He sighed.
“Just say it. The grant you never told me about was approved, so all work is now scheduled on the east coast.”
He nodded.
“No more trips to Vancouver.”
He shook his head.
“Fantastic.”
Jake closed his eyes, turning his head away.
“I mean,” I said, concentrating on softening and levelling my tone, “congratulations. You’ve worked hard for the opportunity. You’ll change lives for the better.”
“And my own life?”
“Seems you’re all set. No point in hanging on while you promise me more and more when it’s never going to happen. I see that now.” I lifted my chin. “Leave your keys on the counter. I’ll pack your things and give them to Greg or Luci.”
Jake bowed his head, rubbing Sarina’s back.
Nothing to say. No fight left in him. All I longed to hear was that he understood, that I was wrong, that we did have a future. That he would try harder. But the humiliating moment dragged on, the uncomfortable silence smothering my last bit of hope. Cutting away this little slice of me, sending this man away, would be painful but, ultimately, it was necessary for both our sakes.
“Bye, Sarina.” I waved and kissed her rosy cheek. “Be good for your daddy.” Now, walk away. Walk away. Walk away. Finally, my stubborn feet obeyed my command, step after step, until finally, I shut my door and crawled under the covers, burying my head and my tears in my pillow.
Chapter 14
Two hours later, once my apartment had descended into that empty quietness that came of being truly alone, that silence that offered no hope of my someone arriving to fill the space, I trudged into the kitchen.
I opened my snack cupboard and shifted packages, coming up with a half-empty box of stale croutons and a bag that offered ten pathetic nacho chips—the woeful remains, thanks to Jake’s constant raids on my munchie stash.
Tears flooded my eyes. Wine. I still had the expensive Sauvignon I’d selected expecting to share tonight’s dinner with Jake. A huge chunk of the afternoon I’d invested preparing food I now had no appetite to eat.
I frowned as the lock in my front door turned, followed by voices.
Seconds later, Beth and Luci appeared, both with armloads of grocery bags.
“Wha—” My words were muffled by Luci’s tight embrace and tiny snuffles.
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to end like that.” Luci pulled back, still holding my shoulders. “For a brilliant man, Jake’s incredibly stupid. And clueless. I love my brother, but … aaaargghh!” Her fingers curled as she lifted her hands in a pantomime, shaking them exactly like she actually had them wrapped around the offender’s throat.
Beth was next, her warm hug and silent back rub making my eyes well up, even though I had no clue how, since I’d emptied gallons of tears into my pillow.
“You told me. Why didn’t I listen?”
“Because you had hope.” She kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry, sweets, it really did seem promising.”
Luci was already emptying bags, littering my island with packages. “Okay, so we have the essentials. Tissue,” she said, holding up two brightly patterned boxes, “and of course, assorted chips and gummies.” She tossed several more packages onto the island. “I ordered two loaded pizzas.”
“Chocolate?” I asked.
Beth produced three packages of my favourite Belgian dark chocolate from her bag, waving them before setting them with the other snacks.
“I have wine.” I turned toward the cabinet against the far wall.
Luci motioned to the assembled ingredients on the counter. “Nope. We have drinks covered. Welcome to Margaritaville,” she said, hefting a bottle in either hand. “All we need is glasses.”
Soon we were gathered in the living room, sipping cocktails and munching pizza and snacks.
“How did you know?”
Luci sighed. “My big brother called from Greg’s and gave me hell for the Sari babysitting fiasco. He’s inordinately pissed and refuses to stay at my place. Anyway, Beth sneaked a look at his phone to get my number, and we organized our rescue mission.”
I reached for a tissue.
“It was stupid for me to interfere.”
“No.” I shook my head. “It would have ended sooner or later, so sooner is better. Thank you for dragging me into the light.” Prolong my agony by pining over the man while he enjoyed his summer surrounded by friends and family, well, that would have just about killed me.
“Would it end, though?” Luci tilted her head. “He loves you, but he’s still struggling to sort out his life. He told you how Alysa died?”
“Eventually.” I sucked back the dregs of my Margarita.
“Damn it, Luci, he’s in the wrong.” Beth refilled our glasses from the frosty pitcher on the coffee table. “No matter how awful, and devastating, and heartbreaking her death was for him, he doesn’t have the right to start something he can’t finish.” She turned to me. “You did the right thing, sweets, you deserve so much more than a dead-end long-distance farce. Ugh, selfish jerkity jerk, jerking you around.”
Luci picked at her nail, head bowed. “It doesn’t change how he feels about you. Be patient. He’ll get there.”
“No, he won’t.” The air rasped down my raw throat. “He doesn’t want another baby.”
“Baby! You’re pregnant?” Luci straightened, reaching for my drink. “Put that down! Did you tell him? Did he walk—”
“No!” I yanked away from her, sloshing margarita across the hardwood. “Seriously. Do ya think I’d be sucking back tequila if I was knocked up?” My hand trembled as I pressed it to my belly, the ache growing. “A baby is in my plans, but it sure the hell isn’t in his, so … we’re done.”
“That’s a deal-breaker,” Beth said as she hurried into the kitchen and grabbed some paper towels. “Never give up your chance for a family.” She returned, kneeling to dab at the sticky puddle on my floor.
“That doesn’t sound like Jake,” Luci said.
“Then maybe
