“I could,” said Kalen, “but I won’t.”
“Why not?” I had been quite sure he would go along with me.
“Because I don’t particularly want to get myself killed.” Kalen stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. “I really don’t think you should do this, Aurora. You should go to Elfi with your granduncle and meet your grandmother. I’m sure together you will all be able to figure out a way to get the Dagger back and free your mother. You can’t do this on your own.”
“Then come with me,” I pleaded.
I really did need someone with me; I was apprehensive about going alone. But I had to do this, I had to find my mother. She expected me to. She was counting on me; I was the only one who could manage this. Morgana would be looking for me elsewhere. She would never think to look for me under her very nose. Kalen and I could disguise ourselves and pose as brother and sister. I had some money saved from what Aunt Serena had given me, and Kalen knew all the roads leading to the capital city of Illiador. It would be a long journey, but we could stay at inns along the way or camp outdoors if we had to. I couldn’t take Snow with me, since she would be too conspicuous.
Kalen’s expression was very stern. “You are really going to do this?”
I nodded, saying nothing more. I moved to the dresser and went back to packing my things.
“Fine, then I shall go with you,” he announced after not too many moments of careful pondering. “Did you know that Rafe said I could take anything I wanted from the armory? I got myself a new bow with a whole quiver of arrows and everything. And I have been learning to use a sword with Erien when he trains.”
I smiled. Kalen was still the same—a little taller than when I had first met him, but he hadn’t changed, and I was glad. He was a good friend, and I was secretly relieved that he was coming with me. At least I would have someone to talk to on the long journey, and although I was pretty confident that I could protect myself and Kalen if it came to it, I had absolutely no idea how to get there.
That night, Kalen fetched me from my room.
“What did you say to the guards?” I asked.
“Didn’t say anything,” shrugged Kalen, “I used one of my mother’s sleeping potions on them.”
My eyebrows flew up. “You drugged the palace guards?”
Kalen scrunched his forehead. “Well, how were you planning on leaving your room without four guards following you all the time?”
I shook my head. “No, you’re right.” He was being practical. “Now where?”
I crept out of my room and past the sleeping guards. Kalen must have given them a strong dose, as they were all snoring away with happy looks on their faces.
The night was dark, and a chilly wind had crept into the palace corridors. Lightning flashed overhead as I adjusted my brown cloak and covered my head. I wore riding breeches and leather boots with a long shirt under a fitted brown leather vest and belted at the waist. I carried the sword that Rafe had given me, and I had even strapped a knife in my boot, just like he did. I wanted to try to pass for a boy, so I tied my long dark hair back and hid it under my hood.
“We will go through the servants’ quarters and out through the kitchen,” said Kalen in a whisper as we moved silently through the dark hallways, intermittently illuminated by a flash of lightning.
“Do you know where it is?” I asked, feeling foolish. I couldn’t even manage to get myself out of the palace. How was I going to get to Illiador?
Kalen nodded, and I followed.
“Going somewhere?” said a voice from the shadows. I jumped, but I knew who it was.
“Rafe,” I whispered, “you almost scared me to death.”
He pushed himself away from the wall he was leaning on and stepped into the light. His eyes quickly scanned the scene in front of him as he took in my choice of attire and traveling satchel.
“You were leaving without saying goodbye.” It wasn’t a question, and his voice had an edge to it that I hadn’t heard before.
I looked down at my feet. What could I say? If I had to say goodbye to him, I would never leave. It was better that I went away and saved myself the heartache that would surely come when I saw him marry someone else. Either way, I had to leave. Even if I went to Elfi, I would probably never see him again.
“Goodbye, Rafe.” I tried to sound like I didn’t care.
Rafe ignored me. “Kalen, are you helping her in this foolishness?”
Kalen looked embarrassed. “She was going to leave alone,” he said finally. “I decided that someone should go with her.”
Rafe suddenly took two quick steps toward me, caught my arms, and pulled me to him. Our faces were so close, our noses almost touching, but he didn’t kiss me. His breath smelled of alcohol.
“Have you been drinking?” I asked breathlessly.
I could never think when he came so close to me. I wished he wouldn’t do that anymore. It was getting harder and harder to resist him, and my conscience was slowly being bludgeoned to death by the persistent little voice that kept telling me not to give him up.
“Maybe,” he said roughly. “Why do you ask? It’s not like you care.”
I wiggled out of his grasp, and he let me go. “You’re right,” I lied blatantly, “I don’t care.”
I had to push him away. I had to make him think I didn’t love him, and then he would leave me alone.
“All right, then,” he said finally, straightening the cuffs on his half-open shirt. “Go, then, I
