Lena’s first instinct was to comfort. She wanted to reach over, hold Jess’s hand, and tell her how much she could offer, if she’d give herself permission to. Instead, she pulled the teabag from her mug and squeezed it. The hot liquid stung enough to curb her impulse. “It’s okay, Jess. I enjoyed last night too, but I have my own reasons why I can’t commit to a relationship.”
“Really?” Jess studied her with a questioning gaze.
Lena didn’t know what the unspoken question was. Did Jess want to know her reasons? She wasn’t sure if she wanted to say out loud what scared her most, so she only answered the verbal part. “Really. But I hope we can still be friends. I’ve come to value our friendship, and I’d hate for it to be awkward when we see each other in your mother’s house. Plus, I need our walks to stay fit since I quit my waitressing job.”
“Nah, you’re plenty fit. I can vouch for that.” Jess grinned and winked.
“Ah, we’ve overcome the awkward morning-after phase and reached the teasing stage? That was quick.” Lena leaned back as the last bit of tension drained from her. Maybe last night hadn’t ruined their friendship after all.
Chapter Nineteen
Jess sat at the small table beneath the walnut tree while Ella slept in the stroller next to her. She skimmed through the Journal of Cardiology, but nothing caught her interest for long. She wasn’t in work mode at the moment. The sun shone, bees buzzed, and the flowers scented the warm air with late summer fragrances.
The last week had flown by. During the first weeks of what Jess had thought of as exile at her mom’s house, she’d expected to go mad watching the grass grow. Now she had her routine—tai chi, midday and evening walks, and enjoying every precious moment with Ella, who had grown so much and was already developing the first signs of a personality. Jess couldn’t believe she’d go back to work soon and leave Ella behind.
No, that wasn’t true. She wouldn’t leave her behind. Millions of parents went to work every day and came home to enjoy their time with their kids even more. Work wasn’t just a means of earning money for her; it was her calling, her vocation. Something she’d always wanted and needed to do. And she was still on track with her plans. Pregnancy and illness might have put her out of the race for most of the year, but she had lost neither the knowledge nor the skill to be on top of her profession.
Now she needed to go back to the city and prepare the condo. The cleaning service had been through this week, but she needed to restock the fridge and pack up her maternity clothes. She wanted to start with a clean slate.
“Hey, why are you frowning?” Lena carried two glasses with ice and a pale-green liquid that was probably one of the herbal tea mixtures her mom and Lena loved to create. “Here, Maggie decided we were done for today and sent me to find you.”
With a grateful smile, Jess accepted the cool drink and sipped it carefully. Mmh, they had added lemon, and the herbal taste wasn’t too overpowering. “I need to drive into the city tonight to get the condo ready for my move back on Sunday.”
Lena settled on the chair next to her. “Are you taking Ella with you?”
“No, my mom is going to watch her. Maybe I’ll use this last opportunity for freedom to go out to a nice restaurant. Not something I can do much when I’m alone with Ella.”
“That sounds like a plan. Are you meeting friends?”
“No.” How could she explain she’d grown distant from the circle of friends she had before? In recent weeks, she hadn’t missed anyone and wouldn’t know what to talk about with them anyway. She sighed. “I’m not in the mood for any of them. But…would you like to come with me?”
“Do you need help with moving your stuff and cleaning?” Lena fished a small ice cube from her glass and crunched on it.
“That’s not why I’m asking. I thought you might like an evening off too. Going out, having some fun.”
“I haven’t done anything like that for ages.” Lena smiled wistfully. “I used to be too tired to even miss it, but since I started working for Maggie, I don’t feel like dropping into bed at nine dead to the world anymore.” She brushed a strand of her curls behind her ear and nodded. “I’m game. But not too nice of a restaurant. I’m still on a limited budget.”
With the promise of Lena’s company, the prospect of driving to the city didn’t faze Jess anymore. She drained the glass. “Don’t worry about that. It’s my treat.”
“No, we’re not dating. And even then, I’d like to be able to pay my own way.”
Jess laid a hand on Lena’s thigh before she could think about whether it was a good idea. But removing it now would be weird. Friends could touch like this, right? “And I respect that attitude. But I’d love to go to my favorite place and enjoy your company. It’s not super elegant, but…” How did she politely say it was out of Lena’s budget? She tried a different approach. “They’re big on local, organic ingredients, and more than half of the menu is vegetarian or vegan. I’m sure you’d love it. Plus, I still owe you dinner. Let me take you, please.”
“You do?” Lena frowned, but then her expression morphed into a smile, and she playfully hit Jess’s hand still resting on her. “Oh, right, you do. You lost the blackberry competition because you wanted to play doctor.”
Jess snorted and removed her hand after a light squeeze. “That’s what you think playing doctor is about? Maybe I need to show you another meaning of the expression.” Her mouth was dry, and she wished she hadn’t finished her drink.
“Right.” Laughing, Lena reached for
