An hour before dawn, Jess had woken and been unable to return to sleep. Lena had been snuggled to her back, warm and soft, her arm holding Jess around her middle. Lena’s naked front had been next to her naked back. Skin on skin. Lena’s hand on her abdomen, on the ugly stretch marks, burning like a branding iron. She’d needed to get up before someone got hurt by all the heat.
Writing to-do lists for the upcoming week over her first and only cup of coffee, shopping for groceries online, and cleaning out her pantry had been great distractions. But just for a while.
Jess took a couple of steps toward her bedroom. What are you doing?
Lena had said she wasn’t in it for a relationship either. She’d probably stayed because of the neediness Jess had shown last night and might even be glad to wake up alone.
She rubbed her temples. Why had she asked Lena to stay? What had she been thinking? Obviously, not much.
She squared her shoulders, strode into the kitchen, and opened the fridge. It was stocked with more healthy stuff than she was used to, and choosing something not only for her but for Lena seemed too complicated. She closed it again with a sigh. She wasn’t hungry anyway.
“Morning.” Lena’s voice was still a little rough with sleep.
Jess swiveled around and smiled at the sight of Lena dressed in the bathrobe Jess had used during pregnancy. She’d had to sling the belt around herself twice. Lena’s hair was damp at the tips and even curlier than usual, and the urge to bury her hands in the gleaming strands was hard to resist.
“Morning.” Jess couldn’t blame the roughness in her own voice on sleepiness, but maybe Lena wouldn’t notice. “You want some breakfast?”
“Not yet. But I’d like something like that.” With a smile, she pointed at Jess.
Instant heat hit her right in the middle like lightning, and the electric discharge raced through the length of her, leaving Jess tingling everywhere. Had she just suggested…? “What?” And now her voice was an octave too high. Smooth, Jess, very smooth.
Laughing, Lena tugged at Jess’s T-shirt, sadly without touching her skin, then pointed at her sweatpants. “Something to wear for tai chi. I forgot to pack mine. I think we can both fit in front of the window if we move the chairs a bit.” She waved her hand at the empty space between the sitting and dining area.
The last trace of electricity fled, leaving Jess empty. “Um…sure. Follow me.”
With a specific mission in mind, it was easy to return to the bedroom and ignore the bed. Jess opened her closet and picked some of her prepregnancy sportswear. “I’ll move the chairs.” She thrust the bundle into Lena’s hands and left the room. No way could she watch her change right now.
In the living room, Jess opened the blinds to let some natural light in. The windows were positioned to capture the setting sun over the water, but the view was still amazing in the morning. The first rays of sunshine painted the few clouds orange and pink on the canvas of an indigo sky.
“Beautiful.” The voice came from directly behind her. Again, Lena had managed to sneak up on her. “Now I know why you chose this apartment.”
“Yes, very beautiful.” Jess agreed, but at that moment she could only focus on Lena’s reflection in the floor-to-ceiling windows.
The running tights and T-shirt fit Lena like a second skin and were far more revealing than the loose yoga pants she usually wore.
Not that Jess needed the reminder of how perfectly the slight curve of Lena’s hip fit into her hand. The memory of last night would stay with her for a while.
On the window’s surface, Mirror-Lena tilted her head and focused on Jess’s reflection. Their gazes met, and, for a second, Lena’s gaze sliced through all the protective layers Jess had wrapped around herself. She was laid as bare as she’d been last night, and it was even more terrifying than stripping naked.
Jess broke the connection. “The view was a great selling point.” And a safe topic. “Let’s start.”
As soon as Jess started the morning ritual, her thoughts settled like a wind chime after a storm, leaving her with a clear and calming note. When they finished, the magical predawn sky had transformed into a muted gray-blue morning. It was time to return to reality.
“I need a shower. Help yourself to anything you need—coffee, tea, cereal. I have bagels in the freezer, or…” Jess stared at the kitchen. She should prepare breakfast for Lena or at least show her where things were. She was being rude, but she needed a moment to herself.
“I’ll be okay. Take your time.” Lena squeezed her arm, then walked past her to the kitchen.
Jess allowed herself the pleasure of watching her walk in the workout tights for exactly three seconds before she hurried to the bedroom. She quickly made the bed, then carried her change of clothes into the bathroom so she wouldn’t risk running around in a towel again.
When she emerged, Lena had curled up in her reading chair in the bedroom. She’d pulled her legs up underneath herself and had both hands wrapped around a steaming mug. One of Jess’s old children’s books lay open on the wide arm of the chair. Lena looked so at home as if she’d always used this chair.
A strange sense of familiarity swept over Jess, making her dizzy. She shook her head to clear it.
“Hey.” Lena looked up with
