“I don’t have to pretend to be crazy about you,” I continue. “I never have to pretend.”
There’s a long moment of silence. Naomi breaks it. “I don’t believe you.”
I’m still talking to her back. “Do you think I could lie about something like this?” I grind out, stung. “Do you think I respect you so little that I would toy with you this way?”
She whirls around. Her eyes flash dangerously. “I think,” she says, throwing the words at me, “that you can make anyone believe anything.”
I go very still. Did I hear her correctly? How did she find out my deepest secret, my darkest shame?
She reads my expression perfectly. “That’s right. You can make anyone believe anything. That’s your superpower, isn’t it? I think it’s in your best interests to keep me happy, because I’ll make a more convincing newlywed that way and yes, Danek, I think you’d do whatever you could to succeed at this mission.”
“I have a talent, yes. I’ve never used it on you.” Now that it’s sinking in, it’s honestly a relief that she knows. I don’t want to keep secrets from her, not even the ones that plague me with guilt. “You heard me. The first day, when I was talking to the others. What else did you discover?”
“That’s the part you’re choosing to focus on?” Her voice is thick with frustration. “Fine. I overheard pieces and parts of your conversation. You promised someone you would be their warlord. But you failed and they were all killed.” She lifts her eyes to mine. “I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop.”
“I know.” It wasn’t her fault. I’d been angry and agitated. I’d breached the cone of silence more than once.
“You sounded really upset.”
An unpleasant thought slams into me, robbing me of my breath. “Is that why you slept with me? Because you felt sorry for me?”
“What?” Her mouth falls open. “No, you colossal idiot. I’m not running a fucking charity out of my pussy. I slept with you because I wanted to.”
“Oh.” I run my hands through my hair, relief leaving me weak-kneed. “Okay. I’m glad. I mean, I want you too, of course, so that’s good that you…” I’m blabbering. I’m making myself cringe. Before I can embarrass myself even further, I shut my mouth.
She stares at my face. “You have no idea. You’re fucking gorgeous, and you have no clue, do you? How do you not know? Women must have thrown themselves at you your entire life.”
“In the High Empire? I was created in a laboratory. I don’t have a family. I don’t have a House. You know why women wanted to sleep with me? They wanted to know if I had a penis, and if it worked. That’s it. I am a curiosity, nothing more. The type you fuck, but not the type you keep.”
I’m blabbering again. I’m telling her too much. I’m tearing open my chest, and handing her a knife, pointed straight at my heart.
“Were you curious?” I ask.
“About your penis?”
A laugh tears out of me. “About the things you overheard. The warlord, the deaths. The people I failed to protect.” I sink onto a nearby couch, pushing Pumpkin out of the way. The floof gives me an offended look and stalks off to rub himself against a nearby failut rock.
“Yes,” she admits. “But only because you sounded so shattered.” She attempts a small smile. “The Danek I know is always in control.”
“You, more than most, know exactly how it goes.” I shrug. There’s nothing special about me. Millions of people deal with trauma, day after day. The universe doesn’t stop for them. The universe stops for no one. “You wake up. You walk around. You build a bridge back to normalcy, brick by brick, and it’s eventually strong enough to sustain you.”
Pestilence jumps into my lap and demands petting. I do her bidding while gathering my thoughts. “I have some ability to convince people to do what I want them to do. I don’t like doing it.” I grimace. “It never seemed right to me to deprive people of their free will. Of course, the High Empire had different ideas. My gift was too powerful to leave unused.”
She sits next to me and laces her fingers in mine. “What happened?” she asks softly.
“Koval.” I close my eyes and the Draekon springs into view. Young, bright-eyed, and hopeful. “The six of us, the Crimson Force, were made in a lab, but that’s a very expensive way to make Draekons. It’s far cheaper to make younglings the natural way. The scientists found some women—”
“Found?”
“Found. Kidnapped. It was all the same to them.”
Her face goes pale. “I shouldn’t be surprised,” she murmurs. “Not after everything they did to us. They kidnapped some women and then what?”
“They implanted the Draekon gene in embryos, and let nature do the rest. Sixteen years later, they had their first crop of soldiers. Koval was one of them.”
She surveys me silently. “You liked him.”
She’s dangerously perceptive. “He reminded me of a younger version of myself,” I admit. I’ve never said that to anyone, not even to my brothers. “Koval wasn’t a very good soldier.”
“Why?”
“He asked questions. Difficult questions. He wanted to know why it was his job to fight for the High Empire. He wanted to know why, when we were as sentient as any Zorahn in the High Empire, we were slaves and they were our masters. He wanted to know why he couldn’t choose his own destiny.”
“And?”
“He came to me. We talked for hours, and when we were done, I’d made him rebel. I’d talked him into it.”
She must hear the despair in my voice, because she squeezes my hand tight. I take a deep breath and continue. “Koval wasn’t a strategist. He just didn’t have the experience. I, on the other hand, did. He asked me to be their warlord, and I agreed.”
“You said you failed.” She slants me a glance. “Something stopped you. What was it?”
“Why do you think something stopped
