I nodded and glanced at his shirt. “Why won’t you take off your shirt?” I asked compulsively. I hadn’t intended to say anything about it, but it was the one thing I couldn’t figure out. He used to walk around without a shirt at every outdoor event. He was never shy about the six pack that he worked hard to maintain. I knew he’d gotten burned from the fire that saved my son and me, but was it so bad that he thought he needed to wear a shirt?
“It will scare the kids,” he said seriously. The lack of humor in his voice broke my heart.
“You couldn’t scare the kids if you tried.”
“You haven’t seen me.”
My heart shattered at the confidence lost in such a beautiful man. “Show me.”
Ethan looked at me for a moment and shook his head. “I can’t show you,” he told me. He grabbed ahold of my hand and slowly slid it beneath his shirt. I didn’t break eye contact. The first thing I noticed was the hot ridges on his smooth stomach. My cheeks reddened as I moved to the location where he was attempting to guide my hand. As he moved my hand to his left side, I felt it. The side was not as smooth as the skin of his stomach. Inconsistent dips and grooves of his skin met my fingertips. I trailed my fingers lightly up his entire side and around his back. The entirety of his left side was destroyed. “It goes down my leg and up my shoulder.”
I didn’t know what to say. “You got that for us?” I asked.
He nodded. “It’s my job.”
I realized my fingers hadn’t left their place on his stomach, and I flinched away. I cradled my hand in my lap, unsure of how to respond. I had no idea he gave so much. I’d never blamed him for Bruce’s death, but I had also never realized that half of his body was covered in brutal scars from the fire.
“Yo, Ethan!” I turned at the shout and found three men rushing through the barbecue. Ethan’s face dropped theatrically when they neared.
“Can’t you see I’m having a conversation?” Ethan huffed, placing his hand on my knee in the way Garrett had earlier done with Sylvia.
Each of them smiled and nodded at me, all tossing “nice to meet you” in my direction. “Half the family is in the pond and you’re sitting here?” the taller, dark skinned man asked, playfully punching his shoulder. “Come on grandpa.” He looked much younger than Ethan, and I laughed.
“Gain some damned weight, Nehemiah,” Ethan chastised, pounding his slender stomach. The boy had clearly worked out heavily, but he was slender.
“If you’d stock the fire station with enough food for a shift, I’d gain some weight.”
“Or hire a chef so we can have dinner one or two nights a week,” another man chimed in. He clutched a can of beer in his hands, and Ethan chuckled.
“I don’t run the station shit. Talk to Scott,” Ethan said, gesturing to the third man. Ethan reached forward and took the nearly full beer from the man’s hand. “Benji, stop being a dumbass. You’re on duty.”
“Yeah Benji, stop being a dumb fuck,” the youngest repeated.
The man I assumed to be Scott elbowed Nehemiah. “There are ladies present. Apologize.”
I received a half-hearted apology and I smiled. “If you all want dinner a couple nights a week, I’d be happy to bring some stuff and cook for you guys,” I offered.
Ethan shook his head. “These guys just like to complain. They can cook for themselves.”
“Not when we’re being run ragged damn near every night,” Nehemiah corrected. “I’m going for a swim with or without you, boys.”
“I’m in,” Benji said, stripping his shirt in a fluid motion. Unlike all the fit men around him, he rocked a bit of extra weight. I had no doubt that despite it, he could do his job as well as any of them.
They sprinted toward the pond and cannon-balled into it. I scanned the surface and found Derrick quickly. He seemed to enjoy swimming the few feet between Sylvia and Garrett while they had a loud conversation over him. I looked back at Scott. If Ethan claimed he was the boss, I’d listen. “I’d really like to cook you all some meals every week. It’s the least I can do for everything you do for the community,” I told him. It was also the least I could do for the department saving my son—for Ethan saving him.
Scott’s smile was genuine. “That’s very kind of you. If you’d like to do that, I can make you a schedule of when we’ll all be there,” he offered. I nodded vigorously.
“I’d love that.”
While Derrick played in the pond, laughing and splashing, I sat and spoke to the firefighters who were present the night my world went up in flames. For once, I wasn’t distracted by the sadness of Bruce’s memory.
Chapter Four
I inspected Ethan’s house the beginning of that week, though he wasn’t home. I wondered if he’d attempt to be home when I worked. I found myself hoping for that to be the case as I sat at home and brooded over all of our interactions. He’d shown definite interest, but in friendship or more? I knew that I wasn’t ready to feel for another man for quite a while. Was three years long enough to mourn Bruce’s memory?
I doubted it.
I finally brought Derrick to daycare before meeting with Sylvia. It was run from a woman’s home rather than a daycare center. She had all the qualifications and dozens of excellent reviews, so I didn’t hesitate to transition daycares. During the summers when there wasn’t preschool, it was near impossible to find childcare.
I took off in the direction of Sylvia’s home, where she promised
