He bobbed his head. “You’re both too young to be thinking about settling down for the long haul.”
“I didn’t say anything about settling down.”
“No?” He arched an eyebrow. “What do you think happens after a certain point when you’ve been dating someone for more than a year or so?”
“I ... don’t ... know.”
“Marriage. That’s what happens.”
My mouth dropped open. “Nobody’s talking about marriage. Don’t be an idiot.”
His smirk was back. “Kid, marriage is a natural part of life. When I was younger, it made sense to get married right out of high school. We didn’t have as many opportunities. You, however, can do whatever you want.”
“Even though I don’t have a penis?” I grumbled. I wanted to upset him as much as he’d upset me.
“It has nothing to do with that.” Grandpa was calm. “Marriage is what you do when you don’t want to do anything else.”
“Oh, that’s a sweet sentiment,” I drawled. “You should have that put on a Hallmark card.”
He ignored the sarcasm. “You have a very specific life you want to lead. You’re going to school to be a journalist. You want to be one of those ball-busting reporters I see on the news. You want to go places, set your own rules. You can’t do that if you have a husband.”
He wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t already figured out. “I’m not talking about getting married. That’s not on anybody’s mind.”
“Are you sure it’s not on Jake’s mind?”
The question caught me off guard. “Of course I’m sure.” The answer was automatic. “He’s joining the army. The last thing on his mind is marriage.”
“He’s going to be away from everything he knows. You’re the strongest anchor he has to his life here,” Grandpa pointed out. “You’re the most important thing to him. Right now, he’s the most important thing to you. Why do you think you’re sitting in here with me instead of hanging out with him?”
“Probably because I have PMS and it’s rendered me temporarily insane.”
Rather than being grossed out, which was what I intended, he chuckled. “I can always tell when you’re on the defensive, kid. You spit crudities thinking they’ll freak me out. I’m on to you. You can’t distract me when I know I’m right.”
“You always think you’re right.”
“That’s because I always am right.”
“Um ... no.”
“Name one time I was ever wrong.”
“You said the internet was a fad that wouldn’t last.”
“I haven’t been proven wrong on that.” He wagged a finger. “It hasn’t been around all that long. Just you wait.”
“Whatever.” I wasn’t in the mood to argue with him about his prognostications. “Nobody is interested in marriage. I’m not. I guarantee Jake’s not. That’s not what this is about.”
“I hope you’re right.” He shot me a rueful grin. “You’ve got big things ahead of you, kid. I know you love Jake — and it totally freaks me out because I’ve seen the way he looks at you — but you’re not ready for marriage.
“Marriage is difficult,” he continued, his expression darkening. “You must be willing to commit yourself full time to another person. All your wants and desires are subjugated because you have to take someone else’s wants and desires into consideration. And if you add kids into the mix? Honey, look out. Kids are the absolute worst.”
“Yeah, you don’t have to worry about that. I hate kids more than you do.”
“Nobody hates kids more than me.”
“You had five of them.”
“That’s your grandmother’s fault. She wanted them, and, as I believe I’ve told you, she can’t keep her hands off me when she’s in the mood.”
Now I felt sick to my stomach for a different reason. “Okay, this conversation has taken a weird turn. You don’t have to worry about me. Jake and I are not talking about marriage.”
“Keep it that way.” He was somber. “You can rule the world, just like me, if you keep your head in the game, Avery. I’m kind of curious where you’ll be in ten years. I predict you’ll be making entire towns cry with your antics. You can’t do that if you force yourself to settle before you’re ready.”
He made sense, which terrified me in a different way. “Don’t worry about me.” I offered him a forced smile. “I have no intention of getting married anytime soon. In fact, it’s likely I’ll never get married. I mean ... who would put up with me?”
His expression softened. “That right there is something to consider. Still, you’ve got a way about you, kid. I know, because you inherited it from me. Sooner or later, there’ll be some idiot willing to take you on. You have to make sure he’s the right idiot.”
“I’ll take it under advisement.”
“You do that.” He was quiet a moment, and then lowered his voice. “And you have to let Jake go for now. Not right this second. Enjoy your summer. When it’s time to make the break, you’ll know.
“I’m not saying you two won’t find your way back to one another eventually, but you’ll torture yourselves if you try to keep this going from so far away,” he continued. “I think you and Jake will be in each other’s lives forever, though the relationship might not always look the same.”
I couldn’t stop from smirking. “So, you’re saying there’s someone else out there for me? Another idiot?”
“Sadly, I think a whole mess of men will line up to let you verbally abuse them. You’re a magnet for some people.”
That, quite possibly, could’ve been the nicest thing he’d ever said to me. “I hope one of them looks like Han Solo.”
1 OnePresent Day
“You should wear this.”
My friend Erin held up a magazine and displayed what looked to be a monster straight from my nightmares. It was white, full of lace, and had a circumference bigger than one-hundred women with ’80s hair.
I felt a vein popping in my forehead and focused on my Diet Coke rather than stare at the magazine in abject horror. I knew it had been a mistake
