Had I listened to my grandfather and treaded carefully, none of this would have happened. And what made it hurt so bad, was that I think Gabe realized it too in the end. I will never forget when his gaze settled on me in that garage and he yelled out in rage with his hands covered in Mac’s blood. It was like in that moment he too knew that my grandfather had been right, and my looks were in fact cursed. Because in that moment he realized that his love for me had ruined his life.
Once that reality settled in, I fell into a depression so deep I could not get out of bed. Both Gabrielle and Kenny worried about me, but for the life of me I couldn’t get up. All my muscles felt weighed down with it. I just wanted to lay there with my head buried underneath the covers and die. The only thing preventing it was knowing I carried the last of Gabe in my womb. I could not be that selfish. I would not.
I can’t tell you how much time passed. I stopped keeping track. All I know is that night turned into day, and day back into night. I didn’t want to get up to go to the doctor, so Gabrielle got him to come to me. She brought me food and ran me a bath every day. Kenny came by from time to time to check on me. But outside of that, I had no contact with anybody else.
Becoming this hermit made me feel closer to Gabe. Now I understood why he was like that. There was comfort in being surrounded by your own thoughts, even if your own thoughts bore witness against you.
“Yasmin.”
I snuggled deeper in the covers.
“Yasmin, girl you got to get up!”
Hmmm… I was dreaming about Stacy.
“Yasmin…” Someone touched my hip waking me fully. I turned over to see who it was and had to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.
“Stacy?” I asked, my voice hoarse from sleep. She smiled sadly at me from where she sat next to me on my bed. Goodness, I didn’t even hear her come in.
“What are you doing girl?” The condescending tone in her voice caused me to fall back against the pillow, tears came to my eyes.
“You were right. This is all my fault.” She smacked her lips.
“Don’t be putting words in my mouth. I never said this was your fault at all.”
“You didn’t have to. You just stopped talking to me.” She exhaled.
“I stopped talking to everybody. Shoot, I was like you, laying in my bed refusing to get up… till Kenny came and yelled at me.”
Hmmm, I dried my eyes.
“Kenny yelled at you?” She chuckled without humor.
“Yeah, he said I was breaking mama’s heart cause with me withdrawing into myself like that, made her feel as if she had lost two children instead of one. He said he won’t tolerate me doing that to her.” I narrowed my eyes. It was something about that look she wore.
“Stacy?”
“Hmmm…” She picked away invisible lent from my cover.
“What else happened between you and Kenny?” A ghost of a smile crossed her beautiful face.
“He said that I had to get out of the house, so… he made me go to lunch with him a couple of times.” As she spoke she stared down at her fingers that continued to pick away at that lent. I sat up in the bed, resting my back against the headboard.
“What else?”
“And… he forced me to go to dinner a few times.”
Oh… my… goodness! I couldn’t stop the kool-aid grin that was fighting to control my lips.
“What else Stacy?”
“Then he made dinner for me at his place…” She was killing me! Why was she stalling like this? I grabbed her hand to stop her from picking the lent. When her eyes rose to mine there was true happiness there.
“And now, we’re dating!” She said. I began screeching before she could even finish. I yelled so loud my mother-in-law stuck her head in the room.
“Everything alright mija?” When she saw the smile on my face she opened the door and came all the way in.
“Oh! thank God!”
Yes, thank God indeed! Finding out that Stacy and Kenny had found happiness together got me out of bed. A resolve settled over me. Time for feeling sorry for myself was over. I had to live for my babies; and if happiness was forever dead to me, then I at the very least needed to seek contentment.
So….
In my ninth month of pregnancy, against my doctor, Gabrielle, Kenny and Stacy’s wishes, I packed up my stuff and moved back to the farm. The day I left was a very emotional one. Of course, Gabrielle insisted on coming with me. But it was the others who also insisted that brought tears to my eyes.
Flint, Spooky and Spider surprised me by loading their luggage in another truck. I didn’t want to fly so Jerome had agreed to drive us there. I was not surprised when he loaded his luggage in the trunk. Frowning, I turned to look at Flint.
“Are you guys leaving as well?” He nodded.
“Our father served Gabriel’s dad. One day, our sons will serve his. If you’re moving to the farm then so are we.” I brought my hand to my lips. I didn’t know how to respond to that.
“You guys don’t have to do that, y’all city folks. Being uprooted like that is going to be hard.” Jerome shrugged.
“We’re adaptable Yas. Each of us owes Gabe our lives. There is no way we’re going to let his wife and children be unprotected.” He shook his head. “Not for a minute, you got our loyalty for life!” I was astonished. I did wonder why they were still here after no word from Gabe. The others in Gabe’s security detail had long gone. I just assumed that it was because the mansion was their home as well. I never imagined that
