“Well, thank you anyway,” Tillie said. “From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.”
Levi just smiled.
She supposed You’re welcome would be a little awkward to say in a case like this, but his smile was enough.
“I’ll take these to the car for you,” Levi said, holding up the half-empty bag of diapers.
“And I’ll wash the dress and have it back to you—”
Levi shook his head, cutting off her words. “Keep the dress. You may need it while you’re here.”
“Thank you again,” Tillie said.
This time he murmured, “You’re welcome.”
Since the time she had arrived, she had been thinking about leaving, and now that the time had come, all she could think about was finding a way to stay. But there was no excuse to stay. And she knew deep in her heart that all she wanted was to postpone the inevitable, to stall the reckoning.
“Are you ready?” Leah asked. “You don’t have a coat?”
Tillie shook her head. “Just a sweater.”
“Well it’s a good thing the heater in the car works. It’s not a long drive. You should be fine.” And she turned and started toward the door.
Tillie had no choice but to follow after her. And she could feel Levi behind her as they trailed down the porch to the car.
Tillie had watched hundreds of times as moms snapped and unsnapped their babies from their car seats, but it was still something of a mystery to her. She allowed Leah to get Emmy into the car seat base that held the carrier she had brought for her.
Then Levi put the bag of diapers in the back seat next to her and took the diaper bag from Tillie and placed that beside it.
Now is the time to get in the car.
Leah slipped into the driver seat, but Tillie had trouble getting her feet to work. Somehow she forced them to walk around the car. She opened the passenger side door, then she looked at Levi one last time and gave him a small smile. “I’ll see you at church,” he said.
“Jah,” Tillie said. “See you at church.”
* * *
Mamm was waiting for them on the porch when they arrived. Tillie figured she would swoop in on the baby first, but instead she wrapped Tillie in a warm embrace that brought tears to her eyes. She was sad to leave Levi’s; she was happy to be home. But like with everything else, that joy would be short-lived. Somehow she just knew it.
Mamm pulled away and wiped her own tears with the tail end of her apron. “Get inside, out of this cold,” she said, as if the cold was what had caused her tears in the first place.
Tillie nodded.
Leah grabbed the baby from the back seat of the car and carried her inside the house. She took her into the kitchen, which always seemed to be the warmest room, and set her, carrier seat and all, on the kitchen table.
“My word,” Mamm gasped.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” Leah said. “Of course, I know that I’m a little bit prejudiced, but I do believe she might be the most beautiful baby in the world.”
“Of course we should think our new baby is the most beautiful in the world,” Mamm said.
True to their predictions, Emmy had fallen asleep in the car and had snoozed all the way over to the house. Now that they had stopped, however, she wiggled around like she was about to wake up again.
“I think she might be getting hungry.” Tillie checked the clock over the sink. Jah, it was getting close to time for her afternoon snack.
“Let me get her for you.” Mamm moved to undo the buckles and straps on the baby carrier and lifted Emmy from inside. She fussed a bit and stretched, then looked at her grandmother. She studied Mamm for a minute, then let out a long wail.
Mamm chuckled and snuggled her nose in the crease of Emmy’s neck. “Mmmm, babies always smell so good,” Mamm murmured, the wistful words mixing with Emmy’s screams.
“I’ll let your mother feed you, then maybe we can get acquainted in a little bit, jah?” Mamm handed Emmy to Tillie, who still wore one of Levi’s old shirts and the bottom half of the dress that his wife had made for some reason or another.
“Land sakes, girl. What are you wearing?”
“I got lost in an ice storm,” Tillie said. She started to unbutton his shirt with one hand as she cradled the baby in the other. She settled down on the long bench in front of the table and pulled her baby close.
Mamm smiled. “You’re right, of course. But we do need to get you some proper clothes.”
Another week. She would have to stay at least another week, maybe a week after that. It wasn’t like she could go traveling around with the baby. And she was still a little sore. There was a reason why English people took six weeks off when they had a baby. It was a lot of work. But much longer than that and she knew she would have to admit to everyone that Melvin was not coming back, that he would not marry her, and that she would have to leave again. But until that time, she was holding on to hope with both hands.
“Wait till Dat sees her,” Mamm said.
Tillie loved her father, but he was a hard man. And she had broken rules. But she had seen the miracles a baby could perform without even trying, without lifting a finger. And she supposed this little girl would have her dawdi’s heart without even trying.
“I want to see Anna’s face.” Leah grinned. “And Gracie. They’re both going to be so excited.”
“As excited as you are?” Mamm asked. She slid into the bench next to Tillie and ran a finger over Emmy’s head as she ate.
