“She wants what she can’t have. It’s a competitive thing.” Amandarolled her eyes as she spoke and shook her head.
“Even if that’s the case—”
“Even if that’s the case, I’m not in love with her. I don’t wantto be with her. And that isn’t going to change.”
Quinn believed her. She believed her the first time she said it.But she was failing epically at explaining the difference between that and herreal fears. “I’m sorry I seem to be sending us in circles. I’m truly notworried you’re going to get back together with her. It’s whether I’m actuallywhat you want. What if I’m appealing right now because I’m different? What ifI’m just a rebound, some experiment?”
Amanda smiled then. Her brow arched. “Rebound? I’ve beendivorced, like, five times longer than you have.”
“But you considered getting back together with her. It sayssomething about that kind of person still having a certain appeal.”
“My brief…” she hesitated, “affair with Mel reminded me of why webroke up in the first place.”
“Wasn’t it because she fell in love with someone else?”
Amanda tipped her head back and forth. “On the surface, yes. Butthat was only the catalyst. Mel takes up all the oxygen in the room. Mel is…”another pause, “always about Mel.”
She’d gotten that vibe but chalked it up to her ownpredisposition to dislike the woman. Having Amanda say it, and use those words,went a long way. “I appreciate you saying that.”
“I’m not just saying it for your benefit.” Amanda looked down ather hands, then at Quinn. “I like that you’re subtle.”
Quinn offered her a rueful smile. “That’s a kinder word thanboring.”
“And completely different. You’re not boring. You’re low-key butstill adventurous. You have such empathy and such care for the feelings ofothers. You’re honest and open-minded and have such a deep sense of integrity.”
She squirmed. This was exactly how she didn’t want thisconversation to go. “You don’t have to stroke my ego.”
“What if I’m not trying to stroke your ego? What if I mean it?”
“Maybe you do. But I’m not sure I’m in a place to hear it, ifthat makes any sense.”
Amanda frowned. “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t.”
“I think you feel bad about how things went earlier and you wantto make me feel better.”
“Both true.”
“Which I appreciate, but I can’t, or I guess I don’t want, youtelling me how you feel about me as part of trying to make me feel better.”
“Oh.” She let the word hang.
“That might not be fair of me, but I’m trying be honest and notjust say the things that will make us feel better in the moment.”
Amanda took a deep breath and Quinn braced herself. “I respectthat. It makes sense. It makes me sad, but it makes sense.”
It made her sad, too. “Thank you.”
“So, where does that leave us?”
She so wasn’t the expert. “Well, you’re going to be crazy busythe next couple of weeks, between getting Cal moved in and the bakery back upand running. What if we took a breather? Let the dust settle.”
“Is that your gentle way of breaking up with me?”
She scrubbed her hands over her face. “No. If I didn’t thinkthere was any hope, I’d say so.”
“But there’s a chance you are going to in the end.”
The look of anguish on Amanda’s face slayed her. It took everyounce of restraint she had not to gather Amanda in her arms and ask if theycould just put the whole mess behind them. “I mean, I think there’s a chanceeither of us could end up there. I don’t think you want to get back togetherwith Mel, but I don’t think it’s as resolved as you want it to be. And Danielladoesn’t, either.”
“You’re right.” Amanda blew out a breath and her whole demeanortook on a look of defeat. “But promise me we are going to talk.”
The request gave her a dose of reassurance. “We will.”
Amanda untucked her feet and set them on the ground. “Okay. Iwon’t outstay my welcome now.”
It wouldn’t be fair to take Amanda’s hand, tell her how badly shedidn’t want her to go. But, God, did she want to. “It’s not like that. I hopeyou know it’s not like that at all.”
Amanda nodded but didn’t speak. She stood. Quinn followed her tothe door. She picked up her purse. Quinn opened the door. Amanda steppedoutside, but turned. “I’ll be thinking about you.” She nodded, not sure of whatelse to do.
Amanda left and Quinn closed the door behind her. She slumpedagainst it and let her head tip back. She’d think about little else.
* * *
Mel pulled into the driveway just after eight and Amanda bracedherself. They’d discussed the logistics of moving Cal into his dorm over textbut hadn’t seen each other since the party. The cloud of the day and how itended still loomed.
Cal finished shoveling eggs into his mouth and polished off hisorange juice. “Two minutes.”
She laughed as he bolted from the table and headed upstairs. Itwas a good thing he was such a serious student or she’d worry about him evergetting to class on time. “Take your time.”
She took a steadying breath and headed to the front door. She openedit just as Mel lifted a hand to knock. She offered Amanda a sheepish smile.“Hi.”
The body language went a long way in helping her relax. “Hey.”
“Big day.”
“It is.” She was prepared for it, but it didn’t make it any lesssignificant. “How did yesterday go?”
She’d initially hesitated to take a wedding cake order the dayDaniella was due to move back into her dorm, but given everything, she wound uprelieved to have the conflict. And since Daniella was allowed a car on campusthis year, there really wasn’t a need. It did make her feel like a coward and aterrible parent, but it was the truth of the matter. At least she could pointto wanting to avoid Mel as much as Daniella.
“Perfectly uneventful. Nadia says hi.”
That made her feel better, as did the mention of Daniella’sroommate. And Daniella had responded to her text last night. She knew it wasresidual awkwardness and not an irreparable rift, but the evidence helped. “Oh,that’s nice.”
“Cal?”
“Brushing his teeth,
