She looked so eager and sure of herself I couldn’t bring myself to tell her no. I still thought it was a shitty idea, though.
“Okay. I’ll think about it, but I want you to think about something, too.”
“Okay.” She straightened her shoulders, eyes at attention, but her fingers were twisting with excitement.
“I want you to consider why you would rather sneak around like a bad kid than stand up to your dad.”
She rolled her eyes. “That’s easy. Because he’s scary and still controls the vast majority of my life.”
“Does he? Why?”
She glared at me and I raised my hands. “All right, all right. I’ll back off. Just thought it might be something you’d want to look at.”
She shook her head. “Thinking hasn’t gotten me very far, Kash. I’m working on instinct right now, and my gut says that this is the safest way to get what we want right now. Maybe later—” she drifted for a moment, her expression darkening in a way I couldn’t really interpret, then shook her head. “—We’ll figure it out. Later.”
I held her hand and rolled her fingers under my thumb. “I still think it’s a bad idea, Daisy. We should look at my place, figure out a way to get you up to my room without—”
“Without Leroy spreading it all over town? Not a chance. You said so yourself.”
As if her dad blowing my brains all over her bedroom wall was a better idea.
I huffed a defeated sigh. I really didn’t want to be caught climbing through her bedroom window, especially with Breaker breathing down my neck. I’d barely managed to satisfy him so far, and I knew it would only take one slip-up for him to gleefully ship me back to prison. Trespassing was a misdemeanor. Even if she vouched for me and told everybody that she invited me—which I wasn’t sure she would do, if her dad was listening—they could still make a case for trespassing since she didn’t own the place.
I turned her hand over in mine and kissed the back of it. “This is important to you, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “I just want to be close to you, Kash. I want to hold you; I want to be held. I want to fall asleep in your arms and wake up to your kisses.”
Alarm bells started going off in my head. “Woah, woah, hold on there Daisy. I’m down to sneak in for a round or two and let you fall asleep on me, but I can’t stay all night. That’s just asking for trouble. I mean, so’s the rest of it, but that’s just plain reckless.”
She pursed her lips, then sighed. “Yeah, I know. I just—ten years is a really long time, Kash. And I’ve already waited six. I just—sometimes I feel like this is never going to happen. I want to make it happen, at least a little bit even if we can’t get the full thing for right now.”
God, she was frustrating sometimes. I kissed her hands again and looked into her eyes. “I want that too, Daisy. I do. Which is why I think it’s so important for you to stand up to your dad, get everything out in the open so you aren’t so damn scared all the time.”
A shudder ran through her body and she bit her lip. She squeezed my hands and gave me a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’ll get there,” she promised. “Just… give me some time, okay?”
Fortunately for her, I had all the time in the world. Ten years at least. So we left it at that, agreeing to start on Monday as we were well into the weekend and Sunday was her dad’s one sober day. We hammered out the details while we drove aimlessly around town, talking about all the places we’d like to go together someday.
Someday seemed very far away when I kissed her goodbye and dropped her off in the woods near her house.
Chapter 17
On Monday, everything started falling apart in slow motion. Since I’d had so much trouble finding a job, Breaker had set me up with the highway maintenance crew—or the Roadkill Crew, as they affectionately called themselves—which was supposed to be year-round, full-time, minimum-wage work. It was crap, but it would fulfill my obligations for the moment.
But when I showed up to work early Monday morning, the foreman gathered the dozen or so of us together.
“Hate to break it to y’all,” he said. “But the city’s making budget cuts. They’re under the impression that we can keep the highways and byways clear with a four-man crew. Johnson, Steward, and Franks—y’all have been here longest, so you’ll stay on. The rest of you—I’m sorry to tell you that this’ll be your last week. I’ll give you time off with full pay for any interviews you can get this week.”
I clenched my jaw and the foreman sighed.
“I know some of you are here on work release. I hate to screw that up for you. I’ll write letters of recommendation for all of you—you’re all good workers, and I hate to have to do this to you. Whatever you need, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll do everything I can to lessen this blow.” He went on and on. All short sentences, saying the same thing in small amounts of words. But at least he was trying. I knew there were many out there who’d cut their workers off without batting an eye or wasting another dollar.
I wanted to be grateful to him for
