He reached out to touch the platinum band. “You never took it off.”
Her eyes jerked up to his, startled. “No. I…” she stopped, thinking about the statement. “I couldn’t take it off.” Was that significant? She’d had a brief moment when she’d considered it, but in the end, she’d simply overlooked the ring on her finger and everything that it symbolized.
“I’m glad.” He lifted his own hand where his simple platinum band glimmered. “I couldn’t either. I was so angry with myself and the world, and furious with you for pushing me away when I needed you the most, but I couldn’t take off my wedding band, Pepper. I couldn’t do it because that might have broken the connection. The last, tenuous hold that I’d had on that elusive happiness that you’d brought into my life.”
Pepper smiled at his words. It wasn’t her old smile. In fact, her cheeks felt a bit stiff, but it felt good to try.
He held out a chair for her and she looked around. “Did you get a cleaning crew in here?” she asked, noticing that the garbage had been taken out and the counters cleaned, the dishwasher emptied, and…was that a bowl of fresh fruit on the counter?
“No. I didn’t want a cleaning crew to wake you.”
He served her a piece of lemony grilled chicken, and some pasta with an interesting scent that she couldn’t quite define. He opened another carton, spooning a large amount of freshly cut fruit onto her plate.
Then his words hit her. “Wait, did you clean my loft?” she asked, stunned and disbelieving.
He served himself some food, adding broccoli to the corner of his plate instead of fruit. The broccoli looked vibrantly green and healthy, but Pepper thought it was very sweet that he didn’t attempt to convince her to eat it. She wouldn’t and he knew it. Still, the fruit was a nice touch. And yeah, she needed the nutrients. She’d been living off of dry cereal and the occasional takeout. She definitely hadn’t been drinking enough water or…anything. Coffee. That was it. She’d consume copious amounts of coffee to keep herself awake.
He hadn’t answered her and she placed a hand on his. “You cleaned my loft, didn’t you?”
He looked at her, but still didn’t answer. “Eat. You’re too thin, Pepper.”
She smiled at his non-answer, which was all the answer she needed. The big, tough guy was actually a big, ole softy underneath all of those rough layers. She liked that, Pepper thought. Josh was like that. Sloane was one of the few people that had seen underneath Josh Starke’s gruff exterior, and for years, Pepper had known that she wanted the same kind of man. Someone who didn’t take crap from anyone, who was big and mean enough to take on the world, with a soft, compassionate inner core.
Wow, she thought, smiling to herself as she cut up her chicken. She’d gotten exactly what she wanted in a man. Then her smile faltered.
“What just happened?” he demanded, his fork paused midway to his mouth. “Why are you frowning again?”
Looking up, she was startled by the fury on his face. “Why are you angry with me?”
He sighed and tried to clear his expression. “I’m not angry with you, Pepper. I’m trying to understand how to help you. But one moment, you’re smiling and looking as if you’re coming back to me. The next moment, you’re scowling and about to burst into tears again.”
Pepper put her knife and fork down and took a deep breath. “Dimitri, I can’t…”
He shook his head, waving his hand through the air. “You can! We will! Together.” He said the words so adamantly, she almost believed him. And that caused her to smile.
“You think you’re a force of nature, don’t ya?” she teased, and she watched as his shoulders relaxed.
“I am,” he replied, gesturing to her food. “I am your force.”
Pepper really liked the sound of that. She took a bite of the chicken, sighing contentedly as she savored the rich flavors. Butter, rosemary and lemon. Perfect!
That night, he took her to bed and held her in his arms. “I love you,” he whispered, moments before she drifted off to sleep. “I love you too,” she replied. And for the first time in a long time, she allowed the warmth of his love to surround her.
Epilogue
Pepper held the plastic stick, her fingers trembling almost uncontrollably. She didn’t want to look. What if it was positive? What if it was negative? What would she do? How would she feel?
“Pepper?” Dimitri’s strong, powerful voice came through the door to the bathroom.
“I’m fine,” she told him.
The door opened and he stepped in, watching her with those dark eyes that, even after three years of marriage, still had the power to send her heart pounding.
Yes, her heart had recovered after that first pregnancy. The gaping hole where she’d thought she’d lost her heart so long ago had healed and she knew that her heart was still there. Still pounding so hard she could feel it against her ribs.
“What does it say?” he asked gently.
She stood there by the sink, her heart racing as she held the stick. “I can’t look at it.”
His dark eyes softened and he moved closer. He pulled her into his arms, not even glancing at the pregnancy test. Instead, he just held her. Pepper leaned her cheek against his chest, listening to his heartbeat and she smiled as she realized that his heart was pounding rapidly as well. He was nervous? Impossible! Dimitri didn’t get nervous!
Then she remembered him banging on her door that morning so long ago. He’d been nervous then. For her. He’d loved her, she thought. He still loved her! Every day, he showed her in small ways that he
