What had the Nazis done to them? Reduced them not only to animals, but cannibals. Sometimes she wondered whether it was actually worth it to survive this ghastly hell and if she could ever lead a normal life again.
Once she’d gobbled down her breakfast and the gnawing in her intestines had eased up a bit, she began asking people for the orphans’ barracks, until a kind woman pointed to the far end of the compound.
The feeling of trepidation about the long trek grew into full panic, when mere minutes later, SS guards swarmed the camp. For a change they looked like frightened mice instead of showing their usual smug arrogance.
A sense of urgency gripped Rachel and she hurried through the camp, determined to reach the orphans’ barracks at the far end. She only had three more huts to go when two SS men caught up with her and one yelled, “Hey, you! Assemble in the courtyard.”
Sheer panic coursed through her veins and she wavered – one moment too long. His truncheon hit her on the shoulder and the awful thud reverberated through her entire body. There was no room for decision-making; she had to obey.
So, she turned around and shuffled in the opposite direction, putting more distance between herself and the orphans’ barracks with every pained step. For a second, she panicked. She wasn’t supposed to be here. If they were going to do a roll call she’d be found out and the SS would surely kill her.
Disappointment over having come so close to finding her sister and once again failing at the last moment rushed over her, draining her will to live. When she arrived at the courtyard, she barely believed her own eyes: instead of lining up the inmates into orderly rows, the guards herded everyone toward the gates.
As opposed to earlier times when she’d been transferred, this time there were no lists, no names, and no order. It was all a complete shambles, a last-ditch effort of the Nazis to cover up their crimes.
She didn’t know what exactly was going on, but the tension grappling the entire camp tied her stomach into knots, and from the guards’ unabated anxiety she gleaned that the Allies were close. Unfortunately for her, they weren’t close enough and together with thousands of Star camp inmates she was marched to the train ramp – again.
The walk was strenuous and more than once she gazed with longing at the ditch beside the road. To sit down and relax for just a minute seemed like the most wonderful thing on earth, but everyone who succumbed to the yearning was promptly shot.
There was no train waiting, when the bedraggled group finally reached the train ramp. Rachel flopped down on the ground, thirst gluing her tongue to her gums. She cast a look into the sky, wished for clouds to roll in and the otherwise detested rain to pelt down on her. But there was only a blue sky and a bright, happy April sun shining down on the miserable crowd.
Anger at the sun erupted in her like a volcano spewing lava, and she shook her fist at the celestial body that looked down onto the earth day after day, unaffected by the horrid human misery, illuminating nature with bright yellow rays, bringing the seedlings to sprout and the flowers to blossom.
All around her she stared into gaunt and gray faces atop emaciated bodies, each one of them emanating hopelessness and an ocean of despair. One person looked exactly like the next one, indistinguishable skeletons covered by parched skin, except for…Mindel!
The girl looked as horrid as everyone else, but it was unmistakably her little sister. She was only twenty feet away from her, sitting on the lap of an older girl. Rachel would have cried, but her tears had dried up many months ago.
“Mindel!” she cried out, even as she struggled to her feet and weaved her way through the crowd.
29
Mindel felt as if she were burning up from the inside. Ever since the SS had entered their barracks in the morning and herded everyone out, she’d been feeling awful. In addition, her legs were too short to keep up with the tempo of the group and if it hadn’t been for Sandy, who’d dragged her behind, Mindel would have given up and thrown herself into a ditch.
The moment they’d reached the train ramp, she flopped onto Sandy’s lap, instantly falling asleep. After the long and agonizing march, where dirt and pebbles had gotten into her shoes, she was so tired, she simply couldn’t keep her eyes open. Her feet were freezing, but the rest of her body was hot.
“I’m tired,” Mindel whimpered.
“I know you are.”
“And thirsty,”
“Me, too. I’m sure they’ll give us some water soon.”
Mindel didn’t even bat an eyelid at the blatant lie. When had the SS ever cared about the inmates’ needs? “How much longer we have to wait?”
“I don’t know. I’m sure it won’t take long.”
Her head fell forward and right before she fell asleep again, she wondered why everyone thought death was such a bad thing. If it meant she wouldn’t be thirsty, hot and aching anymore, she’d rather be dead than sitting in misery on the ramp. At least the dead could roam freely and fly with the angels, playing in the clouds.
“Mindel!” someone yelled. “Mindel!”
She didn’t want to wake up, but her brain recognized the voice and she forced her eyes open, scrambling to turn around to see where it was coming from.
“Rachel?” She saw her sister pushing through the crowd, struggling to get to her.
“That’s my sister,” she told Sandy. “That’s Rachel!”
“Mindel! Stay where you are, I’m coming to you,” Rachel hollered. She pushed and shoved but it seemed to take an eternity for her to make her way through. “Almost there!” Rachel shouted, her voice being drowned out by the screeching sound of the train’s brakes as it drove into the station.
Mindel saw Rachel and how
