“You heard?”
Sam nodded.
“Miss Sally, she was very kind to us during the war. We wouldn’t touch the black-market stuff, not when so many of our men were drowning, trying to get us food. Your Sally, she sent my Sarah a parcel every now and again when she had a friend coming to London. She gave us eggs, some vegetables and the best blackberry pie I ever tasted. Don’t be telling Sarah that though.” Sam winked.
Derek couldn't stop himself. He put his hand on the old man’s arm. “Thank you, Sam. I think I’ve been rather blind lately.”
“You and the rest of the country, lad. We all thought liberation would free us all but it didn’t, did it? You can’t forget the things you saw and did. The scars you can’t see can be harder to deal with. I still have nightmares about what went on in my war. If you ever need someone to talk to, over a pint maybe, you just say the word.”
“Thank you, Sam. I just might take you up on that.”
39
Derek found some letters from Sally in his room. Why hadn’t his mother sent them on to the hospital? He picked them up and went into his old room to read them.
“Dear Derek,
I hope you are feeling better. I tried to call the hospital to see if I could visit you but they said you were not allowed visitors. I hope this was true and not just your way of avoiding me.
I have news of a sort. Harry wrote to say he has not found any members of his family alive. He’s traced most of them to a camp called Auschwitz. It’s somewhere in Poland. He hasn’t been able to trace Trudi, Liesl’s mother. He wrote to tell me to start the adoption process as he is worried Liesl and Tom might be sent back to live in Germany. He said he has been to some of the camps for displaced people and couldn’t bear it if his siblings ended up there.
Rachel, the girl who lives with Maggie Ardle, she got a letter from her mother. Mrs. Bernstein survived the war but is trying to get to Palestine. She thinks her sons might have gone to live there. Maggie has written to suggest Ruth and Rachel continue to live with her. Rachel wants to study to be a doctor although she has mentioned she might volunteer overseas with the Red Cross first. Ruth wants to stay with Maggie and be near Tom. They are like brother and sister, that pair. At least, they fight like siblings.
Oh Derek, how did we come to this? I love you and I don’t want a divorce. I want you to come and live at Rose Cottage and raise a family with me. I can’t give up the children and I beg you to reconsider. It’s not that I love them more than you. I do love them but even if I didn’t, they don’t have another home. They need me. Quite honestly, I need them too. They kept me sane when I thought I had lost you. If it hadn’t been for the children… well, I’m not sure I’d have been here when you did get back. I know what I am talking about is a sin but I was so desperately sad, it was so painful losing you when I got that telegram.
The pain now is worse. Knowing you are alive and less than fifty miles away but not being able to see you or touch you is driving me insane. Please, Derek, I will beg if I have to.
Give our marriage a chance.
I love you,
Sally.
He held the letter tight, noting the places where her tears had smudged the ink. His kind, soft-hearted Sally. Her kindness was what attracted him to her, after the initial physical attraction. She went out of her way to be nice to people, to see the good in them. Her experiences, growing up illegitimate, in a place where everyone knew all about you, could have turned her into someone hard and uncaring. Someone filled with anger against the world. Someone like him.
After a sleepless night, Derek got up knowing what he had to do. He dressed and walked downstairs to the kitchen.
“Morning Cook, can I call you Sarah? Morning Sam. Are you free this afternoon?”
The old couple looked at each other, Sarah’s eyes filled with fear.
“Yes, Master Derek,” Sam answered, taking Sarah’s hand in his.
“Sam please call me Derek. As of this moment, you no longer work here. I am going to get you the money Dad promised you and find you a place to live. You will stay here in the meantime. Sarah, if you can find someone to cook for mother, I will pay you to train them.”
Sarah sat down. “You want to sack us.”
“Not at all. I want you to retire. To live a little. Sam wants to go fishing. I aim to make that happen. I have to pop out for a while but while I’m gone, Sam could you clear out Dad’s old suits? Roland’s too. I want to take them down to the center. There’s far too many servicemen walking around in suits too big or small.”
“Master, I mean Derek. It’d be my pleasure. We know a couple who are looking for work. He was with bomb disposal and lost a leg. His missus is a good cook, not as good as my Sarah but good enough.”
Sarah looked fit to cry, so Derek hastily retreated. Whistling, he grabbed his hat and went in search of his solicitor.
40
He took a cab and asked the cab driver to take the long way down to Victoria, where his father’s solicitors were based. Derek couldn’t get over the damage. Almost every building seemed to have been hit by a bomb.
“It’s going to take years to rebuild this mess, isn’t it?” Derek remarked.
“It is but it’s a good reminder
