She shut off the monitor to concentrate on the task at hand, heating the bottle of readymade formula in the electric heater she’d brought.
Before she could check the temperature, Lena came in with Ella, removed the bottle, and sprinkled a few drops on the inside of her arm.
“Perfect. You mind if we go outside?” Lena balanced the wriggling Ella, the warm bottle, and a cushion without seeming fazed in the least.
“Go ahead.” What else was there to say?
It took all her willpower not to sneak peeks outside.
She’d better start their own breakfast before Lena noticed. They hadn’t brought much. Scrambled eggs and the rest of the delicious cheese from the farmers market would have to be enough, together with the bread Lena had gotten for sandwiches. It looked suspiciously healthy, with whole grains or something, but it wouldn’t kill her for one day.
Lena’s indistinguishable mumblings accompanied Ella’s happy sucking noises through the open door to the porch.
Jess couldn’t stop smiling as she scrambled and cooked the eggs. Family. This morning was exactly like she had always imagined a family of her own should feel.
Jess, get a grip. One kiss and you’re playing happy family in your head. Amazing kiss, but still…With a shake of her head, Jess switched off the stove and plated the eggs.
During breakfast, Jess kept her gaze on the food and the conversation to the weather. If Lena stared at her strangely, so what? She couldn’t take any deep conversation with her thoughts and feelings all mixed up as if a tornado had picked everything up and shaken it before tossing it out again.
After they’d eaten, Jess clad Ella in a floppy hat and smothered sunscreen all over her.
Lena held up the wrap. “Do you want to carry her to the beach?”
As much as she wanted to, Jess wasn’t sure she actually could. Sure, her heart had improved, but she’d never taken such a long walk carrying Ella instead of pushing the stroller. “Nah, you take her.”
Ella seemed to enjoy the wrapping procedure as much as Jess liked watching Lena handle the cloth with strong hands and nimble fingers.
The path through the pines seemed shorter than last night. When they reached the bench, they followed another path on their left at the top of the cliffs until they reached a wooden staircase that seemed sturdy enough.
Lena didn’t hesitate and descended toward the water with one hand on the railing and the other wrapped protectively around Ella.
Jess followed slowly. She didn’t want to think about the way back up, which she was afraid would hurt. It had been the right decision not to carry Ella; she wasn’t up to her old standards. Even while pregnant, she’d always taken the stairs to the cardiology unit on the fourth floor. At least until the last month.
At the foot of the stairs, Lena waited for her, gaze fixed on the water. “Isn’t it beautiful?” Her voice was hushed as if they stood in a museum in front of a masterpiece.
The sight of her slightly opened lips and wide eyes was irresistible, and Jess didn’t even try to look away. Lena was gorgeous, maybe even more so than yesterday. If only her gaze would turn to Jess with the same adoration.
“Beautiful, yes.” Jess didn’t know why she whispered too.
Lena removed her sandals. “Ooh, the sand is warm.” She took a few steps toward the water. When she reached the curvy border between the dry and wet parts of the beach, she hesitated.
“It’ll be cold.” Jess grimaced. With all the stones, shells, and driftwood littering the beach, she wasn’t getting out of her shoes.
“I don’t care.” Lena took another step and shivered as her foot touched the wet sand. A wave lapped at the shore and lazily flowed over her feet. “Ouch. You’re right, that really is cold.” Laughing, she waded into the waves until her ankles were submerged. “Hey, Ella, look at that. The ocean.” She bent forward so Ella’s gaze was angled to the water.
Ella’s enthusiastic gurgling was most likely a response to the enthusiasm in Lena’s voice and her twisting movements, but Lena appeared to take it as confirmation. She squatted and submerged her hands in the water, then softly touched Ella’s nose with the tip of her finger.
Jess couldn’t help but laugh as Ella wrinkled her nose. Would it be like this as Ella grew up and they got to share more and more first times? That was what she’d always wanted, to show a child all the great things life had to offer. Recently, she’d been more occupied with recuperating and taking care of the basic necessities of life than with the beautiful discoveries they could make together.
Lena fished a shell out of the water and dried it on her shirt. She held it out to Ella, helping her little hand to glide over the smooth inside and rough outside.
The sight of Lena sharing her first moment at the ocean with Ella warmed Jess more than the rays of the sun could. Instead of considering the baby a disturbance or at best a necessary evil, Lena actively involved Ella in her own exploration and shared her joy freely.
Jess’s eyes started to burn. The reflection of the light must be even worse so close to the water. She pulled her sunglasses down from her head. There, much better.
She chanced another glance at Lena, who shielded her eyes and studied the horizon, laughing as a flock of seagulls swooped down to fish. She had obviously forgotten to bring her own sunglasses.
“Here,” Jess removed hers and held them out. “Take mine.”
“No, you’ll see less.”
“But you have Ella, and I would prefer if you didn’t stumble over a rock and fall face down in the water or something.”
“If you put it that way…” Lena took the glasses and put them on. They slid down to the tip of her nose, and she had to adjust the fit a bit. “I always thought your head was too big… Now I
