“Cool,” Eric said. He took the condom and started to put it on. It seemed like he was struggling with it for a minute.
“Do you need the light on?” I said as I sat up and cut my light on. I pulled the covers back and saw that the condom looked a little too tight on his penis. It didn’t look right, and I didn’t want him potentially rip it, and I end up pregnant. I wasn’t trying to have that because I was still young, and to be honest, I’m not sure if I want kids. After everything I’ve been through in my life, I don’t know if I ever see myself having kids.
“What?” Eric said with an attitude.
“I thought you might need help,” I said.
“It’s my dick. I think I know what to do with it more than you.”
“Well, you seemed like you were struggling.”
“Well, I wasn’t so cut the lights back off so we can get this over with.”
“I think this was a mistake. You can just go.” I said as I wrapped myself up with the covers. Eric was ruining this moment that was not just big for me, but us. No matter how much I cared for him, I wasn’t about to let him talk to or treat me anyway.
“What’s wrong? I thought you wanted this.”
“I thought I did too, but I’m not feeling your attitude. I want my first time to be special and loving. Not rushed with attitude. I’m good. I can hold out a little longer and eventually find someone worthy of experiencing this with me.” I expressed. Eric didn’t say anything, but just sat up and rested his back against my headboard.
“I’m sorry, Chi. I’m just nervous, and I feel like I’m not prepared. I didn’t even have my own condom, and this shit is tight on my joint. I feel embarrassed.”
“Why? This is our first time, and we don’t really know what to do.”
“Yeah, I know. I just want to be perfect for you.”
“You already are,” I said while looking into his eyes. Eric leaned over and kissed me.
“I love you, Chi.” He said, surprising me. I knew that I loved him, but I wasn’t sure if he was ready for that.
“I love you too,” I said, kissing his lips. I reached down and took the condom off then replaced it with one that was a size up. I patiently waited for Eric to put it on, and this time it was the perfect fit. And I think it was vital for us to have that little moment because my nerves were calm now. I needed that assurance from him, and he needed it from me too.
“Ready?” Eric asked again. I cut the light off, laid back in the bed, and took a deep breath.
“I’m ready,” I said while nodding my head.
12. Eric
“You good?” I asked Chianne. It’s been about five minutes since we finished and she was quiet. I was quiet too, but I wanted to make sure she was okay.
“Mhm.” She said lowly. A half-smile appeared on my face. I enjoyed my first time, but I know things were a little uncomfortable for Chianne. The pain eventually went away, but I was feeling pleasure the entire time. I always imagined how my first time would go, but I never expected it to be with Chianne. However, I’m happy that it was with her.
“Was I good?” I asked. Probably wasn’t the ideal time to ask, but I had to know.
“Typical Eric.” Chianne chuckled.
“Was I?”
“I guess. Ask me once we get used to each other’s bodies.”
“You’re right. Do you need anything? Want me to clean you up?”
“No, I’ll get up to take a shower in a minute and change the sheets. I just need a minute.
“Did you bleed a lot?”
“I don’t know yet. I’ll see when I get up.”
“So….what’s next for us?” I asked as I turned on my side to look at her.
“I already told you that I wasn’t giving my virginity away unless I was your girlfriend.”
“I know, but are we going to tell people about us or stay a secret?” I asked just as my phone started vibrating. I turned over and found my phone in my jeans on the floor. I missed the call but saw that Tiffany sent a text.
“Who was that?” Chianne asked.
“Wayne. Reminding me about my mama’s new curfew rules. I gotta head out.”
“You know you can stay the night and just leave in the morning. It’s pretty late, Eric.” She said, sounding a little sad.
“I know…,” I said then leaned back on her headboard.
“Are you staying?” Chianne said.
“Yeah.”
“How are things at home since Bre left?”
“For the most part, they’re the same, it’s just that my mother be snapping more over the littlest things.”
“Is she still mad about Bre being pregnant?”
“It’s hard to tell sometimes. During Christmas, she still had Bre’s gifts under the tree, and I caught her putting them up in the attic. However, whenever Alexis asks about Bre coming home, my mother ignores her. It’s weird.”
“She’s probably still hurt. She still needs some time to heal.”
“Yeah, I guess. Have you talked to Bre? She hasn’t called anyone, I know she keeps in contact with you.”
“She does. She’s fine...I guess. It’s just Jemar.”
“What about him?”
“I just don’t trust him...it’s just something about him.
“Like what? Is he hurting her or something?” I said, raising my voice a little.
“Shhhhh. No. I haven’t noticed anything like that. It’s just…. I don’t think he’s who he pretends to be. He just seems sneaky, but I know Bre. She’s strong, and I know she’ll say something if something
