“Hey, if you want to go back to the Complex—”
“No. I’m not letting you screw up your chance to see your kids.”
“Alex—”
“No. And I promise I won’t leave without saying goodbye.”
Dee brushes the tears from Alex’s face, but they continue to fall. “You’re saying goodbye?”
“Maybe. Maybe I am.”
“Why? Why would you do that?”
“Because there’s no place in Eatonville for me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Dee says. “I want you there,” and she finds that this time she means it. She does want her there.
Alex smiles, but it’s a pale facsimile of her real one. “I know you think that.”
Dee presses her forehead against Alex’s, and they lay like that until Alex falls asleep. Dee does not because she knows how these things work. She falls asleep, Alex sneaks out, and ends up dead. So she stays awake until dawn touches the sky and only then does she let herself doze.
When she wakes again, she is sure Alex will be gone, but she’s still there, still asleep, her eyes swollen from the tears the night before.
A soft knock on the door compels Dee to get to her feet and put on clothes. It’s Gloria with a couple plates full of food. “Thought you might be hungry. It’s clearing up out there. We ought to be able to move soon.”
“Good. Thank you.”
Gloria nods and leaves.
Dee takes the plate back inside and nudges Alex awake so they can share their breakfast.
“I’m sorry about last night,” Alex says around a mouthful of biscuit. “I wasn’t in a good place.”
Dee nods. “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry.” Alex’s smile this time is bigger, more genuine. “I really am. I … it was hard seeing them like that. So hard. I guess I expected to walk in and have the girls …” her voice wobbles on the word, “have the girls come wrap their arms around my legs. Have my brother hug me. I didn’t expect …” She trails off. “Who could, right?”
“I’m sorry,” Dee says, the words inadequate, but all she has.
“I know.” She takes another bite and another, then wipes her lips when gravy dribbles down her chin. “This is good. Gloria went all out.”
“She’s worried about you.” We all are, she thinks, but she doesn’t say it, doesn’t want to chase Alex back into her shell.
“I was worried about me too.” She sighs. “This sucks. But I’m glad we’re getting out of town.”
“If we get out.”
She smiles. “We will. We’re getting you to your boys. Come hell or high water.” She leans toward Dee, her lips puckered, and with a laugh, Dee kisses her. “Promise.”
“Thank you.” And then breakfast is forgotten because Alex pulls her in, pulls her close, pulls off the clothes Dee just put on and makes love to her again. And again, as if hoping it will help her forget everything.
And for a little while, she does.
44
Then
We didn’t even get out of South Dakota before the next snowstorm stopped us. It wasn’t as bad as the one we lost Isaac and Paisley in, but it still sucked. I drove until I heard Dan’s small gasp and his whispered, “Holy fuck.”
“What? What?”
“There. Look.”
I followed his finger and gasped myself. A big D was painted on the side of a diner. A diner with its lights on. Lights. “Oh my god,” I breathed, then yanked the wheel hard right. We were out of the truck and running for the door without even glancing around us. Lana could be in there, Owen, and nothing in the world would have stopped us from getting to the door and knocking. Knocking.
Knocking.
“Owen! Owen it’s Daddy. Daddy! Please baby.”
“What do you want?”
We both stumbled back, startled. The voice was low, rough, and all human.
“We’re looking for our people,” I said, since Dan appeared to have been struck dumb. “A woman named Lana and a boy named Owen.” I realized that we were out in the open, yelling, and I put my back to the door to look around us. Nothing. Not yet anyway. “Please?”
The door opened and I almost fell into the man’s arms who let us in. He steadied me, and I turned, looking frantically around the place. Dan’s face lit up and he almost knocked me over as he ran past me. “Owen!”
“Daddy!”
I covered my mouth with my hands as I watched them reunite, the utter impossibility of it stunning me into silence. I barely heard the door click behind me, nor did I register the old man’s hand on my shoulder as Dan and Owen hugged and cried and laughed, all at once.
“Did you say Lana?” the old guy said after a bit of time.
I nodded. “Is she here?”
“She was. We tried talking her into staying with us, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She had to get to her boys, she said. As you can see, we did get her to leave the boy.”
Boy. “What about the little girl?”
The man shook his head. “There wasn’t a little girl with them when they got here.” He gazed at me kindly. “Would you like some tea? Maybe a meal?”
“Yes, please,” I said quietly. I was upset I’d missed Lana again, but glad I had more proof she was alive. Alive and well and determined. That was my Lana.
I accepted the tea and the food: a greasy burger and French fries. It was probably the best burger I’d ever eaten and certainly the best food I’d had since the apocalypse started a thousand years ago. I ate it all in mere minutes and tamped down the urge to ask for more. I doubted these people had a ton of supplies, though none of them looked as though they were starving.
Dan had his own meal after a bit, Owen in
