I’m ... debating the meaning of life.”
“Good.” He shook his head. “I love it when you’re philosophical. What has you worked up today?”
I considered lying. I could tell him practically anything and he would go off on a tangent. In truth, I was struggling. I had very few other people I could talk to about my feelings. Sure, Derrick and I were tight, but my cousin was the gossipy sort, and a friend of Jake’s.
“Jake’s joining the army.” I almost choked getting the words out. “He leaves at the end of the summer.”
Grandpa’s expression was difficult to read. “I heard.”
“His father thinks it’s a good idea.”
“I heard that, too.”
Jake’s father was the county sheriff, and while he’d always been good to me, I was starting to hate him because I was convinced he was determined to ruin my life. “I thought Jake would go to college like me.”
Grandpa nodded in understanding. “You thought things would continue the way they have been for the past two years.”
“I don’t know if I would put it exactly like that,” I hedged. “I thought we would have more options. He’s going to have to serve overseas most likely, maybe even in war zones.”
Sympathy tinged Grandpa’s eyes. “You’re afraid for him.”
That was true, but it was more than that. “I guess it’s more that I’m afraid for us.” I shifted my eyes to the window so I wouldn’t have to meet his steady gaze. “I never thought we would go to the same school. I mean, I guess I thought it was a possibility, but not likely.
“His father went to Michigan State University,” I continued. “East Lansing isn’t that far from Mount Pleasant. I thought we would still be able to see each other on weekends, and maybe even in the middle of the week here and there depending on class schedules.”
“And instead he enlisted,” Grandpa mused. “He’ll do his basic training in another state.”
“And then he’ll likely be shipped overseas,” I said, my stomach twisting at the notion.
“Look, you know I have an opinion on everything, including this. But you won’t like what I have to say.”
I already knew that. “Tell me anyway.” I needed to hear it. The longer I internalized my fears and feelings, the more annoyed I became with life in general.
“The truth is, kid, you’re too young to be this serious about a boy.”
The same old trope. It frustrated me to no end to hear it again. “Would you say the same thing to Derrick if he had had a girlfriend
