“That’s horrible.”
“It was his first loss on the job, so he took it hard. He blamed himself. The scars are a reminder to him, and he won’t show anybody. I think he’s afraid he’ll scare people away,” she said. She put down her chopsticks. “He had a girlfriend at the time, and they were serious. When he healed and she realized he’d never look the same, she left him. Straight told him that he wasn’t worth the trouble. He was too different—too damaged for her.”
My jaw dropped. “She did what?” I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that any woman would do that to a person. He saved a family and got scars by doing so. He was dealing with a damaged body after being a hero and saving lives. “What a bitch.”
Sylvia nodded. “As far as I’m aware, he hasn’t shown anyone his scars since. You noticed he didn’t take off his shirt at the cookout, right?”
“He let me feel them,” I told her. She froze.
“He what?”
“I felt his scars. He told me about them.” She looked at me like I had three heads.
She didn’t realize that the fire that destroyed his body and self-confidence also destroyed my husband and mental health. Ethan and I had more in common than we ever had before, but I wished he didn’t have to experience the pain as deeply as I did. His body was ruined, his girlfriend left, and his confidence shattered. I always thought I wanted a companion in my suffering, but now that I had one, it was the last thing I wanted.
Chapter Five
I didn’t have enough time to process all that I had learned before Scott sent me a text message with the firehouse schedule. They were all on duty for a one hour stretch most nights, so I decided after a long day of relaxing, I’d give back to the firefighters of Brunswick. I bought a heaping load of pasta noodles and ingredients to make alfredo before picking up Derrick from his daycare and driving straight to the fire station.
Ethan stood in the doorway as I approached. Derrick carried one of my bags while I carried the other two. Ethan ran toward us and grabbed my bags before winking at Derrick. “We don’t want mommy to ever carry anything,” he told my son.
Derrick nodded in agreement, excited to follow Ethan’s lead into the firehouse. “Thank you,” I said from behind him. Still holding the bags, Ethan went out of his way to pull the door open for me. It brought an immediate smile to my face.
He and Derrick finally entered after me and led me down a hallway and into a break room. Ethan walked slowly and allowed Derrick to follow alongside him. Derrick stood no taller than Ethan’s mid-thigh, and Ethan matched Derrick’s small steps. Derrick looked up to Ethan, mimicking even the way Ethan held his arm around the bags.
Once we reached the breakroom, they placed the bags against the counter. “What can I help with?” Ethan asked.
“I will help, too,” Derrick promised. I wondered if Ethan noticed that he had gained a shadow.
Ethan glanced down at Derrick. “You know, little man, Garrett is in there with the fire truck if you want to go say hi,” he said, gesturing toward the hallway that led into the garage part of the building.
Derrick’s eyes got wide. “There’s a whole fire truck here?”
I shooed them both away. “Go have fun. I’ll bring out the pot when it’s done.” Ethan hesitated to leave me alone, but Derrick had no qualms about pulling him away. I smiled at the boys rushing out of the room as I cooked a meal that would feed everyone. It felt great doing something to help.
An hour later, I had Ethan and Benji pull a table and chairs into the corner of the room for the meal. Ethan proceeded to carry the pot and all the bowls into the main firehouse, leaving me to carry only the plasticware, which my chivalrous five-year old proceeded to take from my hands and carry the last five feet to the table. I acted like I didn’t notice the discreet high five Ethan gave to Derrick.
All the men sat and began dishing out their portions while I waited my turn, standing a few feet from the table. I felt a hand on my back and looked to the side. “You don’t have to stand. Take a seat,” Ethan said, guiding me toward my chair. He pulled it out for me and waited until I sat down to push it closer to the table.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Surrounded by shouting men and the stench of gasoline, I was surprised to feel so tender toward Ethan. Every day I was around him, I missed his company more. I missed his friendship. Ethan smacked Benji’s hand away from the serving spoon and dished a heaping helping of alfredo before setting it in front of me. I smiled up at him as he proceeded to get a half portion for Derrick and a bowl for himself.
Ethan sat to my right and waited for me to take the first bite before he took his. Derrick insisted on sitting beside Garrett, who snuck noodles from his bowl each time he looked away. Derrick noticed occasionally and shielded his bowl with his hand for a few seconds before getting distracted again.
Then the siren went off.
All five men jumped to their feet quickly and without hesitation. Scott rushed to a screen on
