DAN:
I don’t know about that! He only follows his master’s wishes, so he’s not suppressed by morals or a sense of right and wrong.
MARTY:
I never met a creature from hell who was.
SOUND:
Everyone laughs.
DAN:
But he’s pure evil. He has only one goal: to kill.
MARTY:
Great—another Dark Enforcer extremist!
DAN:
And proud of it! I have some issues completely memorized!
MARTY:
Look Dan, since you’ve only been coming into the Dungeon for a couple weeks, we’re going to cut you some slack. But you’re just not going to convince us that The Dark Enforcer could take the Hulk.
PHIL:
. . .or Swamp Thing!
DAN:
Hey, I love Swamp Thing. . .but The Dark Enforcer is the champion of underdogs!
DAVE:
That’s right. He can only serve those who have been treated unfairly by others.
MARTY:
But he can also only serve one master at a time, right? So really, he’s the “champion of one underdog,” depending on when you catch him.
DAN:
True. . .but he has defended many underdogs over time, so the title is still valid.
DAVE:
Dan, you may be new around here, but your taste in comics is impeccable.
SOUND:
Everyone chuckles and ad-libs a bit of razzing.
DAVE:
Listen, guys, I hate to break up the party, but it’s already after seven.
PHIL:
Aw, you just want to stop the discussion while you think you’ve got the upper hand.
MARTY:
What’s with the seven o’clock closing time on Wednesdays, Dave? Most comic shops stay open late on delivery day.
DAVE:
(a bit hesitant) Well, you guys are all my regulars. . .and you’ve already bought your comics, right? So I’ve made my profit for the day.
PHIL:
Fine. Come on, Marty. . .let’s leave Scrooge McDuck to swim around in his money bin.
DAVE:
I wish. Some titles didn’t deliver this week. I may not even break even.
MARTY:
Looked to me like there was plenty of green passing over the counter tonight. I’m sure the bank isn’t after you.
DAVE:
(almost to himself) No. . .not the bank. . .
MARTY:
I’m outta here. Come on, Phil.
PHIL:
See you guys next week!
SOUND:
The door opens and closes, triggering a jingling bell as it does.
DAN:
(chuckling) Tough crowd.
DAVE:
They’re good guys. Just very. . . passionate about their comics.
DAN:
I could see that. Listen, I know it’s not The Dark Enforcer, but they’re showing that old “Swamp Thing” movie over at that revival theater on Milwaukee Avenue. I was thinking of seeing if Phil wants to go since he’s such a diehard fan. You interested?
DAVE:
(hesitant) Uh, no. . .I don’t think so. I gotta, uh. . .do some inventory. . .and stuff. You know how it is. . .delivery day and all.
DAN:
Yeah, sure—the big businessman. Well, don’t work too late, Mr. Trump.
DAVE:
(chuckles nervously) Yeah, see ya.
SOUND:
The door opens, jingles, and closes.
NARRATOR:
Running a business—even a small one—often means sacrificing activities like
NARRATOR (cont’d):
a night out. But Dave has something on his mind besides inventory. . .something he’s forced to deal with every Wednesday. Something he dreads.
SOUND:
The door opens, jingles, and closes. Footsteps walk up to Dave at the counter, under.
NARRATOR:
A visitor who comes to the shop each week. . .but not to buy comic books.
KELLER:
(a greeting) Chersky.
DAVE:
You cut it a little close this time, Keller.
KELLER:
Don’t worry—your little friends are gone.
DAVE:
I just don’t want them to know I’m paying protection money.
KELLER:
Why not? Almost every business on the block is doing it.
SOUND:
A match being struck and flaming up.
DAVE:
I don’t allow smoking in here.
KELLER:
(takes a drag, chuckles, then. . .) How come?
DAVE:
My inventory. It’s all paper. Some of it old, brittle, very valuable paper.
DAVE (cont’d):
One burning ember and the whole place could go up in smoke.
KELLER:
(unfazed) Yeah. That would suck, wouldn’t it? Then you and all your geeky little buddies wouldn’t be able to meet here once a week to talk about your favorite superheroes and have your little circle jerk. I don’t get it; why don’t you get out of this. . .dungeon and go live your life?
DAVE:
(quietly) There’s nothing wrong with my life. I own a business, I do something I enjoy. . .I should be able to live my life the way I want.
KELLER:
You know what I think? I think you were one of those guys who was always bullied in school. And you just took the abuse; never fought back. . .just put up with it and then went home and read the latest issue of Captain Dickwad—or whoever your favorite superhero was—and fantasized about beating up all the bullies.
DAVE:
You don’t know anything about me.
KELLER:
I think I do. And what’s more, I’ll gaze into my crystal ball for you: your life is always going to be the same. . .always getting bullied by guys like me, and always putting up with it until you can escape into the next comic book. Doesn’t sound like much of a life to me. (a beat) But, hey. . .I don’t have time to go all Dr. Phil on you. Why don’t you just give me what I came here for and I’ll get out of your hair?
DAVE:
(hesitant, scared) Umm. . .that might be a problem. I didn’t make enough money to give you anything this week. A lot of the titles I ordered didn’t deliver. But that means more titles than usual will deliver next week. . .so, I could give you enough for two weeks all at once. There’d only be a one week delay.
KELLER:
(like he’s explaining to a child) See now, in order for us to give you the kind of protection you’re paying us
KELLER (cont’d):
for, we have to get paid on a weekly basis, without fail. That’s our agreement. This is a dangerous neighborhood, Dave. (we hear his footsteps as he walks over to the door) Without that payment, there’s no telling what could happen to you.
SOUND:
The door being locked.
DAVE:
You don’t need to lock the door.
KELLER:
(walking back to Dave) But see, I do, Dave. Under these circumstances, there’s a protocol we have to follow. It starts with me doing something like this.
SOUND:
A horrendous crash of metal and the sound of paper flying everywhere.
DAVE:
That’s all my new inventory! Don’t!
KELLER:
Don’t what?. . .You mean this?
SOUND:
A table being upturned and boxes of back issues flying everywhere.
DAVE:
Please. . .stop! Those are valuable back
