Confucius sent another message in: ‘I have the friendship of your brother Chi and so I hope for the favour of being able to view your feet from below the tent.’
When the officer passed this on, Robber Chih said, ‘Tell him to come here!’
Confucius hurried forward, and declining the mat offered, he stepped back and then bowed twice to Robber Chih. Robber Chih was still in a terrible temper. He stretched out his legs, placed his hand upon his sword and glared with his eyes, speaking with a roar like a tigress defending her young: ‘Confucius, come here! If what you say pleases me, you will live. If it angers me, you will die.’
Confucius said, ‘I have heard that there are three kinds of Virtue in this world. The highest Virtue is to grow tall and strong with wonderful looks so that all, young and old, noble and commoner, are delighted to see you. The middle Virtue is to understand Heaven and Earth and to be able converse eloquently on all subjects. The lowest Virtue is to be brave and fearless, resolute and dashing, gathering all to oneself and leading them.
‘Anyone who has just one of these Virtues is suitable to stand facing south and be called the Lone One, the Ruler. Now, here you are with all three. You soar up to eight feet two inches; light pours forth from your face and eyes; your lips look as though coloured with vermilion; your teeth are like rows of precious shells; your voice is in tune with the musical notes, yet you are simply called Robber Chih. Surely this is something to be ashamed of, and I disapprove of you.
‘However, should you so wish, you could listen to my ideas and send me as your ambassador to Wu and Yueh in the south, to Chi and Lu in the north, east to Sung and Wei and west to Chin and Chu, arguing with them that they should form a great walled city several hundred li wide. From there they could rule over towns containing several hundred inhabitants, and I would argue that you should be established there as lord. Then you could begin your career again with this city. You can stop fighting, send your followers home, bring your family together there and offer sacrifices to your ancestors. This is what a sage would do, or a true scholar, and it is what the whole world desires.’
Robber Chih was in a towering rage. ‘Confucius, come here!’ he roared. ‘The sort of person who can be won over by promises of profit or reformed through speeches are simply fools, idiots and the most common sort. That I am tall and strong, and so handsome that everyone delights to see me, is a virtue descended from my parents. Even if you hadn’t told me, don’t you think I’d know this?
‘What’s more, I have heard that those who praise people to their face will also speak against them behind their backs. Now, Confucius, you tell me about a great walled city filled with people, and you hope to make me change by such promises of profit, attempting to make me follow your words like some common person. But how long would such a place survive? There is no walled city as big as the whole world which was ruled by Yao and Shun, yet their descendants own so little land that they can hardly stick the point of an awl into it! Tang and Wu announced themselves as Sons of Heaven, but within a few generations their dynasties were dead and gone. Surely this was because what they had was considered such a valuable prize?
‘What is more, I have heard that in the past113 the birds and animals were many and the people few. As a result, the people lived in nests to escape the animals. During daylight they gathered acorns and chestnuts and during darkness they hid in their tree nests. This is why they were known as the Nest-Building People. In the ancient past the people didn’t know how to make clothes. During the summer they gathered firewood and in the winter they kept warm by burning it. This is why they were called the People who Know how to Keep Alive. In the time of Shen Nung the people lay down in peace and contentment and rose in serene security. The people knew their mothers but not their fathers, and they lived side by side with the elks and deer. They ploughed and ate, they wove and made clothes, never dreaming of harming others, for this was the era of the perfect Virtue.
‘However, the Yellow Emperor was unable to sustain this era of Virtue. He battled with Chih Yu in the area of Cho Lu until the blood flowed over a hundred miles. Yao and Shun ascended the throne, establishing hordes of ministers. Tang exiled his ruler Chieh and King Wu murdered his ruler Chou, and from then on the strong oppressed the weak and the many abused the few. From Tang and Wu until now they have all been instruments of disorder and confusion. Now, Sir, you come here promoting the ways of Kings Wen and Wu, using your skills in debate to teach them to the whole world and to all generations. Dressed in your distinctive garb and wearing a narrow belt, armed with false speeches and hypocritical behaviour, you fool the many lords and princes of diverse countries and prowl around looking for riches and fame. There is no greater robber than you, Sir. Why doesn’t the whole world, which calls me Robber Chih, call you Robber
