“You can do this?”
“Yes, the fence is not that high and most everyone gave a little something.”
Mindel was excited and wanted to do her part. But she didn’t have anything to give. No extra clothes or special trinkets…nothing except…Paula. She fought a heavy fight with herself and then reached under her dress to fetch her doll.
“Here.” She held out the doll, her heart breaking a little inside.
But Hanneli shook her head. “No, you can’t give away Paula, she‘s your special friend.”
“But I don’t have anything else to give.”
“Don’t worry. Anne will be happy with whatever is inside the box already. And I think she’s too old for a doll anyway.”
Mindel was secretly relieved and put Paula back inside her dress. It would have been so hard to give her away, especially now that Laszlo was dead. She couldn’t help but think of him often, and having Paula nearby always helped to dispel the fear and sadness.
Suddenly, Mindel had an idea and she darted out of the barracks, calling out, “I’ll be right back. Wait for me.”
Mindel hurried to the back door of the kitchens, hoping the Russian woman would be working today. She made sure there were no SS guards around before she snuck inside, searching for the kind woman. As soon as she saw her she walked over, and said, “Please, could I have just a small piece of bread? Please?”
The woman scowled down at her, “What are you doing here? We’ll both get in trouble if the guards see you.”
“I was very careful not to be seen. It’s not for me, but for a very sick friend. Please.”
The woman sighed, turned around and cut a small slice from a half-loaf of bread. “Here, take this. Be gone with you now. Don’t tell anyone where you got that.”
Mindel nodded earnestly and rushed out, remembering her manners at the last moment and turning around even as she was half through the door. “Thank you!” She scanned the surroundings the way Laszlo had taught her and then ran back to Hanneli’s barracks as fast as her weak little legs would carry her.
Completely out of breath, she had to stop a few times on the way to recoup her strength. The smell of the bread in her hand reached her nose, making her aware of the gnawing hunger in her intestines. Just a little bit, nobody will know. But she shook her head, closing her hand tighter around the bread and moving on. This bread was for Hanneli’s friend.
She held out the crust of bread and proudly showed it to Hanneli. “Here, for Anne.”
“Where did you get that? Please tell me you didn’t steal it.”
“No. The Russian woman gave it to me…but I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”
Hanneli hugged her. “Thank you so much. Such a wonderful contribution to the box.”
“Can I come with you when you toss it?”
“No, you can’t. The guards have become more alert and I only go minutes before curfew. You’ll have to be in your barracks by then.”
Mindel pouted, but after Hanneli promised to recount every detail of the toss-over, she marched off. Once she arrived at the orphans’ barracks her legs were so wobbly she could barely stand on them.
Mother Brinkmann shook her head. “Oh, Mindel, child, you shouldn’t walk that far, not with the little food we have.”
Mindel wondered what exactly the amount of food had to do with walking, but she was too tired to ask.
A week later Hanneli came to the orphans’ barracks with a sad look on her face.
“What’s wrong?” Mindel asked her.
“Nothing.”
“Did Anne get your box?”
Hanneli shrugged and Mindel had the suspicion there was something the older girl didn’t want her to know. She hated how the adults, and even the older children, always assumed she was too young for one thing or the other. She had just turned five, for crying out loud! Five! She wasn’t little anymore.
“I want to know,” Mindel insisted.
Hanneli gave a deep sigh. “Another woman stole it.”
“What? How dare she? What happened? How?” A million questions stormed out of Mindel.
“She must have overheard us talking about the box and waited in the shadows until I threw it. Then she pushed Anne over, scooped it up and ran away, even before Anne knew what happened.”
“How mean! Didn’t she know the box was for Anne and not for her?”
“For sure, she knew, but she didn’t care. I have been at the fence every evening since, but have never met Anne again. I’m afraid something has happened to her.
Mindel felt so sad for her friend, she put her tiny hand on Hanneli’s arm and said with the same soothing voice Mother Brinkmann used to console a child, “Don’t worry. She’s probably dead by now, but you shouldn’t be sad, because these things happen.”
“How dare you say this!” Hanneli yanked her arm away from Mindel and rushed off, leaving a very confused little girl behind.
Mindel had only wanted to help, and everyone knew that death was part of the daily life at the camp, therefore she didn’t have the slightest idea why her friend had reacted in such a strange way.
26
The only indication of passing time was the weather. With spring arriving, the harsh cold abated, but now Rachel and the other women had to combat humidity, pelting rain and muddy roads.
Keeping clean in these conditions was all but impossible and Rachel had given up any pretense of being a normal person long ago. As usual, they were woken before daybreak and after a meager breakfast assembled in columns to march to the salt mine.
But instead of walking down south, they were marched up north. Rachel groaned. Nobody gave any explanations and speculation among the prisoners ran high. Some whispered about death marches, sure they’d be sent on one of them, as the SS wanted to avert prisoners’ being liberated by the Soviets.
Leave no evidence behind, was the
