“Well, you seem more like you when you’re with Jake.”
“Do I?”
“Yeah, you do. The man is a conundrum. On one hand, he brings out the best in you. On the other hand, it’s concerning that you two are playing this waiting game over his kid.” She eyed me. “It’s bugging you to no end, isn’t it?”
“I’m exercising patience.”
“Sure you are. Meanwhile, frustration simmers under the surface, building pressure.”
“It’s fine.”
Beth lifted a hand. “Ha, right. Jake needs to get his act together. Are you sure he’s ready to be dating? How serious can you get while you’re four thousand kilometres apart?”
Well, that was the big question, wasn’t it? How could I be all in unless Jake joined me?
Shortly after ten, Beth and Greg said goodnight and headed home.
I filled the sink with hot soapy water and started washing the few dishes that hadn’t landed in the dishwasher. “You have an early morning, so go to bed.”
“You have to work at seven, no?” He selected a fresh towel from the drawer and set to work drying the moment I set a dish on the rack. “So, what’s up?”
I lifted my shoulder. “You want to discuss this now?”
“Spit it out. If this is going to work, we need to have open communication.”
I swirled the dishcloth around the pot, pausing to scrub a spot of tomato sauce. “It’s time to tell people about us. I feel like a crap friend because I’m evading Dara’s text, your little sister flat out hates me, blaming me for your disappearance after the wedding, and I’m ready to meet Sarina.”
“Ah.” He wiped the blade of my carving knife and shoved it into the butcher block before he slung the dishtowel onto the counter. “Guess I asked for that.”
“Yeah, you did.” I scrubbed harder, nibbling my lip. “Nothing to say?”
“Hey.” Jake pulled the cloth away and forced me to turn, drawing me close and cradling me against his chest, oblivious to the dishwater dripping from my soapy fingers. “Can you let this be for a little longer? I’ll talk to Luci, though, and find a way to smooth out your relationship with her.”
“How, if you won’t tell her about us?”
“Maybe I’ll just say I’m dating someone.” Jake chuckled. “That usually gets your name into the conversation.”
“Luci talks about me? What does she say?”
“That she misses you. She doesn’t really hate you, you know, but it hurt when you left, and seeing you brought up those feelings again.” He rubbed my back.
“I’ve tried to fix things. Why do you think I invited her to the club that night? She never answers my texts or messages.”
“Well, she’s a medical resident, so it might be that she’s busy.”
“For weeks? No, she told me outright. She detests me for what happened at the wedding.”
“Don’t worry. By the end of the week, she’ll be dying to call. Trust me, she just needs to see me happy. To see that I don’t blame you.”
“Why not open up about us?”
“Soon, I promise. I love you, Mare, but my life in Halifax isn’t simple. Our time together is a break from all of my responsibilities. Please?”
What could I do in the face of these hopeful words but agree? His state was fragile still, but he’d started to open up, and if that was any indication, I needed to stay the course. No doubt having time away from his complicated world was needed, allowing him time to reflect and heal.
The next evening, we’d barely finished dinner when Jake’s phone buzzed. “Time for my nightly video chat. I’ll take it in the den.” He stopped to kiss my cheek as he headed toward the small room situated to the right of the kitchen.
I watched his retreat from my spot in the overstuffed chair by the window, tucking the bookmark into my novel.
“There’s Daddy,” the woman said. “Can you say hi to Daddy?”
“Hi, Sari. Are you …?”
As his voice level dropped, I tilted my head, shifting to better overhear the conversation. Not that I was proud of eavesdropping, but I was curious. The most I’d learned about Jake’s daughter was that she was an adorable toddler, but only from the occasional comment and the ever-changing pictures he used as screensavers.
The little girl squealed, but Jake’s reply was muffled.
I rose and tiptoed into the kitchen.
“… I miss you, Starfish,” Jake said, his voice clearer now. “How has she been?”
“Exhausting. She misses you, Jakob. When are you coming home?"
“Tomorrow afternoon.”
“That’s almost a week you’ve been away. It’s not good that you’re gone so much.”
“This is where my work is right now.” Jake’s tone changed, became steelier. “I don’t enjoy travelling every week, but I have no choice.”
“You sold that beautiful house, so you could work less. Where are you? That doesn’t look like a hotel.”
“This isn’t the best time for this conversation. I appreciate all you’re doing for Sarina. Bye, bye, Starfish. Daddy loves you.”
I crept back to my spot and picked up my novel, the words on the page blurring as his low tones told me he was wrapping up his call.
Some rustling and the distinctive snap of his laptop closing carried to my spot. Seconds later he appeared, rubbing the back of his neck. He stopped in the kitchen for water and the bottle of acetaminophen.
“Headache?” I lifted my head only briefly before tucking my chin to my chest.
“Mmmhmm.” He tossed back the tablets and narrowed his eyes. “How much of that did you hear?”
“Starfish. That’s cute. With you, it’s always nicknames related to the sea.” I failed to quell a horrible thought; what cute sea-inspired name did he have for his wife?
Jake shook his head and reached for his phone. “Sari earned her nickname during her time in the NICU.” As he flicked his index finger across the screen, he said, “My daughter arrived seven weeks early by emergency C-section.” He perched on the arm of my chair. “See? Our first photo.”
I accepted his phone, examining the picture of the baby
