Jake bowed his head. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Why are you here? Where are Dean and Dar?”
“They took Sari for breakfast.”
“Oh.” I poured a large glass of water, leaning against the counter as I gulped down half of the glass. “You’re not hungry?”
“Not particularly.” He moved toward me, blinking his red-rimmed eyes. “We need to talk.”
Chapter 20
The remaining water danced against the side of the glass clenched between my fingers.
“I thought about what you said.” Jake gripped the edge of the island. “How uncomfortable you seemed. It shouldn’t be that way.”
“I overstepped. It’s none of my business.”
“You deserve an explanation.” Now he stood in front of me, inches away, me twitching as he pried my drink free and set it on the counter behind me. “My daughter will never know her mother. It took weeks for the medication to kick in and months for Alysa to come home. Our marriage was long over by then, but given her mental health, my options were limited; end our marriage or hold it together for Sari’s sake.”
“I’m sorry.” Without thinking, I reached out and stroked the roughness of his stubbly jawline.
“The bond between them was tenuous at best, and then Alysa was gone.” He closed his eyes, pressing his cheek against my palm. “Sometimes, it’s overwhelming. A weight dragging me under.”
Shards of pain sliced through me. I searched for some simple words to comfort him, but everything seemed forced. Hollow. “Tell me.”
“Everyone says it’s not my fault, but maybe they say it to keep me from imploding.”
“Depression is a tricky illness. You know it”—I placed my other hand over his chest—“in here.”
He slid his arms around me, resting his head on my shoulder. “I want to give you everything, but I’m scared,” he whispered. “I’m stupid, lying to you. I wanted something to happen, even if I have no right to expect anything. Being with you makes everything better. It’s not over between us.”
“It’s okay.” Holding him in my arms after these long weeks, I knew to my core that he was right. We weren’t over. Fighting my feelings was a futile exercise. A lost cause. I slid my hand down to his, tugging him toward the stairs, feeling only a slight twinge of guilt.
Without protest, Jake followed me to the guest room. I pushed the door shut with my foot, still unsure if this was the right thing, but I hated to see his pain. I could even understand it a little. How many nights had I felt hopeless and alone? Yet my big tragedy was divorce, which was nothing when compared to death.
“Mar,” he said, his voice low and almost breathless.
I peeled my top over my head and tugged my hair free of its ponytail. Not breaking our eye contact for a second, I slid my hands under his sweater, caressing his smooth skin.
He exhaled heavily, tipping back his head as his eyes sank shut.
Moving closer, I lifted his sweater, bringing it over his head and tossing it aside. I shivered as he caught me around the waist, pressing his face against my neck.
“Mmmm, sweet and salty. I miss your taste. Your smell.” His kiss sent me spinning as I clung to his broad shoulders.
Even if this turned out to be my biggest mistake, it was worth it. Right now, all that mattered was him, and me, together.
In a calm sea, I paddled toward fish in varying shades of yellow and blue, the occasional flutter of my swim fins jetting me over rocks and coral. The tropical sun beat on my back, the water caressing my skin as I hovered, inspecting the starfish splayed across a rock only inches away. A clump of seaweed drifted against my shoulder and wrapped around me, tightening into a vice as I brushed at it, but it refused to loosen. I swatted and pried as the clump tightened, creating ripples as it shook me.
“Wake up.” A disjointed voice echoed, surrounding me.
The tropics dissolved and I opened my eyes, greeted by antique-white walls in a dim bedroom.
“You were mumbling.” He cuddled closer, his bare chest pressed against my back as he curled his arm over my waist.
I angled my head. “What time is it?”
“Almost one.”
“In the afternoon?” I giggled, but then reality crept in. “Oh, crap. We fell asleep.” Rolling, I stared at an adorably mussed Jake, his hair sticking out at all angles.
Something thumped, the sound reverberating throughout the house, followed by the whir of Dara’s stand mixer.
“She’s making cookies,” Jake whispered. “I’m starving.”
“Cookies? We had sex in their guest room, and you’re worried about what she’s baking?” I clapped a hand over Jake’s mouth as he laughed aloud. “Shh. What do we do?”
“Shower and dress?”
“If we go down there, they’ll know.”
Jake widened his eyes. “Oh, the horror!” He swept his fingers over the sensitive spot on my belly.
I shrieked and curled into a ball, breaking into full-blown laughter as he launched into tickle mode. “Stop.” Gasping for air, I lunged at him, but Jake caught my wrists in one hand, continuing his assault with the other. “Oh, stop. They’ll hear us.”
“Like they missed that high-pitched squeal?” After planting a kiss on my lips, he rolled from the bed, gracing me with a view of his firm ass. “Care to join me?” He glanced over his shoulder when he reached the doorway, wiggling his brows.
“Incorrigible.” I threw back the covers. “Warm it up.”
Straightening the tangled mess of sheets brought order to the room, but it did nothing for my tangled nerves.
Jake combed his fingers through his damp hair. “Ready?”
“You go.” I plumped the pillows and tucked them under the duvet.
“Uh-uh.” He hauled me into the hall, steering me forward. “We’re in this together.” Just before we reached the top of the stairs, he twirled me into his arms, rocking us in a slow dance. “That was amazing, Mare,” he whispered against my hair.
“Buttering me up?” I wrinkled my nose,
