Her play was that the paperwork wasn’t real, and we’re actually still married, but I haven’t even told Eli that. He knows Shay is on her way here, but not that we’re still husband and wife. And that sets me on edge.
“Dinner is ready,” Kate calls from the dining table, and Eli and I head over to find a spread fit for a king.
“This looks amazing,” I tell her. It’s the truth. I can’t do much in the kitchen, so this is a treat. Nea and I have yet to really use my kitchen and enjoy a home-cooked dinner together. Perhaps we can do that once my ex-wife is out of the picture for good.
“So, Nea says you’re painting more than usual,” Kate broaches the subject, looking at me as we tuck into our meal.
I nod. “Yeah, I’ve enjoyed having inspiration hit. The show you saw was just the start. I’m going to hopefully have new canvasses done soon, and we can perhaps have another show.
“It’s good to see you back,” Eli tells me, then glances at Nea. “You’re a good influence on him.”
Nea blushes at the compliment, which only makes me smile. I love watching her cheeks turn pink. It just makes her even more beautiful. She’s a unique beauty.
“Thank you,” she says shyly. I love how different she is. She’s confident in her work, but at times, she is the shy girl who has come to steal my heart. I don’t know if it’s love, but I know one thing is for sure. She’s someone I need and want in my life for a long time.
“Just watch him, though. He can be an asshole at times.” Eli chuckles before popping a forkful of food into his mouth.
“Watch it, Boudreaux. I’ll make you choke on it.” I gesture with my chin toward his plate, which has both of us laughing out loud and the girls just shaking their heads.
The banter continues through dessert until it’s time for us to leave. I can tell both Kate and Eli like Nea, which is great. Even though I don’t spend a lot of time with them, it means a lot that they like the woman in my life.
“That was nice,” Nea says when we’re on our way home. I’m not taking her back to her apartment; I’m taking her to the house because I want her to stay tonight. I haven’t told her why, and even though I know I should, I don’t.
“I told you they’d like you. I don’t know why you were worried.” I cast a quick glance at her before turning my attention back on the road.
“You were right.”
I can’t help smiling. Today went well. And I hope this evening will be filled with orgasms and no tears. At least for her. I haven’t told Nea why I’ve been trying to stay busy today. Even though we had the dinner tonight, I had focused all my energy on getting the gallery ready for the next exhibit. And even as I did that, I was at war with myself, knowing I would have to have a conversation with her tonight. That I’m going to have to tell her about what’s about to storm into our lives.
“Are you okay?” Nea’s question drags me from the impending darkness, and I drag my gaze toward her before I turn to look at what she’s gesturing at. My hands are twisted around the steering wheel so tightly, my knuckles are white. I didn’t even notice, but deep down, the way my stomach has twisted is evidence enough that I’m anxious.
“Yeah, fine.” The lie slips easily from my tongue, and I inwardly admonish myself. She doesn’t need my lies. And she definitely doesn’t need me making excuses. Nea has been good to me, and even though I am still worried about bringing my darkness on her, I know I have to give her honesty. And as if she’s reading my mind, she calls me out on it.
“I can tell when you’re lying.” I can feel her eyes burning through me, but I don’t turn to her. I can’t face her. Pulling up the driveway, I stop outside the house. Nea doesn’t ask why I brought her here, and I don’t speak. In a way, she’s giving me a reason to admit my pain, but I can’t bring myself to do it. All these years, I’ve hidden behind the articles and reviews I’ve written. Even when I had Shay, I hid in my studio.
I shouldn’t do it to Nea. She deserves better.
“Let’s go inside, and we can talk,” I finally say to her. She doesn’t look impressed with my suggestion, but after a moment, Nea nods, and we exit the vehicle.
She walks ahead of me. There’s a space between us, not a physical one, but an emotional one. And it’s got me tense. What I have to tell her isn’t going to go down well, and I have a feeling that even before this has had a chance to start, it could be coming to an end.
The moment we step inside the house, Nea makes a beeline for the sofa, curling up on the cushions but keeping her gaze trained on the window.
I settle beside her, but she scoots up before turning to look at me. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“What?” My brows furrow in confusion. “No. Why would I do that?”
“You said we need to talk, Julian.” Her tone is biting, and I don’t blame her. I did say that, but when I did, I never realized how it would sound to her.
“We do, but it’s more just me telling you about my past, about something that’s happening, and I needed to speak to you, so you don’t freak out about it.”
Her eyebrows lift toward her hairline, her eyes widen, and her mouth
