“Then tell her we’re seeing each other. It’s time.”
As my front door opened, he pressed a finger to his lips and covered the few feet to my bedroom, slipping inside and closing the door only seconds before his sister appeared.
“How did it go? Oh, Sari’s awake.”
“It was fine … good. She just woke up from her nap.”
Luci tilted her head, her attention caught by something behind me as I leaned against the island.
“How was your patient? Okay, I hope?”
“The patient … oh, fine, great, yeah.” Her head bobbed. She glanced at her niece, then fixated on the island again, smirking. “Sari looks perfectly content.”
“It went well. She ate a snack and had a long nap.” Though I tried my hardest not to look down, I couldn’t resist. Damn, damn, damn. The keychain with its distinctive Hawaiian koa wood turtle shone like a beacon.
“Good. Are you and—” She clamped her teeth onto her lower lip, squinting at me as she shook her head. “You lied straight to my face. Nobody special? I thought I was imagining things, but his leather jacket is on the rack by your front door and that”—she pointed to the keys the counter—“is his hand-carved turtle from Maui.”
I blinked, hard. This is not how I imagined revealing our relationship to his family.
“You two almost had me, but Jake protested too much about not being ready, and you sat there with that pained look while I fed you details about his fictional love life. Ha!” She pointed her finger at me, her eyes lighting up as she grinned. “And you magically know sign language?”
I clapped a hand over my mouth as the woman performed a victory dance, hips swinging, arms waving, and hair flying, her laughter filling my kitchen.
Sari turned, watching her aunt, wide-eyed.
“Such a lousy actor. My big brother is here, right now, lurking behind that door, hanging on every word we say.” Luci tipped her head toward my bedroom. “Jakob! You’re busted!”
Sarina pushed to her feet, waving her book as Jake stepped from my bedroom.
“You think you’re so sneaky, big brother, but you can’t hide that look you get whenever I mention Amara.” Luci covered the few feet into the living room and scooped up her niece, peppering the little girl with hugs and kisses. “Good job, Starfish, you reeled her in. And now”—she set the giggling toddler onto her feet”—my work is done, so I’ll leave you two to whatever you were doing. Just keep it PG, ’cause I’m leaving the toddler. Tata.” The woman fluttered her fingers and skipped toward my front door.
“Wait.” Jake bolted after her. “Don’t tell Marisol. Not yet.”
“Why ever not?” Her voice level dropped, as did Jake’s, making it impossible to catch anything but the occasional tidbit of conversation.
Sari wandered into the kitchen, clinging to the edge of the counter with one hand as she tapped her lips and pointed to my banana tree.
“Eat?” I mimicked her sign.
She nodded and signed again.
“Banana?” I pointed my index finger and repeated her motions. After setting her on the island, I peeled the bright yellow fruit and broke off a chunk. “Here you go, Baby Starfish.” I tipped my head, straining to hear what was being discussed in my hallway, but their voices were low and muffled.
“What? No way, no how am I assisting with your ludicrous crap. Deal with it, Jakob.”
The door slammed.
Jake shuffled into the kitchen and held out his arms for his daughter. “Come on, Starfish. Let’s get you home for dinner. Sorry, Mar, we need to cancel.”
“You don't need to leave.”
“Yeah, I do. Sari needs dinner and a bath, and I just lost my sitter.”
“We could ...” The firm set of his lips warned me not to bother offering. “Fine. Go.” I waved a hand toward the door and wrapped my arms across my chest.
“Luci will settle down,” he said. “I’ll call you tonight.”
“Why bother? So you can drop by for dinner and a quickie? You're hiding us from everyone. That little performance made it obvious what this is … and what it isn’t. I wanted to be all in, but I’m doing all the giving. This secret half-life is exhausting.”
“Please don’t run from this.”
“I’m not the one who’s running.”
He shook his head. “Don’t overreact.”
“Where am I in all of this?”
“Right here. We’re together.”
“If we were a real couple, me spending a few hours with your daughter wouldn’t freak you out. You would have told me she was with you this trip.”
“It’s not that.” He peered at me over the head of his daughter who had settled against his chest, arms wrapped around his neck.
“You know, when I was married, things seemed really good for a while. Kyle isn’t a horrible person, but still, his needs always mattered more than mine.”
“You’re comparing our relationship to your shitty marriage? That’s great, Amara. Just”—his lip curled as his jaw tightened—“great.”
“No, but skulking around the corners of your life isn’t fulfilling.” I bowed my head. “Sarina is the single most important person in your life. I don’t even rate a distant third.”
“You know the situation. What do you expect?”
“A man who’s there for me. Someone who doesn’t need me to tell him how much it hurts to be shut out of the most important parts of his life. Someone who wants the same things I want. I turn thirty next month and someday soon, I want my own baby. Can you see that in our future?”
“I don’t know if I go through that again. I love Sari, but …”
I closed my eyes, tears burning and seeping from under my lids. The one thing I wanted most was still out of reach. “Shame on me for doing exactly what I swore I would never do again.”
“What are you saying?”
“That I rescheduled my entire life for you. I changed my shifts at work as you weren’t here for weekends, so I could spend more time with you, even though that ended up a bust. I clung to the ridiculous
