For a brief second rage consumes me and I’m sure if Paylon appeared at the edge of this river right now I’d kill him in seconds. I take a deep breath in and let the rage go. My job is not to kill Paylon. I need to get to Libertas so these people can have a home. I need to go because Alexander doesn’t get to have that second chance anymore. I can be strong and keep moving. Even if I can’t, I have to tell myself that I can.
Zavy puts an arm around my shoulder and says, “I’m so sorry Adaline.” We sit like this in silence for a long while until Mio calls for everyone to pack up their belongings and get ready to leave.
“Did it rain?” she asks, lifting my damp hair with her dry fingers.
“Yeah, it did,” I say and look up to the sky letting out a heavy breath. Letting the last of the pain go.
We walk back over to where we slept. I pack up my blanket and pillow and throw my backpack over my shoulders. I don’t say anything to anyone else, but I can tell they are all thinking the same thing; that Alexander is never coming. The fact that I’m not the only one to have this feeling makes me know it’s even more true.
Mio has us jogging at a steady pace along the muddy edge of the river. I look ahead of us and can see we are closing in on a large mountain range. I’d seen it on the map at Cooper’s camp, but it is so much larger than I had imagined. Surely we won’t be climbing it. I assume they must know a way through the mountains since they have made this journey many times before. Not too long after we start jogging Cooper slows his pace until he comes side by side with me.
“Look, I’m sorry about going off of the plan,” I force myself to say to him between deep breaths. He must still be looking for an apology from me so I’ll give it to him.
“It’s already done, Adaline. We can’t change it. I just wanted to tell you, you should probably keep your distance from everyone else,” Cooper says smoothly. He has no difficulty keeping a steady breath and it registers to me he’s spent the last seven years training his body for this journey and these conditions.
“Why?” I ask and nervously glance at him.
“Because it was all of our jobs to get you and Alexander to Libertas. Without Alexander, I doubt any of us will be allowed to stay,” Cooper says bluntly.
The truth of what Cooper has just said settles in my brain. These people may not get their freedom. The past seven years were just for nothing. “Well, what will happen to them?” I ask.
“I’m not sure. I’ve overheard a couple of people already talking about needing another plan,” he admits.
“No, I’ll make sure you all get to stay in Libertas,” I say sternly.
“With all due respect sister, I don’t think you have that kind of power,” Cooper says sarcastically.
“I’ll think of something,” I say. “It’s not their fault Alexander isn’t here, it’s mine.”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Cooper mumbles and starts to pick his pace up again until he’s back at the front of the pack. I let his words hang with me for a moment. I don’t think he’s mad at me for saving Zavy. I just think he wants to put up a strong front, be my tough older brother that wants to be in charge. I let myself scan over all of the groups’ faces and can see their vacant expressions.
“I did this to these people,” I think to myself. I let my mind go blank as I let the sounds of repeated feet thumping against the riverbank fill my head. I don’t want to think about how I’ve ruined their lives. I didn’t mean to mess everything up. I thought I was doing the right thing.
Mio finally calls for us to stop running when it’s nearly noon and the sweat is dripping off of my face. “Everyone, drink some water. We won’t be here for long. Sard is just another hour or so up ahead. Albert and Andy, prepare the last of the deer. We’ll eat and make the last part of the journey,” Mio instructs to a crowd of empty faces.
“Let’s change and wash these clothes too,” Cinder offers. “Essie, you and your sisters can set up over here.” I watch Cinder lead the three sisters to a shaded part at the edge of the river. I hadn’t noticed the large wooden baskets they’d been carrying before. They’ve cleverly fastened them to the back of their bags. I watch them unclip them and fill them with the river water. I look up and over their heads and see we are just at the base of the mountains. I was right about not having to climb them. There’s a large dip straight ahead if we follow the river. We’ll still have to climb, but not nearly as high.
Albert and Andy start building a fire to cook the meat and I go to the river to fill my water bottle with fresh cold water. I’m disappointed to find it already warm from the baking sun above us. Warm water is better than no water I remind myself. I turn around and sip on my water bottle looking at everyone’s blank
