“I’m kissing my girl,” he tells me before his mouth steals mine, and his warmth envelopes me. I know we have a long night ahead of us, since he’s asked me to stay the night.
Even though his tongue duels with mine, he’s holding back. I can feel it. His hands grip my hips, and Julian pulls away to look at me. His gaze locks on mine and, in the dark, I notice the trepidation in his eyes. I can’t tell if it’s me, or us, but I know something’s on his mind. All I can do is hope he tells me what it is.
I’m not a fan of secrets, especially when we’re getting to know each other so well. And deep down, I tell myself I’m imagining things. But then again, my gut has never been wrong.
Chapter 20
Julian
Taking Nea to dinner with Eli and Kate has me on edge. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s the constant nagging in the back of my mind that they may not like her, but it makes no sense. I’ve found her to be someone who seems to have people gravitate toward her. I think it’s more what’s racing through my mind that’s bothering me. I got a call this morning that I need to talk to her about, but I want to do the dinner first before I fuck this all up.
When we arrive, I pull into the drive and kill the engine.
“I’m nervous. I know I’ve met them before, but I just feel anxious. What if they don’t like me?” Nea wrings her hands in her lap, and I can tell she’s really worried about Eli and Kate liking her. They’re my friends, but when they see how happy she makes me, I know they’ll only love her as much as I do. Each day, I find myself falling deeper under her spell. I haven’t told her how I feel yet, but deep down, I know that this girl will tenderly hold my heart in her hands if I gave it to her.
“They will like you, Nea. Don’t worry about it,” I tell her. Leaning in, I cup her face in my hands, pulling her closer to press my lips to hers. The softness of Nea is everything I need and crave daily. Even though I’ve only known her for a couple of weeks, this feels like so much more.
The door slides open when I buzz the bell, and Kate smiles at us as she greets me first. “Hey Julian. It’s so good to see you.” She turns her attention to Nea and pulls her in for a hug as she says, “It’s so nice of you to come. And we can get to know each other outside of you having to work.”
“Thank you for having me,” Nea says, and I can tell her nerves have eased slightly because her shoulders seem to go slack. We’re led through the entrance and into the living room. “Your home is exquisite.” Nea’s gaze trails over the furnishings and architecture with a grin on her face.
Just then, Eli saunters in, shakes my hand, and gives Nea a hug. “Good to see you both. Kate’s been prepping dinner all afternoon, so I hope you’re hungry,” he tells us.
“Man, I could eat for three right now,” I tell him, chuckling when Kate laughs out loud. She’s known me for a while, so nothing I say is ever a shock to her anymore. When we first met, I thought she wouldn’t accept my sense of humor, but she did, and we get along so well.
“Nea, why don’t you come and help me in the kitchen,” Kate suggests, and the two ladies head off, leaving Eli and me in the living room.
“Drink?” Eli offers. “Beer, cider, and Kate has some wine.”
“Beer sounds good, thanks.” He disappears for a short while and returns with two bottles, handing me one before he settles on the sofa.
“So, you two are hitting it off?”
“We are. I like her. She’s different, so very different from Shay. I feel happy for the first time in a long while.”
“You look it,” Eli says, tipping his beer toward me. “So, have you told her about your past?”
“I guess. Not too much. You know I have trouble opening up. I’m sure she’ll have seen some information online, the bare minimum that’s there.”
“That’s not the same thing as hearing it from you,” he tells me, and I know he’s right, but it worries me. Being open and honest with someone is new to me. With Shay, she didn’t give a shit if I’d killed someone as long as I could finance her shopping sprees.
“I know. I don’t doubt that for a second, but to talk about my past like that, I just don’t know if I can go through it. Yeah, my marriage was a sham, a stupid mistake, and I don’t want to put that on her shoulders, not yet.”
“I get it, but with Kate, I knew honesty was the best policy, even if it was difficult to talk about. Sometimes, it’s the hardest conversations that bring about the closeness you need. I’m not saying you should tell her you love her yet or anything, but if she knows where you’re coming from, maybe it will make it easier on her to understand who you are. Also, since you said Shay’s returning to NOLA, it’s best that Nea knows before she walks through the door.”
“You know, Eli, sometimes you make a lot of sense. Doesn’t happen often, but when you do, you sound so much older than me.” My teasing earns me a “Fuck off,” and we both chuckle. I have to think about how to broach the subject of my crazy ex-wife and her antics.
Perhaps Nea wouldn’t even care that my ex-wife is coming here. But even as I think
