Mbali-pana, a savanna south of the Khumba Khourou desert.
Kiti ya Ngai, or Seat of the Gods, a towering mountain in the midst of the savanna.
Mashambani-m’ti, a belt of tropical rain forest that stretches across the middle of Abengoni.
Luango, the greatest river in the Mashambani-m’ti.
Bashoga, a riverine kingdom in the Mashambani-m’ti.
Mukondo, a riverine kingdom in the Mashambani-m’ti.
Nyayembe, a riverine kingdom in the Mashambani-m’ti.
Usisi, a riverine kingdom in the Mashambani-m’ti.
Jhagga, an uninhabited, noxious swampland.
Kashai, a rugged, semi-arid steppe at the southern tip of Abengoni.
Gundagumu, a fertile plateau in the northeast of Abengoni.
Chiminuhwa, a kingdom in the Gundagumu.
Inyangana, a kingdom in the Gundagumu.
Kadishwene, a kingdom in the Gundagumu.
Mbiri, a kingdom in the Gundagumu.
Vengaye, a kingdom in the Gundagumu.
Itsekiri, an island continent of dark-skinned people to the east of Abengoni.
Cym Dinath, a large continent to the far north of Abengoni, beyond the Sea of Storms.
Fiadol, a seafaring nation in Cym Dinath.
Angless, the chief seaport of Fiadol.
Lumaron, an eastern kingdom in Cym Dinath, birthplace of Kyroun ni Channar.
Ul-Enish, a city near Lumaron, birthplace of Byallis ni Shalla.
Vakshma, Cym Dinath’s City of Thieves.
Bashoob, a vast desert separating the east and west of Cym Dinath.
Pashtar, an oasis kingdom in the Bashoob.
Rafja Mountains, a distant range in the lands to the east of the Bashoob.
GLOSSARY
abi, a silver rod that focuses the sorcerous power of the High Priest of the Matile.
aderash, estates and mansions that belong to the aristocracy of Khambawe.
Almovaad, a follower of the Seer Kyroun, and Believer in the god Almovaar.
Amiya, a human Vessel, or host, for the magical power channeled by the Jagasti, the pantheon of deities worshipped by the Matile.
ashuma, the power that fuels Matile sorcery, channeled from the deities through the Vessels of the Jagasti.
assegai, the stabbing-spear of the Thaba tribesmen.
blankskin, an Uloan term of derision for the Matile who dwell in the Abengoni Mainland.
chamma, a mantle-like garment worn by Matile men and women.
Degen Jassi, the collective term for the urban aristocracy of the Matile, and also for their formal gatherings.
Dejezmek, the title given to the supreme commander of the Matile military forces.
gede, a sorcerous construct used by Uloan spies to send messages to their island homeland.
gharri, a two-wheeled chariot used by the Matile for transportation and war.
harai, a shoulder-shawl worn by men and women of the outlying, agricultural provinces of the Matile Empire.
huangi, the master sorcerers of the Uloans.
igikoko, eaters of carrion and corpses.
injerra, flat disks of bread that are a staple food of the Matile.
Imba Jassi, the aristocracy of the Matile agrarian hinterland.
imbilta, a type of flute played during the Matiles’ First Calling ceremony.
irimu, a legendary supernatural race that can shift shapes between human and animal.
Ishimbi, a group of gigantic statues located at the waterfront of Khambawe.
izingogo, humanoid quadrupeds that hunt in packs and hate all other living beings.
Jagasti, the pantheon of gods and goddesses worshipped by the Matile. The Jagasti dwell in their own Realms: arcane dimensions that are repositories of magical power.
Jass, the Matile equivalent to “Lord” or “Lady,” a title held by members of the Matile aristocracy.
jhumbi, a clay-covered, walking Uloan corpse.
kabbar, farmers in the hinterlands of the Imba Jassi.
kef, a red fruit, the seeds of which are brewed into a strong drink of the same name.
khat, a narcotic leaf chewed – and sold – by the tsotsi bandits.
Leba, the title of the High Priest of the Matile, the One to Whom All Gods speak.
makishi, malevolent giants that dwell in the most remote, desolate areas of the Nangi Kihunu.
Mesfin, a title used when addressing the Emperor or Empress of the Matile, analogous to “Your Highness” or “Your Majesty.”
munkimun, long-tailed lemurs that dwell in the Uloa Islands.
Muvuli, shadow-assassins controlled by the Almovaads.
mwiti, the semi-animate vegetation of the Uloan Islands.
Negarit, an ancient drum used in Matile coronation ceremonies.
quagga, a zebra-like animal used by the Matile as a mount and for pulling wheeled vehicles.
senafil, decorated trousers worn by Matile men.
shamasha, previously a designation for Thabas enslaved by the Matile, now a general term applied to Matile servants.
talla, a grain beer popular among the Matile.
talla-beit, a tavern.
tirss, a spiked, mace-like weapon favored by the tsotsis.
tsotsis, gangs of young thieves and brigands who control the less-prosperous sections of Khambawe.
tukul, the round, conical-roofed dwellings of Matile farmers.
wat, an extremely spicy stew eaten by the Matile.
woira, a huge, thick-limbed tree found in the land of the Matile.
For me, the sheer power of this opening is in this last sentence of the ‘graph. You have an elegant, stately opening—but I am wondering if you don’t want to re-write the first line to be more direct and compelling
Good
Might think of another word to avoid close order repeat of the same phrase
Beautiful description
Charles—I know the goddess is a mystery, but this reader would like to see a bit more of her, please
??? waves—or is this a connection somehow with the dock?
This markup is going to be a tough one. Ashuma is italicized within a thought—my first thought is to leave it as italics even if it is extramarked within the thought
Marvel?
Scimitars? Shotel—no picture here, but: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shotel
Well done—
I’m about as pale as a white girl gets and I’m not salt white...Ivory?
The internumbering within chapters is confusing
How is the wake unpleasant?
This sounds almost Yiddish
Thunder’s a response to lightning
Charles—I’m not sure about this reference. When I first read, it seemed very contemporary for the story. History I’ve found says sandpaper came to being in China in the 13th century. In your world, either country could have created it before the store. It’s your call whether you want to use it or not.
http://www.abrasivesoasis.com/sandpaper.asp
Hmmmm....I’m wondering about buttons? What period of history are you considering here? Even up to the 17th century, a lot of shirts were just billowing affairs that came over the person’s head
Too common with our own world
Singular?
I like this MUCH
If they make this claim as a people, I believe this is appropriate
Love this line
Hey—how come we don’t know this god’s name?
Charles, the sentiment is there, but this really does throw me out of the story. It’s too modern—give me something from this world or I’m going
