Chapter Eleven
All the time Jess is home, I endeavour to put on a brave face, but when she goes back to uni, my mood dips. Unless it’s the police or Jess, I let my calls go to voicemail, wanting to be left alone. When Cath unexpectedly turns up, I’m less than happy.
When I open the door, she stands in the doorway, the frown on her face indicating she’s clearly irritated. ‘I’ve been worried about you. You could at least have let me know you’re OK.’ She sounds more annoyed than sympathetic, but then she has come all the way from Bristol.
I close the door behind her. ‘You know how it is. Jess was home over Christmas. Since she went back, I needed some time alone.’
‘How can I know when you don’t talk to me?’ Her voice softens. ‘I may not have wanted your help, but you were on my case the whole time I was going through it.’
I shake my head. ‘You don’t know what’s been going on.’ I pause, looking at her – she’s my friend, she’ll want to know. And I can’t go on keeping it to myself. ‘I’ve found out Matt’s been leading a double life.’
‘What?’ Her eyes widen, then she frowns. ‘No. I can’t believe that.’
‘I’ll fill you in.’ As I start walking towards the kitchen, Cath follows me. ‘Around the time he disappeared, the police received a call from another woman – reporting a man missing. She had photos – of him, of them together. It was definitely Matt. Apparently, he told her he was about to leave me for her.’ I can’t keep the bitterness out of my voice. ‘He was waiting to find the right moment – at least, that’s what she told the police.’
‘Oh, Amy …’ Cath’s voice is full of sympathy. ‘No wonder you went to ground. But I wish you’d told me. Honestly, I can’t believe he’d do this to you.’
Nodding, I swallow the lump in my throat. ‘Right now, I’ve no idea what to believe. There’ve been so many lies – about the night he disappeared, the time he’d been taking off work, presumably to see her. He’d even insured our wedding without mentioning it to me. He’d obviously known we were going to be cancelling it. And in all this, I still don’t know where he is. I don’t even know if he’s alive.’
‘He really is a bastard.’ Cath’s silent for a moment. ‘Do you have any idea who this woman is?’
Feeling my jaw clench, I shake my head again. ‘The police won’t tell me.’
‘You need to find out – perhaps they could bring the two of you together? Between you, you might be able to work out where he is.’
‘I’ve asked. But the police won’t give out her identity.’ Not knowing who she is, eats away at me. Filling the kettle, I switch it on. ‘Tea?’
‘Thanks. This woman … she must know who you are – from Matt.’ Cath speaks bluntly. ‘Maybe she’ll turn up here – in fact, I’m surprised she hasn’t. She must be as curious as you are.’
‘It doesn’t change anything, does it?’ Fetching a couple of mugs, my voice is bitter. ‘If she’s telling the truth, he was planning to leave me.’
‘If?’ Cath sounds astonished.
I hesitate, but only briefly, because I no longer have doubts. ‘To start with, I wondered if she might have been lying. She could have been obsessive – or a stalker even, doing whatever it took to get between us. But the police were never in any doubt that her story was more believable than mine.’ I shrug. ‘And now there’s too much evidence that she’s telling the truth. He was definitely cheating on me.’
‘What kind of evidence?’ Cath looks puzzled.
‘Photos and CCTV that corroborate her story,’ I say bleakly. ‘Plus there’s the time he’s taken off from work.’ I think of the lies he told me about seeing clients. My voice hardens. ‘But until he turns up, I‘m stuck without answers. Hardly fair, is it, when I’m the one he was supposed to be marrying.’ As my words tail off, there’s a lump in my throat.
‘Stop being such a victim.’ Her words are tinged with annoyance. ‘If this is true, he’s a complete shit. You’re better off without him.’
My hackles rise. It’s too close to what Jess said. It’s also the first time she’s ever talked about Matt like that. ‘I’m realising that. But no-one actually knows the whole story yet.’
‘He’s cheated on you. That tells you all you need to know about him.’ Getting up, Cath starts piling dirty plates and glasses into the sink. ‘I can’t understand why you’re not furious with him.’
‘I have been angry. I still am.’ My voice is sharp, but she doesn’t understand my rollercoaster of emotions; how I swing from fear and grief, to shock and denial, to raging anger.
‘You should be,’ she says pointedly. ‘You know more than enough to decide never to have any more to do with him.’
But she’s missing something. ‘Cath. What if he’s dead?’
‘He’s still cheated on you.’ She pauses. ‘Let the police deal with it. Move on. Get over him.’ She glances around the kitchen. ‘I suppose all his clothes are still upstairs?’
I nod, thinking of the clothes left in piles after I finished going through them, as I make two mugs of tea and take them over to the table.
Coming over and sitting down, she shrugs. ‘Get rid of them – put them in the loft or something. Or burn them – he deserves it. If he was about to shack up with this woman, he probably has more clothes at her place. It’s not like he’s ever moving back here. If he tries to, you’re going to tell him where to go, aren’t you?’ She searches my face. ‘He deserves no sympathy whatsoever from you.’
As I sit opposite her, I remember something else she doesn’t know. ‘The day after Matt disappeared, remember you came here for lunch? After you
