“There’s more to this story than I realized, Abby,” I answer, darting my eyes away from her angered gaze. “Actually, that leads me to what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Lifting her glass to her lips, she gulps nearly half her drink, red liquid draining from the top, her fingers rigid around the fragile glass. She sets it back down, swallowing. “What is it?”
I sigh, hoping my news won’t scare her. Like Logan and I had done, Abby’s moved on with her life, leaving the past behind. I knew that what I had to tell her would only drudge up old memories for her. “We think Julian found us.”
Her eyebrows shoot across her forehead and her neck dips as she swallows again.
I’m quick to calm her, knowing she’s probably freaking out on the inside. “We haven’t actually seen him yet, but he’s definitely made himself known.”
She falls back against her seat again, absentmindedly picking at the corner of the paper lining our basket of chips. “Are you sure? How do you know it’s him if you haven’t seen him?”
“I’ve been receiving emails.” My eyes meet hers. “That’s how I got those pictures. I know it sounds crazy, but the emails said things only he would know. Things that he said to me when we were together.”
“How long have you been getting them?”
“A few months.”
She arches one eyebrow. “And you’re just now telling me this? Shit, Lena.”
“I’m sorry, Abby.” I’m quick to apologize.. “I should have told you sooner and I know that. I own my mistake. I was standing in my own way, battling with what Julian had done to me in the past versus telling the truth.”
“Does Logan know?”
“He does now. I was afraid that if I told Logan that Julian was back, he would want to pack us up and move again, God knows where. And I couldn’t do that. Not to Logan and not to you. It wasn’t until I’d received that email with the pictures, that everything kind of blew up. Those pictures forced me to face the ugly truth. I was living in a state of denial. I didn’t want to believe Julian was back but seeing Logan that way, I needed to know the truth.”
“Sure.” She purses her lips, nodding. Her body sways in her chair, mulling over my words. “I know you’ve been through a lot, Lena. Still, that doesn’t give you the right to keep secrets from those who care about you. I could have helped you. I could have been there for you.”
I stare into her eyes, hoping she can feel sincerity in my apology. “I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’ve been a terrible friend and you don’t deserve to be kept in the dark. The way I’ve handled this is no excuse. I just wanted you to know.”
“You’re right. It’s not an excuse.” She shakes her head. “And you should have told me.”
I fight back the urge to cry, biting on the inside of my cheek. I’ve cried enough the past two days to last a lifetime. There was no more room for tears. I needed to protect both my husband and my best friend. The time for hiding was over.
“How do you know he’s not just going to disappear if he’s only sent emails?”, Abby asks, sidestepping the change of conversation. She tips her chin up, wanting to know more.
“He hasn’t only been sending emails.” I wince, biting my bottom lip. Chills spread across my skin, remembering how it felt knowing Julian had been inside our house. “We think he broke into our house a few weeks back.”
“What?” She leans forward, her chest pressing against the edge of the wooden table. Her gold necklace dips, dancing across the glossy top. “You assured me you had an excellent security system. How in the hell did he get in?” Her anger has begun to boil over, her cheeks staining with red and her smooth lips thinning.
“It is a good system,” I reassure her. “I don’t know how he got in. He’s smart so I’m not surprised if he found a way to unlock it. We changed the code after it happened, and we made an appointment to have the new upgraded system installed this week.”
“Huh,” she says, still clearly stunned. She picks up a chip, a string of cheese hanging off the end. Popping it into her mouth, she chews. Her cheeks are still blushed with red, her anger subsiding.
I repeat the words I just said to Abby in my head. I wanted to believe the new system would make us feel safer in our own home. Ever since I’d opened up to Logan about the emails, he immediately jumped to wanting to upgrade our system. Julian had returned and we were more prepared to protect ourselves this time, not willing to take any chances.
In a way, Julian had taken advantage of my weaknesses. He sent those emails, boldly, knowing I would suffer in silence. He always had a knack for exposing my weaknesses and using them to his advantage. I’ve been married to Logan for nearly a year but had managed to carry a piece of Julian along with me. Fear had overridden my courage. The weakness that had been embedded in me after my relationship with Julian was all but gone now. Being with Logan has taught me more than I had bargained for. He taught me to trust, even when the truth may hurt.
I’m silent, suddenly unsure of where Abby and I were going to take our conversation. There were many things that needed to be said between us, yet none at all. My eyes move past Abby, watching a man sitting at the bar. His back is facing me, but I can see his reflection in the large mirror covering the back wall of the bar. He’s wearing a black sweatshirt, the hood pulled up over his head. My breath catches in my throat when his eyes
