“I don’t—”
“You called it a mistake.” Casey shook her head and lifted herhands in a hopeless gesture.
“I don’t regret the connection, both physical and emotional, thatI felt with you today. But that means the whole day, not just the sex. If thesex jeopardizes my chance to have any kind of relationship with you, maybe itwas a mistake. But it’s one we’ve already made, so if we can move past it and stillhave something substantial, it will have been worth it.”
“What does substantial mean? What are you asking me for?”
“I don’t know.” Jacqueline shrugged, at a loss herself. “Thetruth is, we don’t have just ourselves to consider.”
“I need time to think.” Casey folded her arms across her chestgently, as if protecting herself rather than in anger.
“Can we talk in a couple of days?” She wanted a timeline.
“I’ll call you.”
Jacqueline nodded, then slipped through the door and down thewalk to her car. During the drive back to her condo, she rolled the windowsdown, turned on the radio, and did her best to drown out her own thoughts. Shewould spend plenty of time analyzing this night, but she didn’t need to rushthat process. For now, she hoped that sticking around and baring her emotionswould be enough to keep from losing Casey altogether.
Chapter Nineteen
Sunday morning, Jacqueline sipped a heavenly Bloody Mary,perfectly crafted with just the right amount of heat. She relaxed in awrought-iron chair, soaking in the warmth of the sun on her arms and neck.Instead of scooting into the shade of the umbrella overhead, she slipped on hersunglasses.
“Does Gavin know we’re here? Won’t he be jealous?” She’d beensurprised when Kendra suggested they check out the brunch at the new spot inSoBro that boasted a James Beard award-winning chef.
“I’m just assessing the competition. I’ll report back to him andwe’ll call it research.”
“Well, tell him the Bloody Marys get two thumbs up.” Jacquelineraised her glass. “And I made that plural because I fully intend to drink morethan one.”
“Any particular reason?”
“Um, because they’re delicious.” She took another sip todemonstrate her point and to keep from giving a more detailed answer. Afteryesterday, she shouldn’t have accepted Kendra’s invitation to brunch.Overindulging in alcohol was also a very bad idea in her current state of mind.“We had this amazing day together yesterday.”
“We did?” Kendra smirked at her.
“Casey and I.”
“Yeah, I figured.” Kendra lifted her mimosa, but instead oftaking a drink, she gave Jacqueline a contemplative look. “So why, after this amazing day, are you somiserable?”
“We argued.”
“That’s not new. What happened?”
“Order whatever you want to try, and we’ll share.” Jacquelinewaved away the menu when Kendra tried to pass it to her.
Kendra gave their order to the young waiter. Jacqueline raisedher nearly empty glass, silently asking for another, and he nodded. When he’dleft, Kendra turned back to Jacqueline.
“We slept together, and then I told her it was a mistake.”
Kendra coughed, then set her glass down and stared at Jacqueline.“What are you doing?”
“I really don’t know.”
“If you needed a punch in the gut, you could have called me.”
Jacqueline chuckled. “You’d punch me?”
“I wouldn’t enjoy it.” Kendra propped her elbow on the table andleaned forward, studying Jacqueline with far too much intensity. “How’s Caseytoday?”
“I don’t—she sort of kicked me out.”
“So you had sex with her, then left? Your usual MO then?”Kendra’s voice dripped with sarcasm and more bitterness than Jacquelineexpected.
“That’s not fair.”
“What were you thinking?”
“Clearly, I wasn’t.” Jacqueline set her glass down, suddenly toonauseated to drink. “You’re the one who’s always pushing me to move thingsforward with her.”
“Yeah, I said talk to her. Not screw her and desert her.”
Though she’d been berating herself since yesterday afternoon, nowshe felt compelled to defend herself. She rubbed her finger between hereyebrows. “I did try. After she asked me to leave, I stayed and we talked, alittle.”
“Damn, I can’t imagine how she’s feeling today. I need to callher.”
“Can you care for just a second about what I’m experiencing? Youknow how I feel about her, Kendra. And yesterday—I wasn’t exaggerating—it wasone of the best days I’ve had in so long. And I’m not just talking about thesex. We were hanging out, just the two of us, and it was so relaxing and reallya good time.”
“Then tell me what happened.” Kendra still looked skeptical.
“You want to make me the villain here. But she kissed me. Then Ibacked off. But when I dropped her off at her house, I asked her if I couldcome in to talk.”
“I’m sure you were only interested in talking.”
“Come on, Kendra, stop looking at me like that. She came on tome. I couldn’t—” Jacqueline’s phone buzzed a text notification. She glanced atthe screen, then set it down with a sigh.
“Casey?”
She shook her head. “Marti. I’m going to Atlanta next week tomeet with Owen about some recent issues, and she wants to get together.”
“Are you still sleeping with her?”
“No.”
“Does Marti know that?”
“Yes. Well, maybe. We left it in a weird place last time. But Ihaven’t slept with anyone in a while.”
“Until last night.”
“Yeah.”
“So are you meeting Marti?”
“Probably.”
“And you think that’s a good idea?”
“I owe her a conversation.”
“I thought they were just hookups. No attachment.”
“They are. Were. But Marti—”
“Do you have feelings for her?” Kendra’s expression grew fierce,protective, but not of Jacqueline. Apparently everyone in Jacqueline’s lifefelt they needed to protect Casey from her.
“Yes. But not like you mean. I care about her. If circumstanceswere different, I think we could be friends. But I love Casey.”
Jacqueline sat back and waited while the waiter deposited platesin front of each of them. She stared at the fried-egg sandwich with bacon andavocado. Kendra had actually called her order pretty well. It looked like thekind of thing she’d normally choose. But today, she had no appetite. Kendra’spulled-pork omelet looked even less appealing.
“You’ve probably blown any second chances with Casey.” Kendralaid her napkin across her lap and picked up her fork. “How did you two leaveit?”
“I told her I didn’t want to lose her, even if we only havefriendship.
