“No. Oh my goodness, I must have forgotten,” he slapped himself in the forehead and stood from the table. He walked over and embraced Olivia and kissed the top of her head, “Thank you for reminding me, mommy.”
Olivia gave him a mild shove with a laugh, as he exited the kitchen. “He’s kidding. He can be a real smartass sometimes, but he has a good heart.”
I contorted my mouth into a smile, while my eyebrows retained a ‘what the fuck?’ expression.
“I’m so happy to have you here, Danielle. You’re always welcome to come over, for holidays or whenever. If you ever need a place to stay, you can always stay here,” my dad said sincerely.
“Thanks, dad,” I said. An awkward silence lingered in the air until Nathan came back into the room.
“I’m normal again!” he announced, slamming a glass of water on the table.
“Nathan, sit down,” my dad said, grabbing the end of his sleeve and pulling him down.
“When did you guys get married?” the question just fell out of me.
“It was two years ago,” my dad said.
“Yeah, he got over mom real quick,” Nathan said, wiggling in his chair and winking at Olivia, “Love you, Olivia.”
“I will say I wasn’t done healing from the loss of your mother. However, I don’t think I ever will be. She was the mother of my children and she’ll always be with me. I didn’t want to get to a point where I moved on from her because that will never happen. I just found someone who understood my love for her and loved that part of me.”
“That’s good,” I said, not wanting to dislike Olivia, just not quite comfortable with her, “Do you still go visit her?”
“Every week,” he said, “We all do.”
I was saddened by this admission. Even Olivia had visited my mother, a hundred times more than I did.
“I’m happy to hear that.”
“We could all go as a family sometime, if you’d like,” my dad said.
“Oh, Alex, that’s a lovely idea,” Olivia said.
“Yeah, maybe sometime,” I replied.
We finished our food and continued the conversation over empty plates, Nathan slipping in a cold, sarcastic remark wherever he could.
“So, are you in high school now?” Caleb asked Nathan, “Do you play any sports?”
“Yes, I’m in high school, and does it look like I play sports?”
“You stopped playing baseball?” I asked.
“Yeah, I should try out for track though. I’m definitely good at running away from people who want to kick my ass,” Nathan said.
“Nathan, that’s not funny. You need to report those people,” my dad said.
“Why? Who cares? Anyway, did you know Peyton is a TA at my school?”
Silence swept over the table.
“Cool,” I said, having no idea what he was talking about, as he grinned at me.
“Excuse yourself from the table, Nathan,” My dad said, narrowing his eyebrows at Nathan.
“What?” Nathan laughed, “It’s true.”
“Now,” my dad said.
He rolled his eyes, got up from the table, and exited the front door.
“We should probably be going, but thank you for having us over. It was good to see everyone,” I said, standing and lifting my plate from the table.
“Oh, leave it there. I’ll clean it up,” Olivia stated, putting her hand out.
“It’s been so great to see you, Danielle. I can’t tell you how happy I was when Dr. Joy called,” I stifled a laugh, imagining how Joyce must have introduced herself, “I was scared I’d never see you again.”
“I’m glad I came,” I said.
He walked us out, and we exchanged hugs and handshakes. Nathan had positioned himself on the banister of the porch, resting his back against a post and dangling one leg. He waved, as I walked toward the car. My heart ached as I walked away, I missed my little brother deeply, and he seemed to have all but moved on without me- as he was forced to do. Caleb started up the truck, and put it into drive. He began to take off, but moments later, came to a halt.
“Forget something?” I asked, looking over at him. He nodded toward my window. I had been resting my elbow on the door armrest, when it gave way as Nathan opened the door. I looked up at him, confused. He leaned in the car and grabbed me with both arms to hug me. As he hugged me, I stepped down from the truck to hug him back. He hugged me for several moments in silence.
“I did miss you. Don’t be such a stranger,” he said.
“I missed you, too, Nathan.”
He took a step back and glanced over his shoulder. He lifted the bottom of his shirt and pulled out an envelope that had been folded in half with my name across the middle. He handed it to me and I surveyed it, noticing it was still sealed, but it felt familiar in my hand.
“It’s from mom. I found it that day. . . I got one too,” he said, glancing off toward the sun. “I wasn’t trying to hide it from you. I was just trying to find the right time to give it to you. It's always been hard to find the right time with you.”
With guilt setting in at his last words, I began to wonder if he had read it and somehow resealed it, but just as the thought tried to cross my mind, he said, “I didn’t read it, I just kept it because I didn’t want anyone else to read it. The things she wrote in mine. . . I know they were just meant for me. I can only assume the same about yours.”
“Thank you,” I said, almost speechless, then found the words surfacing like water in drenched shoes, “I’m so sorry for leaving, Nathan.”
He shoved his hands in his front pockets and looked at me with a combination of coldness, desperation, and curiosity, “Are you though?”
We drove in silence most of the way back as I let the encounter process in my mind. Things had changed so much in
